Un-cut Hair

Hello

Recently I have been exploring the idea of leaving my hair un-cut for the rest of my life.

I sought and found inspiration in many cultures, religions, etc. However, as a modern woman living in the big city and working for a global corporation, the choice of un-cut hair is controversial.

I am committed to NEVER letting a sissor near my hair again. I never use heat on it, always protect it from the elements and cherish it.

Is there anyone out there who has also made this choice?
What are your reasons?
How long have you been letting your hair grow? What responses have you had from others?
Do you ever forsee cutting it...why?

Uzma (curious and un-cut)

Hey, Uzma! Kudos to ya- you`re very bold for deciding to do that. ITs a shame that we live in these `modern` cultures where that kind of free expression is looked down upon. I agree with Gary (above)- since you`ve gone thru so much personal trouble to grow your hair out,, and if its what you really want to do, then go for it! Hope your hair grows long & beautiful, and don`t let anyone`s criticism ruin the happiness you get from it. Its none of their business, anyway!
Love, Ingrid :) :)

Hi Gary
Good to hear from you and thanks for the encouragement. Hope you are well. Hope to send you some pics of me in partywear at Christmas time - would like your comments...maybe you`ll tell me I look like a man in drag (lol).......

Hey there Inga
Thanks for your nice comments and support. read your post about the positive comments from your bro`. Wow - now there`s a RESULT. Lots of love to you.

Anyone out there who is going to join me in my (as one friend put it) "Quest for the Hairy Grail?

Uzzeee

Cool idea. Good luck. Don`t worry about conformist pressure. It`s trash
and ignoble.

Hey Uzma!
Just wonderin` how your hair is coming along...long, flowing & beautiful I hope!!!! Has your mother laid off on you about it yet? Just curious.
Lotsa Love,
Inga

Hi Inga

My mother is not "off my case" ....she has changed tactics (and I`m quite enjoying it).

SHE IS BUYING STUFF FOR MY HAIR!!!!

She bought me an absolutely gorgeous diamante clip last week and yesterday when I visited her she bought me a really expensive and very beautiful antique slide for when it`s longer.

My initial reaction was "o my God, I`ve become her personal `dress-up doll`" but it`s actually quite OK because I think this is her way of showing concern for her now mentally ill daughter (lol).

We went to a charity ball the other day and I wore a beaded see-thru black lace jacket with a skimpy, clingly top underneath (very fem) and heels,etc. My hair was pinned back and I wore the diamante clip she had bought me. I had a LOT of compliments, most within my mother`s hearing as to the positive transformation in my appearance (incl.hair) and I could see her beaming with pride.

She`s still fairly shocked but at least the hostility is over.

Mom`s no longer the problem. What is more worrying is that I am being harassed by a guy at work...anyway that`s another story.

What`s happened in your life, Inga?
The event I last recall was your brother making a positive comment on your new short hairstyle, at a family dinner.
Has your mother softened up at all?
Have you spoken to her about your feelings?
I would be interested to know her ongoing responses.

Take care and bye for now.

Love

Uzma

Oops. Forgot to tell you about how my hair is looking these days.
I think it`s a bit weird.
It`s almost shoulder-length, which is very far off being long and flowing.
The underlayer of my hair is wavy and the top layer is curly and getting curlier as ot grows.
It frizzes on wet days, even if the rain doesn`t fall on it directly. When I had short hair I thought it was straight - but I guess because I always had layers, I couldn`t really tell.
My hair is very dry and coarse and the individual strands are thick - so I have to mega-condition it.

Getting excellent results with Kerastase bain satin 3 shampoo, Phytokarite conditioner, PhytoDefrissant relaxer and Phyto 9 leave-in conditioner. Also taking HF-37.
Hair has softened up and is straighter when I use the PhytoDefrissant (thank God for that product).

Because I am growing out layers and my hair is it`s natural colour (salt & pepper), when I leave it loose it swishes about and has a wild appearance which I enjoy (it goes with the attitue lol). I like the uniqueness of my hair.

Everyone adds their own colour to the tapestry of life. I absolutely abhor the inflences that want us all to be the same, think the same and deny our innermost and outermost selves their true and full expression.

Love

Uzma

William.

Hmmm. That`s an angle I hadn`t considered.
I`ll certainly think about it. Thanks.
He`s not my diamond - he`s married with a couple of kids - but I guess he could just be going through a strange phase/be lonely/need reassurance that he still has what it takes, etc.

OK. I won`t "show claws" as long as he doesn`t touch me again.
If he does, no more nice girl.

Best regards

Uzma

PS: What happened to chivalry? Why are guys on the take all the time? I would MAKE time for any man who treated me with honour and respect.

Hey Uzma! Good to hear from ya!
Wierd stuff about your mom...I guess she got the point! :) Or is she scheming in some other way? Who knows with mothers, right? Either way, I`m happy to hear that she`s being supportive- that was really sweet of her to buy you that stuff. Sounds like your hair is looking good. If its kinda wild and wavy now, then it`ll look great once its longer. Wild, untamed long hair is super-sexy, and hey, if it gets a little hard to deal with sometimes, just remember the happiness it gives you & the effort you`ve gone through to grow it out! :) :)
Don`t want to talk too soon, but it sounds like a victory to me :) :) :)
What`s the deal with this guy at your work? Married with kids? What did he say or do to you, anyway (if you want to tell)? Well, he may be harmless, but any guy who would betray his vows and his children has proven himself untrustworthy. That`s a wierd situation; you don`t want to be cruel or catty with someone, but sometimes if you`re even a little bit nice to them they think its some kind of invitation. I dont know the specifics, but be kinda careful- I`m no expert but it seems like guys can sometimes get really nasty if they feel rejected or shamed. Good luck with all of that & be careful, OK? (sorry I don`t want to scare ya or anything like that, but you never know from people....)
Anyway, things have been kinda up & down with me. On the good side, I cut my hair again, a little bit shorter. I dance with the school dance team & on my own, and it kept getting in my eyes since it is too short to put up- I like it a lot tho. Its really short! Now I can pull it back with a hand band or with tiny butterfly clips & keep it off my face.
My mom hasn`t nagged on me about it- she actually said it was `cute` when I came home from the salon. I dont know if she was being honest or not, but it was a lot better than "You look like a boy!". Still, yesterday we got some pictures of me & my brothers developed; they were from when I still had long hair, and she said "See, look how pretty you were with long hair." Ugh! Oh well. For the most part, she`s backed off, which is good cuz I`m pretty tight with my mom & it kinda hurts when she rags on me about stuff like that (we were always close & always talk about `girlie` stuff- kind of our refuge from my all-too-manly father & brothers).
On the bad side, I broke up with my b/f (got dumped, to be honest) :( :( It would be stupid to say its cuz I cut my hair, but I know that he hated it short & thought I wasn`t as pretty without it. I`ve been kinda heartbroken & blue the last couple of days- locked in my room & writing depressing poetry and stuff. Don`t want to whine or anything, but I`m sad; I thought we were good together :( I`m not sure why he did it, but I know there are other girls that he`s been eyeing for a while; he says that I was `to emotional and serious` for him, & he `just wants to have fun`. *Whine!*:(
Anway, enough of that! I know what you mean by the lack of chivalry. I`m sure there are really good guys out there; ones who will appreciate such ravishing, charming beauties as us! (Hehehehehe!)
Ok, I gotta go now. Thanks for writing and stuff & thanks to anyone else who took their time to read this!
Take care, Uzma!
Lotsa lotsa Love (or as they say over in your part of the world, Cheers!)
Inga :)

Inga Honey

I`m so sorry to hear about your break up.
I hear this kind of thing all the time - a lot of guys in London have become really fickle and don`t seem to realise or care how they hurt others.
We girls call them "players".
Everything seems to be going well in the relationship and you would never know that they are just tagging you along until they catch the next unsuspecting woman.
I guy I was seeing for 9 years left me for a another girl. They broke up after 10 days and he wanted to come back, but I wouldn`t have him. It really hurt bad because I had given this person so much love, space, nurturing, consideration, care - not to mention a fair bit of money. I think maybe I gave too much. Anyway, I`m a lot older and possibly wiser now - and there are some major rules I have learnt - No.1 being "hold-back" - don`t give anyone everything. No.2 being "love yourself more than you love him". I could go on....

Oh Inga. Please don`t be so sad. You were his girlfriend in good faith and he can`t take that away from you. You remained honorable and faithful - these are first-class virtues. He will have to bear the burden of his actions and account for them one day, along with the hurt he has caused. More fool him if he thinks he can have his "fun" making others suffer.

I wish I could magic your pain away, but I`m afraid it`s part of the growing process of life. You`ll be more resilient and cautious in future, I`m sure. My advice is to be selective. You are a treasure - make sure it is a Hero who wins you and not a thief who steals you. Your ex was not worthy of you.

I am sending you a huge hug and a big big kiss.

Lots of love

Uzma

Uzma-
Thanks so much! You`re wonderful & supportive & I really appreciate it! I never thought that heartbreak could hurt so much, but there are people like you out there who know what its like and can just be a friend if its needed. I know this is supposed to be a hair-related board and we`re kinda falling off the subject, but I`m happy you were here. Funny how someone you meet on a message board online can make you feel better than your closest friends & family (they`ve been great but nobody said anything as inspiring as you!)
Yeah, it still hurts bad- he was my first real boyfriend & altho I`m not naive enough to think that it was `meant to be` or that we`d be together forever (I wish fairy tales were true but theyre not), I was, and am, in love with him. Actually, I was long before we ever got together. It seems like every memory I have of the last year and a half since we first met has him in it, and it feels wierd and bleak knowing that he won`t be in the ones that are being made right now. (Did that even make sense?)
You`re right tho- I didn`t do anything wrong, he did. Its hard to remember that & believe it, but I`ll try.
Again, thanks soooooo much for caring, Uzma, and thanks for all of your encouragement and support and...crap, I`m gonna get teary again. Just thanks, OK?
I sending you back a big huge hug!
Lotsa love,
Inga :) :)

P.S. Sorry to everybody else for getting personal & off the subject- y`know how it goes.....

uzma-
this really is a wonderful idea! you have the best chance of reaching the longest length if it goes uncut. just make sure you don`t put your hair`s beauty in jeopardy( don`t leave horrible damage on the bottom just because you don`t want to cut it- because that damage can travel up the hair shaft). also, to keep your hair the healthiest:
invest in a satin or silk pillowcase/ satin head wrap for when you sleep because it will prevent breakage. use deep conditioning treatments if necessary and be very gentle with your combing and shampooing. GOOD LUCK to you, i hope you all the best and make sure to keep us updated on how it is going. when the damaged parts of my hair grows out( from health problems - there are only a few more inches left to go) i am surely going to try to not trim my hair unless it is COMPLETELY necessary. a couple of years ago i never would trim my hair and it looked great... and was quite long!:)

hey uzma, i was wondering: in your first post you said that you found inspiration in different cultures and religions... could you give examples? i would love to hear about it. Thanks:)

Turquoise Girl-
Good luck growing your hair out! Hope it gets to be as long & flowing & beautiful as you could possibly wish!:)

Ingrid

well thank you very much ingrid!

Dear Turquoise Girl

Thank you for your encouragement.
I am trying to take the best care of my hair

One more gorgeous web-site with hair customs/styles from different time-periods and cultures:

http://www.erasofelegance.com/hairstyles.html

cool, thanks. i especially enjoyed reading the sikh.net one. very interesting. thank you for your good wishes, back at ya! keep us posted with your progress:)

Uzma-
Thanks for the interesting links! I really enjoyed the Eras of Ellegance link...I`m into history & past culture, etc., so I loved it! :)

Love,
Ingrid

Uzma,
I congradulate you on your brave and interesting decision to grow your hair as long as it can grow. A year ago I had hair past my waist, but my hair was thin, tangled easily, and I decided to get it cut. It also takes an extraordinary amount of time and energy to really care for hair that long.
It was fun having hair that long though. Best of luck and have a happy New Year!

Thank you Maria.

The tangling thing is starting to happen already - I wake up every morning looking like Medusa with a head full of writhing snakes (lol).
Still, there is a certain wild charm to it.
I guess I`m in love with my hair, or totally obsessed...whatever...so I tolerate and even celebrate it`s foibles.

How short did you go?
Did you have to adjust to the new style - psychologically, I mean? Did people start treating you differently in anyway?
I would be interested to know........

And a Happy New Year to you, too.

Best regards

Uzma

Hi Uzma,
I got my hair cut a year ago out of frustration and depression, I had broken up with a guy and I just went to the beauty salon and had it cut. I had it cut initially in a short bob cut and then a week later went back and had it cut in a short pixie. Quite a change going from hair past my waist to a short pixie!
I really missed my long hair,I cried some tears, but I did get compliments on my new look(you look cute, adorable, that sort of thing), and many of my girlfriends and women co-workers wear their hair short, which helped.
Two months after I got my hair cut short I met a guy who is really good to me, a handsome, loving man who I really love, and that really helped too. We are getting married this May.
I have done other things also to compensate for my lack of hair. I always dress feminine, I always wear makeup, I got my ears pierced again, I wear two earrings in each ear, and I have a pierced left nostril and I wear a nosestud. I bought some beautiful new skirts and dresses. I actually feel very feminine!
I go in once a month for a trim to keep my pixie looking good and not shaggy. It is actually quite short now, the shortest I have worn my hair, my pixie really isn`t much longer than a crewcut, but I have gotten used to the style, and after the initial shock of not having long hair wore off, and the tears dried up, I have to say I really like my new short hairstyle.
I can see why you want to wear your hair long though Uzma I still love looking at long hair on both men and women, it is wonderful!
I say , you go girl, if you really want exceptionally long hair and you feel you have the right hair for it,(I really didn`t , my hair was too thin), grow it as long as you like! that sounds like fun Uzma!

Happy New Year, and enjoy your long hair!

how long is your hair now uzma?

Hello Turquoise Girl

Thanks for your interest.

My hair is now shoulder-length and growing fast.
Its black with silver streaks (naturally) - my 5 year old neice keeps saying "you have glitter in your hair".
It has loose waves in it but has a tendency to dry frizzy on the day I wash it.
Its strange the way it looks - unusual, having it`s own unique combination of characteristics. It looks and feels unlike I had imagined it would.

I am toying with the idea of having a series of black & white art photographs taken of it (and my self) as it is growing out. Like a sort of testimony to my "peaking femininity" - well I`m in my thirties now so everything will head south soon - I`ll need something to cheer me up on a cold wet afternoon ......


Take care TG.

Love

Uzma

Hey Uzma! Sounds like your hair-growing experience is going well :). How`s things with your mom? Has she made any more of a fuss about it lately? Just wondering....

Lotsa Love (& Cheers)
Inga:)


PS- BEAUTIFUL quote.....The Song of Songs again?