Totally baffling
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Printed Date: Dec 26, 2024 at 9:12am
Topic: Totally baffling
Posted By: anne6000 Subject: Totally baffling Date Posted: Jun 15, 2006 at 11:38am
One thing that I've constantly been told by people (especially stylists) is that men are more attracted to women with short hair because the short hair defies the traditional definition of femininity, so that means that the woman is more confident and daring. Although I don't agree, I suppose in theory, it may make sense.
However, in practice, think about the vast majority of women you see in public places like grocery stores, doctor's offices, driver's license places, and things like that. What length of hair do the majority of women (at least in the US) have? I've traveled the US from each coast and have been to many places. Completely objectively, I can say that the vast majority of women (not counting teenage girls, who do tend to have longer hair) have hair above collar length. Short hair IS the norm in society. I'm not criticizing that, but I'm just making an observation.
So, how can people say that short hair makes a woman appear more daring and self-confident when not only do the majority of women have that short hair, but almost every guy I know seems to prefer long hair on women?
I know that the statement was said to me in an effort to convince me to cut my hair, but I've also read the same thing in various places about how men are attracted to women with short hair because of the "confident" factor.
Yet, I just do not see that at all. Does anyone else?
What prompted this post is that yesterday, I had a treat and had a manicure at a salon. The manicurist, also a stylist, had short hair, not ultra short, but just regular short, like most women. My appointment had nothing to do with hair, yet out of the blue she made the comment. Why? Was she envious of my longer hair (my hair isn't even that long!)? Or, did she think that my hair was inappropriate for my age?
I'm really baffled by the comments linking short hair with confidence and daring. Since most women have short hair, it seems to me that the people with long hair (especially guys!) are the more confident and daring ones.
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Replies: 51 Posted By: anne6000
Date Posted: Jun 15, 2006 at 11:38am
One thing that I've constantly been told by people (especially stylists) is that men are more attracted to women with short hair because the short hair defies the traditional definition of femininity, so that means that the woman is more confident and daring. Although I don't agree, I suppose in theory, it may make sense.
However, in practice, think about the vast majority of women you see in public places like grocery stores, doctor's offices, driver's license places, and things like that. What length of hair do the majority of women (at least in the US) have? I've traveled the US from each coast and have been to many places. Completely objectively, I can say that the vast majority of women (not counting teenage girls, who do tend to have longer hair) have hair above collar length. Short hair IS the norm in society. I'm not criticizing that, but I'm just making an observation.
So, how can people say that short hair makes a woman appear more daring and self-confident when not only do the majority of women have that short hair, but almost every guy I know seems to prefer long hair on women?
I know that the statement was said to me in an effort to convince me to cut my hair, but I've also read the same thing in various places about how men are attracted to women with short hair because of the "confident" factor.
Yet, I just do not see that at all. Does anyone else?
What prompted this post is that yesterday, I had a treat and had a manicure at a salon. The manicurist, also a stylist, had short hair, not ultra short, but just regular short, like most women. My appointment had nothing to do with hair, yet out of the blue she made the comment. Why? Was she envious of my longer hair (my hair isn't even that long!)? Or, did she think that my hair was inappropriate for my age?
I'm really baffled by the comments linking short hair with confidence and daring. Since most women have short hair, it seems to me that the people with long hair (especially guys!) are the more confident and daring ones. 0- Ai
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Posted By: DaveDecker
Date Posted: Jun 17, 2006 at 12:12pm
Oh Anne... the subject line is "exhibit A" of the cognitive dissonance sown by your stylist...
Always bear in mind that stylists have potential conflicts of interest. Their job, quite literally, is to convince people to part with their money (the more you part with, the better for them). This is not intended to be an indictment of stylists in general, just a precaution that the things they tell you may have more to do with them keeping their eye on their personal "bottom line" than to do with being truthful.
The only evidentiary study I'm aware of (regarding men's preference for women's hair length) was performed at Florida State University. Here's a link to it (go to page 4 of the PDF):
http://www.psychology.sunysb.edu/psychology/news/newsletter/newsletter5.pdf
Most (but not all) of the men I have talked with on the subject prefer long hair to short; and mostly mid-back to waist-length, or longer. I've only known (or known of) a few men who prefer short hair on women. There are certainly fans of short hair in the Short Hair forum, and some also participate in the Celebrities forum.
There are probably a few men who like women being defiant, but I think there are lots of men who like strong women. There is a difference.
I don't understand your stylist's comments. Why would men prefer women to defy traditional definitions of femininity? Aside from their personalities, men like women that look attractive - and for most men, long hair definitely enhances a woman's appearance.
In general, I think people are more daring and self-confident when they don't feel pressured to do something they don't want to do. If you want long hair and don't feel attractive with it short, then you will probably be more daring and self-confident with long hair.
One more thing - the notion of long hair being inappropriate for "older" people is a myth. I know of many women who are in their 40's and beyond who have beautiful long, long hair -- and they look great.
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Posted By: anne6000
Date Posted: Jun 18, 2006 at 9:59am
Dear Dave,
I'll try to sum up my feelings about what you wrote here....you are brilliant, I love you, you are incredibly astute, you are my god....!!
Sorry, I don't want to embarrass you, and yes, I know you're just as human as the rest of us, but you really do have an insight that is so refreshing to those of us who live in the generic world where what is thrown out at us is just supposed to be absorbed without any real thought.
I'll be the first to say (and I honestly think you'd say the same thing) that any woman who really loves short hair all by herself, without any coaxing from anyone, should of course keep her hair cut short. It's her hair, and she should do what she wants with it! However, I just feel that there are so many different ways (with my example about the "daring" women with short hair in my above post) that women (and I can't imagine the pressure you, as a man, have to endure) are told that they just shouldn't have long hair, especially past a certain age.
Thank you very much for that study! It's just what I thought and although I realize that not every man loves long hair on a woman, the majority do.
There are probably a few men who like women being defiant, but I think there are lots of men who like strong women. There is a difference. |
I think you're very keen with this statement, and I couldn't agree more.
I don't understand your stylist's comments. Why would men prefer women to defy traditional definitions of femininity? |
I think the reasoning is that the woman is just supposed to be so ultra confident of her femininity that all her other areas of personality overshadow the fact that she's wearing short hair, traditionally seen as unfeminine. Oddly enough, though, I've never seen a woman "that feminine" that fit that description.
One more thing - the notion of long hair being inappropriate for "older" people is a myth. I know of many women who are in their 40's and beyond who have beautiful long, long hair -- and they look great. |
I don't have a Swiss bank account, but when I do, you'll be the first one with the key and password! I don't want to gush, but I just can't tell you how wonderful it is to hear your viewpoint. I know that a lot of women here share it, and I appreciate it, but it just seems somehow stronger coming from someone who isn't in that situation (naturally, a woman who is over 40 and has long hair is going to agree, and it isn't that her opinion is any less valid than anyone else, but hopefully you know what I'm trying to say here)
Thanks for everything, Dave, and all the other great people here.
0- Ai
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Posted By: Tyranna
Date Posted: Jun 19, 2006 at 2:01pm
Dave is correct - most stylists are short-hair biased because shorter hairstyles provide for them (1) a better guarantee for return customers; and (2) an easier job to perform. There are many stylists that see working and shaping longer styles simply as too much work. (Stylist Nick on that TV show 'What Not to Wear' is exactly like this. He can be quite excellent at shaping and improving longer hair, but he ALWAYS prefers to cut the hair instead.)
And shorter hair styles means less time in the styling chair for you and more turnaround time for customers for the hair stylist, which means more $$$.
The majority of guys I have known in my entire life prefer longer hair on women. Anna Kournukova for example, would not have ever become an international beauty sensation had she worn her hair really short. Healthy long hair definitely has an exotic appeal.
I honestly do not know where this idea that a woman with long hair has self-esteem issues came from. Besides, I would say the majority of fashion models and actresses these days all have longer hair.
And I do not think that short hair should be considered the "norm". My impression is that I see women (and girls) with all kinds of variety in hair length. And this is a good thing. Freedom of choice is always better than having only one alternative. If you look at a period |
Posted By: Kuroneko
Date Posted: Jun 19, 2006 at 11:40pm
Based on what I've seen, the usual hair length for American women is anywhere between shoulder-length and mid-back, which is far from short. A lot of women keep their hair long because they think that's what men are attracted to.
In all honesty, though, aside from the guys who are specifically hair fans, most guys probably don't care what a woman's hair looks like. Most of them won't notice of care much if their woman changes her hair, because men just aren't societally trained to notice that kind of thing. It's just like how a guy won't notice if a woman is wearing a new blouse-- males are societally trained not to care about anything fashion-related. ! % Aaebade d !, ` . 4``
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Posted By: Merlin101
Date Posted: Jun 29, 2006 at 9:13am
It seems Anne6000 brings up the same question frequently asked in these forums. What do men really like about women and their hair? I would say that men can be divided into three groups. Long hair lovers, short hair lovers and "I don't care as long as they are gorgeous" lovers. As far as beauty and sex appeal are concerned, I could care less. I don't pay attention to polls or University studies because they are flawed from conception. Most polls are biased and select their audience and participants based upon the desired result. Further, men will cover their true feelings if their identity is known as they fear being labeled. We are conditioned from early youth that long hair, large breast, hourglass figure is the only acceptable form of sexual attractiveness. I honestly say that I see women with short hair or ultrashort hair as more confident and independent. This does not mean that this is true for all women, just a general observation. This attitude appeals to me due to the person I am.
Some people choose their profession, mine chose me. As a musician, I prefer independent, confident, non-traditional women. At least in my experience, short haired girls fit this mold more often than long haired girls. Short haired girls are definitely more of a challenge and are more daring. The long-haired girls I meet are predictably traditional down home girls. What is really interesting is that they believe they are daring and party girls, but generally speaking, they don't even have a clue. For the evening, give me either. For a relationship, give me the short haired girls! !! `abadq a ,(40` )2$`b /4$ -$ %$, ,%$ `` .$
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Posted By: anne6000
Date Posted: Jun 29, 2006 at 11:18am
[QUOTE=Merlin101]
[quote] As a musician, I prefer independent, confident, non-traditional women. [/quote]
Regarding hair length, a non-traditional woman is one with long hair in western society. So, there is a contradiction in what you say. And that contradiction is what I'm questioning. I sense you feel threatened by the question, and I'm very sorry because I'm only trying to understand the reasoning of seeing a "non-traditional" girl as one who has short hair, when short hair is the average or the norm (among adult women, not teenagers)
And yet, no one can explain this; that's why it must be a fallacy.
0- Ai
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Posted By: Merlin101
Date Posted: Jun 30, 2006 at 7:20am
I'm not sure where you live or which age group you are referring to, but down South, the under 40 group is heavily weighted to long hair and has been since the 80's era. This is the age group I see the most since we don't play country or gospel. I would have to say the same for Hollywood as well. We haven't toured the west coast in a year or so, but I'll bet things haven't changed.
Now if you are referring to the over 60 group, you are right on. Short hair dominates. !! `abadq a ,(40` )2$`b /4$ -$ %$, ,%$ `` .$
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Posted By: anne6000
Date Posted: Jun 30, 2006 at 9:29am
If you're judging a general population only by the audience at a music concert, then I can understand! Take a look around. Go to the grocery store, to the bank, to your local gym, and just look at the population in general. There's no doubt that short rules. TV news reporters rarely have long hair (it isn't "professional" you know). As for Hollywood, look at a magazine for "celebrity hair" the next time you're at a magazine rack. Lots and lots of celebs with short or very short hair. A woman with long hair, especially very long hair, will always stand apart from the crowd. I mean no offense at all, but short hair just blends in with the crowd because that's how the crowd usually wears their hair -- both men and women. There's nothing wrong with that, but that's what provoked my original question. 0- Ai
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Posted By: DaveDecker
Date Posted: Jul 1, 2006 at 1:44pm
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