Hair Loss - My problem

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My problem

Printed From: HairBoutique.com
Category: Hair Talk
Forum Name: Hair Loss
Forum Description: Support group for those suffering from hair loss.
URL: /forum_posts.php?TID=8171
Printed Date: Sep 19, 2024 at 7:49pm

Topic: My problem

Posted By: sandy
Subject: My problem
Date Posted: Sep 21, 2002 at 6:52pm

My name is Sandra and I have had Alopecia Totalis for 5 years, since I was 18. Up to now I`ve always worn a wig but I feel it`s about time I was able to throw it away and go "au naturel", but somehow can`t bring myself to do it! Has anyone else had such a problem and if so how did you deal with it? My homepage is as follows, to give you more of an idea about me.

http://geocities.com/scooper632000/baldsandyspage.html - http://geocities.com/scooper632000/baldsandyspage.html

-------------
BaldSandra

Replies: 37

Posted By: sandy
Date Posted: Sep 21, 2002 at 6:52pm

Posted By: Johan
Date Posted: Oct 9, 2002 at 1:16am

Sandra, Without a doubt, some of the most beautiful women I have ever seen are bald women, and you would not believe how many men are attracted to bald women, especially if you doll yourself up with long earrings, the right makeup, sexy dresses, etc..You can really see a woman`s feminine features when she is bald! My beautiful wife Monique wears her hair ultra-short, and on occasion shaves her head smooth and bald, and she looks sensational, very sexy, and a bald head on a woman is so sensual to the touch! A bald woman has really the best of both worlds, she can wear a wig and have hair, or go with the smooth sensual bald style! My wife likes being bald so much, she has even considered electrolysis to permanently remove all of her hair and go bald! I think you are a lucky woman darling, and if you want to go bald, some people will stare at you, but I assure you many of those stares will be looks of admiration and attraction! Kisses and a hug from me and my wife! Love, Johan

Posted By: Johan
Date Posted: Oct 9, 2002 at 1:26am

Also Sandra darling, there is a website called baldfiles dedicated exclusively to bald women, and the men who love them, and on page one or two, if you look at the listings of baldfiles, you will find an address for the smootdomes site, also dedicated to beautiful bald women, with writings by bald women! Good luck lovely bald lady! Love, Johan

Posted By: Bald Jennifer
Date Posted: Oct 9, 2002 at 5:35pm

LOVELY SANDRA ! I too have alopecia totalis, with me it has been lifelong! I sometimes do go out bald with my husband to art galleries, concerts, clubs, etc., and I really dress up with my best earrings and jewelry, a little black dress, or a long elegent dress, high heels, carefully applied makeup; you get the idea, and I usually get very favorable looks and comments, which my husband and I enjoy! And yes, everything Johan said is true, I have discovered that bald women do have the best of both worlds, wearing hair, or going bald and beautiful!- You may want to wear a wig at work, no need to attract extra attention there though.------------- I LOVE BEING A BALD WOMAN SANDRA I WOULDN`T HAVE IT ANY OTHER WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! REMEMBER, YOU ARE PART OF A UNIQUE GROUP OF BEAUTIFUL WOMEN!!! YOU ARE SMOOTH AND LOVELY, MUCH LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted By: linda
Date Posted: Oct 11, 2002 at 2:50am

Dear Sandy, I also have alopecia totalis. I was awfully shy up until I was in my late twenties, and ALLWAYS WORE A WIG EVERYWHERE! Then one night a girlfriend of mine asked me to go out to a nightclub with her. She had just gotten a very short haircut, and she suggested I go to the club bald, wear some attractive gold hoop earrings that I had , and a short skirt, nylons and heels. I don`t know why but for the first time ever I went out bald, and we had a great time! We got more attention than any other women in the club!
The week after, I went shopping , bought a couple of sexy dresses, and some long dangle earrings, a couple of beautiful scarves, and it just went from there. I am in my mid-thirties now, married and pregnant with my first child! I never thought it could be a blessing to be a bald woman, but I met the right people and the right guy, and most importantly, I enjoy being myself, and I never would have believed this, but I`m glad I`m bald.
I`m sure Britian is not much different than America is Sandy. I say , go for it young lady!
My love Sandy!
Bald Linda

Posted By: Johan
Date Posted: Oct 12, 2002 at 1:35pm

Dear Sandy, I appreciate you writing into my post on general hair talk. There are a couple of things that I wanted to mention to you regarding the increasing acceptance of bald women that I saw on American television.
There was a documentary on American women in their twenties going out on dates with men. The show was done in New York City in Manhatten. There were three young women who were talking together about the guys they dated, then it showed them on dates with their guys, then later the women got together and talked about dating some more. Two of the women were white women, one was a black woman. One of the white women had long blonde hair, the black woman had short curly permed hair, and the other white woman was completely smooth and bald! What was interesting was that the bald woman`s baldness was never even mentioned, it was just another fashion style! It was like, here are three young American women on dates with their men, one with long hair, one with short hair, and one bald, and all of these women were modern fashionable women;beautiful, attractive, everyday women who worked and dated men. A very cool show, I wished I had taped it!
Also there was a show on local television here in the Minneapolis/St. Paul area that was interviewing college professors on cultural issues. One of the professors was a middle aged black woman who taught African-American studies at a local university, and she had a shaved head, she was completely smooth and bald, and no one on the show mentioned her baldness.
These women going bald in public on television indicates to me the growing acceptance in the western world of bald women!
Much love,
Johan

Posted By: sandy
Date Posted: Oct 13, 2002 at 2:56pm

To all of you lovely people who have replied to my plight, thank you. I was quite amazed to see there was not only a BaldSandra but a Bald Linda, Bald Jennifer and a Bald Heidi as well. We should form the Bald Ladies Club! Seriously I am so pleased for you (and a bit envious) that you belong in a culture where women can go bald in public and no one turn a hair, so to speak. That isn`t the case in Backward Britain, I`m afraid, not yet anyway. But thinks for your support, it`s really nice to know that people care.!,$Ahdba

Posted By: Bald Jennifer
Date Posted: Oct 17, 2002 at 1:15am

HI SANDRA, I saw on cable that same show about people on dates that Johan saw with the young bald woman and two other girls, I can`t remember if the show was on one of the music networks like MTV or VHI, or one of the cultural/ society type networks like A and E, or Lifetime, I guess it doesn`t matter. At any rate the bald woman was an artist and a secretary and the guy she was on a date with was a very handsome guy with long brown hair, he worked in the music industry and played music, too! And since they were both interested in the arts they got along real well, later in the show they both indicated they wanted to date each other again, it was very romantic! And they were so cute together, she had big brown eyes and looked sensational bald with a real nice black dress, beautiful earrings and perfect makeup, and the guy was a real gentleman, a fairly big guy who looked atheletic but very handsome with his hair back in a ponytail and a very pleasant personality, mild mannered, you know a gentleman. Their conversation was intelligent too, unlike some of these stupid dating shows! They had some nice long hugging and kissing at the end of the date too, instigated by the bald woman! If all dating shows were as good as that show I would watch dating shows more often, but those type of shows are usually stupid!
I also saw a show on cable about a woman in L.A. who had all of the hair on her head removed through laser and electrolysis! The show was about tatooing, piercing, head shaving, various stuff like that, some of the show was really weird, but some of the tattoos were nice, not trashy looking, and the woman who had her hair removed was probably in her thirties. There is a subcult of people that actually do that! ISN`T IT AMAZING! Here women with alopecia(or at least some women with alopecia, not me!) want to have hair, and other women are having their hair removed! What a world! All sorts, I guess!
Anyway Sandra, just had to write those thoughts after reading what Johan had written.
Best of luck sweetie, all of my love!!!!!

Posted By: sandy
Date Posted: Oct 20, 2002 at 3:22pm

Dear Belinda and Bald Jennifer, thank you so much for your replies. You`re quite right, if I were in London or some other large and cosmopolitan city I don`t think there would be a problem, it`s just out here in the `sticks` people are a lot more inward-looking in their attitude, than when they see a bald woman positively neanderthal!
How I wish, like the USA we had TV shows where bald women are free to turn up on dating shows and NOT just be there for the freek value. I`ll bet all that electrolysis was painful, too, but it just goes to show how much more accepting they are on the other side of "the pond". It does indeed take "all sorts", just there aren`t as many of them over here, not yet anyway. I like the fact that you are really happy not to have hair, it`s an attitude I will aspire to.
Love to both,
Sandy!,$Ahdba

Posted By: sandy
Date Posted: Oct 26, 2002 at 2:47pm

Dearest Linda & Heidi,
All this wonderful support is really helpful, thank you so much. You are of course so right that baldness is all a state of mind. I guess it takes time to actually convince yourself of this, of course. I`m still on a learning curve as far as that goes. The crunch will come when I do eventually meet a man with the qualties you have said - so far, no such luck! Baldness, it seems, brings out the shallowness in them.
One said he wouldn`t have anything to do with me unless I "did something about it" Like what, I wonder? Another thought there was some magic head cream I must be able to use. Not one of them so far has yet allowed to walk down the street "naked" with them - (and I only mean my head! lol. ) Confidence is one thing but it helps if someone else gives you some, and I mean more than just kind people on this message board but a real-life guy. Anyway I`ll take your words to heart, I really will, and hopefully some of your confidence will rub off on me, then inspire someone else to give me some more.
Anyway I must stop wallowing - lighten up Sandy!!!,$Ahdba

Posted By: Johan
Date Posted: Oct 26, 2002 at 4:38pm

Lovely Sandy,
I just got done watching a soccer(football) game from your country England! It was played earlier today, we saw the game here on satellite dish on tape delay. My favorite English team Liverpool beat Tottenham 2-1! It was a great match!
Sandy, I read what Linda wrote, and I agree with everything she said, especially the part about a person developing themselves as a person, spiritually, pursuing their intellectual interests and so forth. And also Sandy, my wife and I know plenty of single women who have fulfilling lives who do many things that interest them, you don`t really need a full time guy, if you get one that`s great, but you have your own life. I spendt many years single before my first marriage, then after my first wife, a drug abuser, abandoned me and our two little daughters,( who were very young at the time ),I was single again, before I met my present beautiful wife Monique. I spendt most of my life without a good woman, but I had plenty of interests, and I worked hard!
I relate to you alot Sandy because I am different too! I am in my 40s and when I was a teenager and young adult, back in the 1970s and 1980s, it was the style for many guys to wear their hair real long, you know the hippie look. But nowadays some guys still have long hair but not near as many. I continue to wear my hair long about half way down my back and a goatee beard, because I like that style and also because my wife(who as you know wears her hair ultra-short and who on several occasions has shaved her head bald), likes my long hair and wants me to keep it long, so I wear it that way to please her.
You would not believe some of the crap I have taken from people because of my long hair! The Minneapolis/St. Paul metroplitan area is a fairly big city, appox. 3 million metro area including suburbs, and a very libertarian and tolerant city, but even here a few people have given me a bad time! Nobody accuses me of being gay, because I am husky and atheletic in build and I look fairly tough(must be those scars from playing ice hockey), but I have been called hippie scum, loser bum, long haired creep, accused of being a drug dealer, a pimp, a criminal. And here I am, my clothes are clean, my hair is clean and well groomed, I am hard working, run my own cab business, I am educated, well read,and I like to believe I am a good husband and father. When I was younger I got into a little trouble, but as an adult man I believe I am a responsible guy who is good to people and a good guy! Yet there are people that judge me and try to put me down(I say try, because if they try to put me down, believe me, I give them hell back, I assure you, and I am not one to mess with!), just because of my long hair and beard! And there are some incredibly immature and foolish people that will judge you because you are a bald woman! Most people won`t, but there are some people who will ,people who I think have an anti-social problem if they can`t stand the fact that people have different types of hair!
What is most amazing to me though is that I know for a fact that many men like women with short hair, that is why many women over the age of 25 wear short hair, not only because it is easier to take care of but because they know it is attractive, and many guys like bald women too, and I mean many guys, I`ve discussed it with many people in my taxicab, and I meet many types of people. It is only a matter of time before ultra-short hair and bald looks for women become even more popular, it is bound to happen because it is so attractive on women.
I know both in my everyday life and on the internet, I am going to encourage these styles for women, and encourage women who want to try these styles to try them, and encourage men who like women in these styles to admit it, be honest and admit that women look so pretty and sexy with an ultra-short hairstyle and especially with the bald look!
And me,and my wife Monique, are always on the side of women like you Sandra, beautiful bald women with alopecia, like I said before on this site, in my opinion you are lucky because women with alopecia totalis are more beautiful, and probably better women, than most of the other ladies!
Love darling Sandra,
Johan

Posted By: Johan
Date Posted: Oct 27, 2002 at 1:13pm

Sandy and Heidi, Hello lovely ladies,
Heidi, Minneapolis is a progressive city, and only on rare occasions do I meet idiots that give me a bad time about my hair. But you have to remember I am in the taxicab industry and we are out on the road alot and out amongst the general public more than most people are, so I meet all kinds; the good, the bad and the ugly! The point I was making to Sandy in relating to her, is that both bald women and men with long hair have subcult hairstyles, that I believe are attractive, but still a subcult to many people.
Sandy, remember I wrote earlier that I thought one of the advantages bald women had was they could go natural with their bald look, or wear wigs and have different hairstyles? As you know, I prefer my wife with very short hair or bald, but she does look good in wigs too. She has mostly short haired brunette wigs, in cute styles, but yesterday she bought a wig longer than her other wigs, a brunette wig that is several inches past her shoulders, in a nice style, sort of like Jennifer Lopez`s hair, and my wife wore it to church this morning with a very pretty dress, and she looked so good! She looks the most beautiful bald, but she does look great in wigs too, and it gives her the advantage of having different looks. Her different wigs and headscarves are very beautiful, and that , along with the different assortment of earrings and jewelry she wears, can give her different looks. She is always the same Monique, but it is just so fashionable for her to wear different pretty attractive looks!
Later beautiful ladies!

Posted By: Carol
Date Posted: Oct 27, 2002 at 7:06pm

Hello Sandy______ i`m one of the tribe, about as complete of an alopecia totalis person as you will ever meet, my head is so bald it shines! i have been this way since i was 15, now over 20 years later i don`t even think much about being bald, you get completely used to it, and you end up doing the same things every other woman does.
You are already over the worst sandy, the first couple of years are by far the worst, i had to take anti-depressant pills for a few years but it gets better, and you eventually end up with the same joys and problems every other woman has, more or less, we are just doing it bald! oh yes, i suppose you know by now to wear something on your head in the cool months of the year! if you think the u.k. is cold in the winter, try canada! not the best climate, for at least half the year, for us bald and beautiful types!
a big hug from an alop/total sister in toronto!

Posted By: Johan
Date Posted: Oct 30, 2002 at 10:40pm

Dear Sandy,
There was something I was meaning to ask you but I forgot about it until tonight. I read in the newspapers and saw on national television last summer that they had an international alopecia convention in the city of St. Louis, here in the U.S. last July. They showed bald men, women and children, and the convention seemed to have a very festive atmosphere, although I am sure they had serious discussion groups as well.
I also know they have alopecia meetings here in Minneapolis, including group meetings for bald women. I was wondering does your city or a nearby city in England have alopecia group meetings, and if so, have you ever attended. It would be interesting to know what the alopecia women disscused, and how they view life for bald women in the U.K.
Sincerely,
Love
Johan

Posted By: Johan
Date Posted: Oct 30, 2002 at 10:50pm

Also Sandy, my wife Monique wrote some interesting stuff on the general talk site on Julie`s thread that is titled "Hair and Spirituality". Both the woman Julie and my wife had some interesting things to say about hair, or the lack of hair, and how they feel about it, and some of their religious and spiritual ideas. I think you would find it very interesting.
Thanks,
Johan

Posted By: sandy
Date Posted: Nov 2, 2002 at 8:48am

Hi Johan,
Thanks for the advice. Unfortunately no such group exists as far as I know here in the Midlands of England, though I must admit that never having really gone public about my condition I`ve never really looked into it. That`s one thing about the US, they seem to have Special Interest Groups for anything you want. Sleepy old Britain lets me down again! Now, the "Spirituality of no Hair", what`s that? You`ll have to excuse my ignorance but the only thing that comes to my mind is Hare Krishna. I`ve had people shout "Krishna" at me, in fact. Glad you enjoyed the footie, Liverpool are top of the League at the moment.
Dear Carol, thanks for your message. You must need some woolly hat in winter! One thing I have noticed in common is that all the girls who have sent helpful messages have all lived with and I guess covered up the condition for a while, until one day they throw the wig off and wish they`d done it years earlier. Am I right? I guess there must be hope yet!!,$Ahdba

Posted By: Johan
Date Posted: Nov 3, 2002 at 12:44am

Hello Sandra,

Sandra, I am Johan`s wife Monique. I usually don`t write on the computer but Johan asked me to write you.

As you know Johan loves bald women, which is fortunate for me because for many years I have had the desire to be bald. I have worn my hair very short since I was 15 and the shorter my hair was the better I liked it. And just as Johan has " a thing" for short haired and bald women, I have " a thing" for long haired men, and I have been this way since I was a girl. When Johan and I met each other, even before we got to know each other and fall in love, we had an immediate attraction to each other because he had very long hair(and it was clean and groomed well, unlike some long haired guys), and I had very short hair. He approached me one day at a coffeehouse and started a conversation( I was much too shy to approach him, although he must have seen me looking at him with interest!), and it just went from there. He is a very sweet, funny, warm, intelligent guy and handsome!, and I feel very fortunate to be married to him!

What I really wanted to say to you though Sandra, and this may be difficult for many people to understand, is that I have an actual craving to be bald. It actually started in my teens. I remember seeing the Star Trek movie on T.V. , and how the bald woman Lt.Illia was portraited in the movie as a supremely sexual/sensual woman who was very evolved and the men were extremely attracted to her. And I loved the idea of a woman who was an educated woman with professional skills who was from a highly evolved people, a liberated woman, yet so feminine and so bald!!!
It was also during my high school years that I was introduced to Zen Buddhism and the bald Buddhist nuns. I had dreamt for years about being a Catholic nun, I was an extremely shy girl for a variety of reasons that would take some time to explain here, but the Buddhist nuns not only played into my desire for a somewhat secluded and religious life but also into my bald girl/long haired guy sort of sex appeal ideas that I had. And of course it was around this time 14 or 15 years ago that bald women were becoming noticeable on the catwalks of Milan, Paris, London and New York, so it occured to me that shaving my head was just a matter of time.

When I was 22 I had my head shaved by a girlfriend of mine. It was one of the best experiences of my life, and to make a long story short(no pun intended), I have worn my hair very short or shaved bald ever since(I turned 29 this autumn).

In recent years my craving to be always bald has become increasingly strong. Because I don`t like shaving my head every day,( I don`t really like shaving my legs or underarms alot either although I do shave them), I usually wore my hair short. But at times, (like the other night), Johan would shave my head and then for awhile I would shave my head daily. At the moment, I am keeping my head shaved. It seems to me that eventually I will have to solve my problem of my overwhelming desire to be bald by having my hair head removed with laser and electrolysis. I have thought about this for some time and have had discussions with Johan about it, and he is , of course, fine with the idea, even delighted with the idea since he likes the "bald look" on me the best. But he isn`t pushing me at all to do it, it has to be my ultimate decision, and he will love me whether I do it or not.
At times Sandra, and this may also sound quite strange to some people, but at times I have even prayed to have complete alopecia so that I wouldn`t have to try to make this decision to have my hair removed, it would just be gone, I would be permanently bald. I have a choice Sandra, but I really don`t want the choice.

All I know Sandra is that my spirituality, my sensuality, my sexuality, my idea of being the ideal woman, even my ideal of femiminity and being the ideal wife for Johan, is deeply linked to my craving to be always bald. And as you may know I am pregnant and I even dream of being a bald mother breast feeding my baby! As the years have gone by I just identlfy at least a portion of my womanhood with complete baldness and smooth, very smooth skin. I am a Christian, not a Buddhist, but without a doubt, being bald is also very, very spiritual to me, I associate feminine baldness with sacrifice, service to others, modesty, humility, and giving myself to my husband and to God. Maybe you will never understand these feeling Sandra but I have described this the best I know how. And some of these ideas did come from reading about the Buddhist nuns, who in some ways are my role models.

My husband wanted me to explain my ideas and desires to you Sandra, or other bald women,( or women contemplating baldness)who read this. That I am one of those women that may eventually be a woman with "voluntary" alopecia totalis, that is a woman who has had all of her hair permanently removed. And then my dream will be complete.

I can`t even tell you Sandra how much I wish the best for you!
All of my love Sandra!

Monique

Posted By: Bald Jennifer
Date Posted: Nov 3, 2002 at 1:43pm

MONIQUE, IT IS SO GREAT TO HEAR FROM YOU!!!!!
We have heard so much about you from Johan, you sound like such an interesting and beautiful woman!!!!!
Monique, I would be the last person to discourage you from having your hair removed and becoming a beautiful , permanently bald,alopecia totalis sister!!!
But from what I have read about women who have all of the hair on their head removed it is a very long and expensive process that can take up to three years, because they can only do so much at a time and it has to heal and there has to be touch up with electrolysis for what the laser treatments have missed.
Also make certain you have the type of head and skin where this can be done without too much scarring or discoloration, not everyone can have it done. and check around, get a few opinions and make certain whoever does it is the best in the business!
Still Monique, if you are the kind of woman who can have it done, IT IS EXCITING!!!!! I know that some women with hair like yourself do have deep sensual and spiritual cravings for permanent baldness like Sandy and I have (are blessed with in my opinion), and since you have such an adorable husband who appreciates and loves you bald, that is such a beautiful thing as well!
Good luck with your pregnancy and life Monique, whatever your decision about your hair, and thanks for writing, you explain yourself so well!

SANDY, ALL OF MY LOVE TO YOU BALD BRITISH LADY YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL, AND BEST OF LUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted By: sandy
Date Posted: Nov 3, 2002 at 4:42pm

Dearest Monique,
After reading your piece I think that I should be renaming this thread, as maybe it isn`t such a "my problem" after all! You are obviously a deeply spritual person and I can see now from your experiences how it seems that to be a beautiful and bald woman was almost your fate! It must also have been fate that delivered you into the arms of a caring, loving man who appreciates you in all ways, I think you are very lucky. I too was born a Christian (Catholic) but sadly I drifted away from the religious ideal many years ago. I think our country is a bit more secular than the US, only 1 in 40 is a churchgoer and most people are apt to be a bit cynical. I really wish I had your faith, but am resigned to the fact it is not to be.
As regards looking your best bald, do you mind if I ask for a fashion tip. I`ve bought the large dangly earrings and they look great, in fact I would imagine they are almost compulsory for a bald woman, but what about make-up? I was considering using a high blusher to accentuate my cheekbones, but what about the eyes? Light or dark, which do you use? Lips - understated or overstated? I`m just trying to get a few ideas, as I`ve never really bothered with makeup much, whereas if I were to go out bare-headed then I think it would have to be accompanied by some sort of statement, if you know what I mean.
You idea of going permanently bald sounds great, I`m sure you would only take such a drastic step if you were really confident about it. But I must agree with Bald Jennifer about electrolysis. From what I`ve heard it`s painful and expensive enough when just treating a small area, to do a whole head would take years, hurt a great deal and may leave your head looking patchy, while laser treatment can scar. I wondered if there was some sort of depliatory oil could be used, something containing a chemical which would kill the roots off. I know it exists because there have been stories of women left bald by inexperienced hairdressers who use the wrong bottle! I imagine it probably smells awful and isn`t very pleasant but it might just be a less painful alternative to consider.
See how you have transformed me, Monique, this started off as "my problem" and now I`m giving advice on how to stay bald? You and Johan are wonderful people. Thank you.
!,$Ahdba

Posted By: sandy
Date Posted: Nov 4, 2002 at 3:06pm

Hi again Monique,
Thanks for your response. Like you have surmised I am white, so I`ll go with whatever takes my fancy. The idea of permanent make-up around the eyes and eyebrow is something which appeals to me, I must say.
I wish you all the very best with your pregnancy, it`s something I have yet to experience - generally I find it helps if there is a man involved! lol
There would, I think be something, if not spiritual then certainly symmetrical about breastfeeding a bald child while having a bald head, I can certainly see how that would appeal. I`ll definitely do it, and in public too if I dare! Knowing my luck the baby would be really hairy.
Anyway Monique, I don`t know how far you have to go yet but I wish you all the best for a short and pain-free birth and above all a healthy baby.
Love,
Sandra!,$Ahdba

Posted By: Johan
Date Posted: Nov 5, 2002 at 11:11am

Beautiful Sandy,
I have checked throughly Sandy with a number of experts as has Monique, and the only effective form of permanent hair removal is electrolysis, everything else is really a gimmick, it isn`t really permanent. But I want Monique to wait awhile before making that decision, and she is not a good canidate for laser either, that works best for very light skinned people with dark hair.My wife is not real dark skinned but she may be a little bit too dark and there could be problems. So if she does decide to go that route, it would have to be electrolysis. I really don`t care, but she has this dream of being permanently bald. She may just have to accept the fact that she has hair, and live with it.
You are right Sandy, America is more religious than Europe, Canada, Japan, Australia,etc. In America 40 % of males and 60% of females attend church on a more or less regular basis, far more than any other industrial country.
One of the reasons for that is while our government provides the world`s strongest military, a good infrastructure of roads, bridges, dams,etc., good police and fire departments, etc., they offer precious little in regards to social programs such as food stamps, low income housing, day care for children, drug and alchohal rehabs, prison rehabs,clothing allowances, and of course 44 million Americans don`t have any form of health insurance, government or private.
So the churchs and their charities fill the void. They have many, many food shelves, clothing shelves, day care programs for kids, programs for senior citizens, rehabs for addicts and ex-cons out of prison, and many hospitals and health clinics.
In most industrial countries if the government quit providing social services, the country would fall apart, in the U.S. if the church charities quit providing services the country would fall apart. In just housing alone they provide 10 million housing units to the poor, and our poor are poorer than your poor,(and our rich are richer!). The American government says two things to people: one-this is the country with the most freedom, do whatever you want, and two- if you want something, get it yourself we will not help you much.
So not only are many Americans believers, but even those that aren`t contribute to church charities, even criminals give money to church charities(ever seen the organized crime show THE SOPRANOS, you notice all the gangsters wifes and girlfriends go to church and help with the church charities, and the gangsters themselves give money to the charities, that is true to life!)
This attitude of our government, you are free but if you want something get it yourself, is also, unfortunately, the reason we have so much crime, and many people have guns, which of course are legal in the U.S..
We are a strange outlaw sort of country I know. But we are not as uncivilized as some people think, it`s just that our politics are more like South America than Europe, Canada, Japan,etc.
And women from the common classes especially, are religious, even some of the tough broads. I have seen tough trampy looking women in America all dolled up wearing short skirts, who will be talking tough and cursing but then the subject switches to religion and they all seem to go to church and take their kids there!
My wife is not a tough gal, she is petite and ultra-feminine, but yes she does some volunteer work at the church and goes every week, and usually goes with my teenaged daughters,(I only go on occasion). There are so many people going to church some Sundays that there are rush hour like traffic jams.And all this in a country of hard working, hard drinking, gun toting sorts, too many who have a criminal bent! I know, it is sort of crazy, but we are used to it!
By the way, my wife is due at the end of Febuary, the ultra-sound indicates it is a girl! Can`t wait to meet the little darling!
Much love to you Sandy, and it if very cool that you are going with the long earrings, makeup, sexy clothes, and so forth. By all means beautiful bald princess, make a statement, and those that are hip, or who have any brains or fashion sense will be most appreciative!!!!!
By the way Sandy, you have an excellent vocabulary. I don`t know what your job is, or how much education you have, but you are very articulate and intelligent! Add the fact that you are bald and beautiful, with a British accent to boot, you seem like an ideal woman, almost perfect!!! I bet there are guys that would almost kill to be with you, if I wasn`t married to a bald doll myself, I would!!!!!
God bless you lovely lady!!!!!

Posted By: Carol
Date Posted: Nov 5, 2002 at 7:49pm

Hi again Sandy,

sandy, i can tell you are making huge strides in realizing how beautiful you are! and johan is right you are obviously very intelligent with so much going for you!

Johan and Monique, it is just incredible monique that you are seriously considering permanent hair removal on your head! i have heard of that but it still amazes me, not that i think it is bad! but of course you have to be careful if you intend to do it, as has been mentioned by jennifer and sandy. a bald head has to be as smooth and lovely as possible! It also it must be somewhat fun and sexy shaving monique`s head, i`m sure johan loves doing that! also a back massage and a head massage is nice, my husband loves to do that for me sometimes!
Monique, i wrote on Johan`s ultra-short thread that i am going to get my nostril pierced, probably my left nostril, can`t wait to wear a nosestud or nosering with my earrings like you do monique!

Once again Sandy, you go girl, i can tell you are really getting into the groove of your sexy bald femininity, and you may get discouraged at times but you have to remember the positives that Johan and others have mentioned! like i said we are sexy ladies who do what we like, we just do it bald!

Love darlings!

Posted By: Johan
Date Posted: Nov 6, 2002 at 2:04pm

Hello Sandra, Jennifer and Carol,

It`s me Monique again.

I`VE GOT GREAT NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just got back from my consultation with the lady who is supposed to be the best electrolysis and laser expert in the midwest, she is in her late 50s and has been doing electrolysis for 35 years. Her electrolysis clininc has the some of the best trained people and best equipment in America.
She told me there is a new type of laser that has been on the market for three years called the YAG laser, that is far better than any other laser they have previously had. She has these YAG lasers at her clinic, and she said she could easily remove my head hair without scarring my head, and that my hair color or complexion is not a problem!
The process would take one year, or perhaps a year and a half, and then I would be completely and permanently bald, and she is willing to do it for me when she understood how much it meant to me. She has done some women`s heads before who had partial alopecia, where most of their hair was gone and they just wanted the rest removed so they wouldn`t have to shave what was left, and she said there was no problem with scaring on them. In fact she said there has never been adverse effects with this type of laser on anyone she has used it on, no matter what part of the body!

Johan didn`t believe me when I first told him today what she had told me, so he called her and talked to her, and I think he is convinced as well! So it looks like I am going to have it done!!! So I will soon be joining the ranks of you permanently bald women!!! I just thank God so much!!!!!!!!!!

I am not doing this lightly, I have thought about it for years. I`m quivering with excitement! I have never felt so feminine and submissive or so close to God, I also feel like I am giving something special to my husband, because he loves me so much smooth and bald, I just want to completely give myself to him! To be permanently smooth and bald for him! I just can`t believe I can actually have this done! I`ve prayed so much for this day! I am going to have it done starting a couple of months after our baby is born, probably sometime in the spring!

I`m sorry I am rambling on, I am just very, very happy!

I love all of you, you are inspirational to me, and may Gods love and grace bless you ladies, and you are always in my prayers!

Monique

Posted By: duke
Date Posted: Nov 6, 2002 at 3:26pm

Monique, why did you post some of your messages
on Johan`s ID?

Posted By: Carol
Date Posted: Nov 6, 2002 at 5:10pm

Duke,
Monique is married to Johan, they use the same computer obviously!

Monique,
A few years ago i would have thought you were crazy to have your hair removed, but i have changed my attitude about this, i accept not only myself better but someone like you makes much more sense to me now. i can feel your excitement over the internet, and i know you want this done, and i know that your husband accepts you and loves you and can appreciate it, so i say do it if that is really what you want to do! especially if it has a deeper spiritual meaning to you.
one thing though, don`t have your eyelashes removed,(which i am sure you had no intention of doing). eyelashes keep little particules out of your eyes, and since i have the most extreme form of alopecia, universalis, i have no hair from head to toe, and the only thing i regret is that i have to wear false eyelashes or protective glasses, otherwise you get little particles in your eyes and your eyes water!

good luck with your decision monique and God be with you too!

Posted By: Bald Jennifer
Date Posted: Nov 6, 2002 at 6:41pm

First of all Monique, CONGRADULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think it is fabulous that you found an experienced person to laser your head!!!!! Some people may think you are very strange and radical to have your head lasered,(I certainly don`t, in my opinion bald women are not as beautiful, we are MORE BEAUTIFUL than most women), but people are having this done, both men and women.Rachel Rosenthal the famous bald Los Angeles woman performance artist, had her head lasered. There is a famous lady cabaret performer in Japan who had her hair permanently removed and has an elaborate tattoo on one side of her bald head. Numerous women who are into body piercing and tattooing are having all of their hair removed, and of course many have head tattoos, you see this all the time in tattoo magazines. I have been told by a ladyfriend of mine from South Korea, that in East Asian countries like Japan, Korea, Hong Kong, Thailand, even in India, that some Buddhist women, and not necessarily nuns, are having their heads lasered! This practice may not be common, but it is growing, and thousands of people, including many women, are having their head hair and often their body hair permanently removed.
Years ago people would never have believed that so many western women would have noserings, or that in the U.S. there are estimated to be more women today with tattoos than men, but these things are happening. Will bald women also become as common as a woman with a nosering or a tattoo? We can only hope so!
You have expressed very sincerely and with all of your heart Monique how much being permanantly bald means to you as a beautiful sensual woman and as a spiritual person.You also have your husbands blessing and love in your quest for bald beauty! You are brave and you are beautiful Monique, I can only once again congradulate you and hope that other women who want to do this have your courage.
All of my love to you, Johan, your daughters and the little one still growing inside you. Best of luck with your laser treatments!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted By: Johan
Date Posted: Nov 6, 2002 at 9:49pm

Beautiful bald ladies,
Thanks for your responses!
My wife has pretty well convinced me she has found a woman who can safely laser her head without problems. I talked to the woman on the phone today, I want to go with my wife and talk to her in person before I give my wife any money to have her hair removed. I did check around however, and this woman is the best in the hair removal business. So it is a possibility!
I like women with all lengths of hair and before I was married I dated several long or medium lengthed haired women as well as short haired women, and I enjoyed all of those ladies. But the bald look to me is the most attractive look on a woman, and if my wife chooses permanent baldness, and it ultimately is her decision, I will be very happy with her decision!
Jennifer you mentioned Rachel Rosenthal the performance artist. I saw her show in Los Angeles years ago, she is unbelievable, it is impossible to describe exactly what she does, but she is fantastic! I always assumed she had alopecia since her head was always so smooth without a trace of stubble and she has always been bald. Interesting to know she had her hair permanently removed. She is a pure renaissance woman, one of the greatest artists of our time. She is not only a performance artist but a sculptor, a painter, a poet, an acting teacher, a writer and philosopher, and on occasion, a political and arts commentator on national television and she always is bald, I have never seen her in a wig except she sometimes wears wigs when she acts in her shows, but even in her shows she is usually bald! She is a true genius equal to Picasso, Stravinsky, Lennon and McCartney or Duke Ellington as far as artists of the past 100 or so years. She is legendary in California, a goddess of the arts world!
And the world of arts and music is so far ahead of the rest of society in regards to not only the acceptance but the leadership of bald women!
Look at all of the famous and fabulous bald women in art, dance and music in the past 25 years.- Rachel Rosenthal, Valerie Buscatto, Me`shell Ndgeocello, Myra Bazell, Sainkho Namtchylak, Gail Ann Dorsey, Joan Jett, Sinead O`Conner, Janice Robinson, even Dolores O`Riordan shaved her head for awhile! And I have just mentioned a few bald women in the arts, there are many more! And most of these women were leaders in thier fields,(even Sinead O`Conner, silly as she sometimes is, topped the charts in America and Europe a few years back). And of course most of these women were in the serious arts or fine arts, and most of them are geniuses! Bald women in the world of the arts are not just making fashion statements, they are the cultural and philosophical leaders, which goes along with my theory that bald women are more artistic, creative and innovative, maybe that is why they wear the bald look! If the rest of society was like the arts world, there would be a bald female president of the U.S., and a bald woman Prime Minister of Britian!
We are making gains though people! Watching the national election results Tuesay night, I noticed that most of the women who won seats in congress, governorships, etc. were relatively young women(30s and 40s in age), attractive, chic dressed women with short hair, some of the hairstyles quite short! The days of older dowdy women with bland homely medium length hairstyles are over in the U.S.. The new woman of achievment in politics or the professions is an attractive, fashionably dressed women with chic short hair! I also see this with the women that ride with the taxicab service I own. This is good news, now they just need to take it one step further and have a few more women with ultra-short hair and bald heads!
I would like it too if a few more of the male politicians wore long hair like I do, but we haven`t had too many of them since the 1980s!
Talk to all of you beautiful bald women later, remember, you are on the cutting edge of fashion and of human creativity! You are the leaders lovely bald ladies!

Posted By: Johan
Date Posted: Nov 6, 2002 at 10:07pm

Sandy,
I talked to a woman today, a customer of ours, who has alopecia totalis.(we also have two bald women who shave their heads that ride with us as well, 3 bald women, not bad for one cab company! I will tell you about them sometime). I mentioned that I had been on a messageboard on the computer and was chatting with a young alopecia totalis woman in England. This lady sometimes attends alopecia meetings here in Minnesota, and she said that she was sure they had alopecia meetings in London where women go and talk with other alopecia men and women, and she thought that other cities in England might have meetings too. If you are in the midlands isn`t the large city of Birmingham in the midlands! Birmingham might have meetings for women,or male and female meetings! I know London has them. London is one of those large world class cities that has everything. If Minneapolis/St. Paul has meetings for alopecia women for sure London would! It might be interesting for you to take the train to London and attend a meeting and see what other people think about modern baldness! Just a suggestion.
Later lovely Sandy!

Posted By: Carol
Date Posted: Nov 8, 2002 at 12:15pm

Ebony,
What janice was complaining about was the problem of "five o`clock shadow" or stubble, which seems to be the common complaint of those who shave their heads(something some of us bald ladies don`t have to worry about!!!). you notice that even though far more men shave their heads than women, it is bald women who are the ones considering hair removal! there may be fewer bald women than men but the women are more passionate about their bald heads!!! intriguing!

Posted By: Johan
Date Posted: Nov 8, 2002 at 6:33pm

Ladies, I`ve coined a phrase for women who have the desire to be permanently bald,"alopecia envy"!
At least my wife is honest about her desire for this.

Posted By: Carol
Date Posted: Nov 8, 2002 at 7:08pm

"Alopecia envy". I love that!

Posted By: Carol
Date Posted: Nov 8, 2002 at 7:13pm

Johan,
i mentioned on your alopecia women thread that i had my nostril pierced today, my left one like your wife, i also had my ears pierced again.i now have two earrings in each ear as well as a nose stud. can`t wait, in a few weeks i can take out my silver steel nosestud and wear any nosestud or nosering i want !

Posted By: Bald Jennifer
Date Posted: Nov 9, 2002 at 12:33pm

Carol,
Your nosering sounds sexy! i don`t have a pierced nostril, but I do have 3 piercings in each ear, although I usually only wear one pair of earrings.
Sometimes though I wear 3 hoops in each ear, larger hoops lower, with smaller hoops in the higher piercings! Also sometimes wear long dangles with two studs in each ear!
JEWLRY IS SUCH A NECESSITY THOUGH!!!ESPECIALLY FOR US!!!! AND SEXY!!!!(sexy on men too Johan!!!!)
But all women, I know, love jewelry!!!!Diamonds are a girls best friend! 14 and 18ct. gold too!!

Everyone is writing in on Sandy`s site, we have kind of stolen it! Sandy, give us a holler, where are you sweetie!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted By: Johan
Date Posted: Nov 9, 2002 at 11:53pm

Beautiful Carol and Bald Jennifer,
You ladies sound so sexy in your jewelry, I can just imagine!
I wouldn`t worry about Sandy too much Jennifer, my guess is she is going out on the town more because you could tell that her confidence was building as she began to realize that she is really a beautiful and sexy woman! She is probably chumming around with some ladyfriends or else she found a guy! She is younger than us and not tied down yet with a spouse and kids so she is probably out having fun!

Posted By: sandy
Date Posted: Nov 10, 2002 at 6:43pm

Hi Johan!
You`re right, I have been chumming around, but no luck on the guy front yet, I`m afraid. Thanks so much for enlightening me on the role played by religion in the US. It`s a subject I had sometimes given thought to, without a great deal of understanding, but you have explained in to me very lucidly, as usual. Now I understand how "The Mob" come to be such God-fearing types! It had never occurred to me how the geography of the US affected its politics and how that fitted in with the role of religion but now it makes much more sense! I have one theory why we Brits are more sceptical, it could be something to do with Northern Ireland and seeing at first hand (via TV anyway) the many awful things committed in the name of religion.
Anyway enough of this heavy stuff. I love your expression "alopecia envy", it lifts my sprits! However though there is another side which I would call alopecia obsession, which is why I`ve kept a low profile for a few days and have had to reluctantly shut down my homepage and close my Yahoo account. I was getting loads of mail, too much to handle. Most offered kind support but I suspected some were obviously from fetishists! Now reading all the testimonies from lovely fellow Baldies Carol, Heidi, Jennifer and Monique has certainly opened my eyes to the sexiness of bald and shaven heads, but some of these guys (I presume they were guys) seemed a bit weird and too personal. So this thread is now my sole contact with the cyber-world, and I`m a lot happier for it.
Nose studs! Now there`s something I hadn`t thought of. Maybe, just maybe.
Monique, I`m so pleased for you that you have found a trustworthy person who will laser your head completely smooth. I can see you will be so happy. A few weeks ago I`d have said you were crazy, but then I hadn`t been awake to the fact that silky heads could be attractive. Johan, I work as a clerk in a worthy but dull office job where the people are so conservative you would have more chance of seeing Elvis Presley than a bald woman. There are two black (Carribean) woman with closely cropped heads which suits them very well, but completely bald - forget it. Meanwhile I`ll be on the lookout for support groups, any further developments I`ll keep you posted.
Bye for now, Johan and all you groovy slap-heads!
(Not sure if that expression has crossed the Pond, it just means baldies)!,$Ahdba

Posted By: Johan
Date Posted: Nov 10, 2002 at 8:22pm

Dear Sandy,
I am not the least bit surprised that you got flooded with e-mail from guys who are extremely attracted to bald women. The problem you have,(and many bald women with alopecia don`t seem to understand this when I see them talking on the public television shows), is not that guys will find you unattractive bald, but that too many guys will find you very attractive! In other words you will be the most popular girl at the dance, a little bit like the girl who has a very large chest. I know men well, being one myself and talking with lots of guys in my cab and elsewhere, there are two types of hairstyles that many men are exceedingly attracted to more than most hairstyles on women. One is ultra-long hair, waist length or longer. The other is ultra-short hair and especially bald women! The extremes appeal to many men, partially because these extremes on women are unusual, partially because they are just very attractive!
Now here is your problem. You won`t have any problem finding guys who are attracted to your bald look, you just have the task of sorting out all the guys that really don`t care to know you as a person, that are purely fetish people that just want to be with you for sexual kicks but have no intention of really loving you or developing a good relationship, you have to seperate out those guys from a guy who is a decent loving responsible guy who just happens to be really attracted to bald women. In other words, there is nothing wrong with a guy who has a preference, or even a fetish for bald women, if he also really wants to get to know you as a person and appreciate all aspects of you, as a woman and as a human being!
Because of your bald head, and because it is so attractive to many men, you are a little bit like the big chested woman, or the woman who is unusually pretty, you are a bit of a guy magnet! If you are careful with this, you can meet, I am sure, some very cool guys, but if you aren`t careful, you will meet some guys that will just use you, and have no interest in you as a person!
By the way, there are women that also have fetishes or strong preferences. I get some dirty looks on occasion from men and women because of my long hair, but there are some women that have a fetish for guys with long hair as well. I have even had women come up to me on the street and start careesing my hair and kissing me, and they don`t even know me! This can be fun, it can also be annoying, depending on what the woman looks like and what kind of mood I`m in. This doesn`t happen to me often, but it does happen!
But you are different now Sandy, that is good and that is bad! Of course I am one of these guys that adores bald women so to me it is good, but I also respect women as people and enjoy talking to women, reading what women have to say etc.. I enjoy women as complete women and on a human level as well as just sexually. Any grown up man who is intelligent and has a well rounded, balanced personality should respect women as people as well as just for sensuality and sex. It should be both. And the same for women with men!
But as I believe you are obviously learning Sandy, your baldness makes you special, for good and bad, but I think you know now that many men, contrary to an outdated myth, love women with very short hair or who are bald! It is to your advantage being a beautiful bald woman , but be careful and date only guys that also want to get to know you as a person! And associate with classy people. I don`t necessarily mean rich people moneywise, but people who have class as people, who you can enjoy being with. I can tell by your writings that you are more intelligent than most, and you are also more attractive than most women, which means you can have a very interesting life if you play your cards right!
Sincerely and with much love,
Johan

Posted By: Johan
Date Posted: Nov 10, 2002 at 8:41pm

I would also like to thank you Sandy, and the other women who have written in, for being supportive of my wife, I know she is in some ways different, and she knows that, but then again we are all a little different, and being a little bit unique isn`t bad if you are a good person!
I also meant what I said Sandy, the fact that your bald look is so attractive to many people won`t necessarily make your life easier, but I can just tell, and this would be true even if you weren`t bald and beautiful, you are an exceptional lady. I can tell by your writing that you are very intelligent and have a mature grown up personality, I just believe you are going to have a very interesting life!

Posted By: linda
Date Posted: Nov 11, 2002 at 1:22pm

Hi everyone,

It is nice that you have written ti us Monique, you are a very interesting woman, and it seems like Sandy said that you are destined to be a bald woman. If I had hair, but I loved being bald and and wanted to stay that way, the permanent removal of your hair is logical considering the problems of head shaving like nicks, "five O`clock shadow", hairs that are ingrown,etc.

At this time, it is mostly the tatto/body modification/body piercing crowd that is getting into hair removal on all parts of the body, including the head, but that could change as some "mainstream" women decide for the permanent bald look, and Johan is right, it will be women artists types who are starting the trend. They are always in the lead on such things.

Johan is right Sandy you have much going for you, too bad some creeps emailed you because some of the men who mailed might have been real gentlemen, but everything in it`s own time, we meet people when we are supposed to, things just happen!

I`m getting to be a fat bald woman, but by early March or so we should have our new edition, I just hope the baby is healthy, and the same for you and Monique, Johan.

I am going shopping today, looking for headscarves and earrings, I haven`t been shopping much at all lately so I am looking forward to it!!1

My love to all of you , and I will write you a little later on!

bald Linda

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