Hair Politics - Guys with traditionaly feminine styles

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Guys with traditionaly feminine styles

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Category: Hair Talk
Forum Name: Hair Politics
Forum Description: The politics of Hair is a slippery slope...
URL: /forum_posts.php?TID=8316
Printed Date: Sep 19, 2024 at 6:09pm

Topic: Guys with traditionaly feminine styles

Posted By: Jamie
Subject: Guys with traditionaly feminine styles
Date Posted: Jan 11, 2000 at 8:42pm

I would like to know what everyone thinks about guys that like to wear longer styles that were and mostly still are considered to be feminine/girls hairstyles. In todays society where women have crew cuts and buzzcuts why is a guy still looked down upon for taking good care of his hair and having it cut and styled in a more feminine style like a bob with bangs. I love the bob style and I currently have a bob that is just below my ears with slight layering and bangs that reach my eyes. I keep getting looks and stares from people and get told that I have a girls hairstyle. It looks great to me and even my stylist said (honestly) that this bob style was right for my face shape etc and that she thought that it looked great. So why is there a double standard in hairstyles? Girls can wear short masculine styles without a second look or thought from people, but guys are bashed for wearing longer, prettier, feminine styles even though the style fits their features and looks great. I don't understand, but I love my hair and I want to grow it into a near shoulder length bob that I can turn under at the ends, pull back in accessories and change the style around but I am hesitant because of what others think. What is a guy to do?

-------------
Jamie :)

Replies: 59

Posted By: Jamie
Date Posted: Jan 11, 2000 at 8:42pm

Posted By: Serena
Date Posted: Jan 11, 2000 at 8:42pm

Personally, I think there are a lot of feminine hairstyles that look good on guys. I think guys who are somewhat femine are more attractive than ultra-masculine guys. I mean, how many women do you see swooning over Arnold what's-his-name (the terminatator guy)? But most guys seem repulsed by the idea of being at all feminine or being called so by their male peers. I say, "what's so bad about guys being feminine?", but most men disagree with this. I think a big reason for the double standard is that there is more homophobia and gender policing amoung men than amoung women. Most guys cling fiercly to their concept of masculinity while most women don't care if someone tells them they look like a boy. And women did not win their privileges easily. Girls in the 60's were sent home from school for wearing pants. Essentially, you just have to remember that you know you look good and ignore what other's say until society catches on and becomes more accepting. One more thing: Jade21 is right that there are still a lot of things about which women are looked down upon including crew cuts, body hair, and facial hair.

Posted By: Jamie
Date Posted: Jan 11, 2000 at 8:42pm

Jade,If you dropped me a line and I did not respond I apologize. I was not only referring to crewcuts necessarily. In general the lengths of womens hairstyles has shortened over the last 20 years and more women are wearing styles that are boyish (short crops and the like). I agree that some women still get looks for crew cuts, but I think that is in part because they reflect a more masculine image overall. I mean if someone like Pamela Anderson had a crew cut I don't think that anyone would mistake her for being masculine or dikish (could that be a word?). I appreciate the support. I do love my hair in a bob and I take very good care of it. I like the flexibility of a bob because you can change things around. You know, regular, tucked behind the ears, part on different sides or in the middle, and when I feel daring pull my bangs back in a barrette or in a hairband. Again, thanks for the encouraging words. If you have any suggestions or comments please drop me a line.Thanks,Jamie> I have to disagree with you that women with> "masculine" hairstyles don't get second> looks from people. I know the crew cut well. I live> not too far from the Pentagon. I also know a few girls> with the cut. They have gotten stares and rude> comments galore. In addition, I was with a group of my> friends in Georgetown not long ago and the one of the> girls had a crew cut and another a modified> "fade" with a somewhat "feminine"> twist. Some people on the street and in a restaurant> called these women dikes. Such ugliness!> As far as bobs and other traditional female cuts on> males, it's the same. You are something different and> people can't always take that. I have known a couple> of guys with bobs who had beautiful hair. However, for> them, it was merely a transition cut to longer hair.> Homophobia is rampant in our society. People make> erroneous assumptions and rude comments everyday.> Personally, if you like the haircut, keep it:)> Bye for now,> Jade21> P.S. Didn't I drop you a note a while back? Shame on> you for not responding:)> I would like to know what everyone thinks about guys!-) (!

Posted By: Jamie
Date Posted: Jan 11, 2000 at 8:42pm

Serena,I agree that there are many feminine styles that would look good on guys as well as girls. You are also right about the feminine guys part. I will admit that I am a little feminine and I really admire women/girls for their femininity. Guys like me are much more caring, understanding, loving, and compassionate. All of these qualities should be instilled in all people. I love being a little fem. I think that most guys shed away from femininity because of 2 reasons: 1)They are afraid that women will not like them as much therefore not date, marry, or have sex with them. 2)Because all men were trained from birth to be tough, even though many aren't really inside, they are afraid of rejection by their male friends. I must applaud the girls/women who fought for equality. I would like to be able to wear skirts and dresses because they are so comfortable but... I think that people should accept people for who they are not what their hair looks like or whether they prefer to be with them same sex. I have to say it.. I wish that as far a hair, makeup, and clothes go I wish that men were treated equal to women. I could go on but I will wait to hear from you again.thanks,Jamie> Personally, I think there are a lot of feminine> hairstyles that look good on guys. I think guys who> are somewhat femine are more attractive than> ultra-masculine guys. I mean, how many women do you> see swooning over Arnold what's-his-name (the> terminatator guy)? But most guys seem repulsed by the> idea of being at all feminine or being called so by> their male peers. I say, "what's so bad about> guys being feminine?", but most men disagree with> this. I think a big reason for the double standard is> that there is more homophobia and gender policing> amoung men than amoung women. Most guys cling fiercly> to their concept of masculinity while most women don't> care if someone tells them they look like a boy. And> women did not win their privileges easily. Girls in> the 60's were sent home from school for wearing pants.> Essentially, you just have to remember that you know> you look good and ignore what other's say until> society catches on and becomes more accepting. One> more thing: Jade21 is right that there are still a lot> of things about which women are looked down upon> including crew cuts, body hair, and facial hair.!-) (!

Posted By: Erica
Date Posted: Jan 11, 2000 at 8:42pm

You sound just like a living Ken doll! LOL I'm sure your hair is beautiful, and I hope you are happy with your decision.> Jamie,> I can totally empathise with you. For years I was made> fun of for my feminine features and when I decided to> grow out my hair a bit in high school it only added to> the name calling and such. Teachers would tell me how> beautiful my hair was, but peers would ask me why it> was so long. (it was only just at the tip of my ear,> so not really long, but to them I guess it was).> Anyway, it even started getting a bit wavy and curly> and you can imagine the name "pretty boy"> came up a lot. I remember guys would come up to me and> try to pull it out! Anyway, I got it cut and while I> regretted it I became even more popular because of> this new chic look. I was the first to have hair that> short in my school, and it looked really good, but you> know what? the pretty boy comments didnt' stop. Well I> grew it out again and it became somewhat wavy, then I> would have people stop me on the street and ask me> where I got it permed. Even my mom and other relatives> would be sceptical. But it was all natural! Anyway, I> couldn't take the sneers any longer and as I was going> through a diffucult time in my life I cut it off> again, and again, and again, today , at 20 I realize> that my hair looks best medium to longer length, and I> feel most comfortable, so I've decided once again to> grow it out. I dont' care if I'm going to look like a> Hitler poster boy with the blue eyed blond hair combo,> I don't care if they accuse me of getting a perm or> highlights, because I know that it's natural, it's me> , and it's how I feel most comfortable. The truth is> most guys have trouble growing out their hair and most> have dark, straight hair by my age so of course I'm> going to stand out. I'm not talking about hair down to> my shoulders, maybe just past my ears. In my opinion> too many people , especially guys have the same stye.> It's that short at back and sides, short on top look> that makes us all look so generic. Originality is the> key because it's the original ones who make it> somewhere and the one's who are comfortable being> themselves..it's those people who are able to smile> the most sincere smiles. So, my advice: do what you> want with your hair, because it's your hair, and it's> your self.

Posted By: Jamie
Date Posted: Jan 11, 2000 at 8:42pm

blondboy,That is much the same situation. I have not been getting mine chopped off, but I have been getting it cut shorter than I would like it. I don't think that a bob that is just belows the ears is any big deal. It is only hair. A hairstyle does not change the person. I asked my hairstylist to be totally honest about my hair being cut this way ( a bob just below my ears and basically one length except for the bangs which reach my eyes) and she said that it looked great. It fit my face and all that. I love it and it looks good to me. Besides girls are moving toward shorter layered cuts that only guys used to wear. What is the big double standard?> Jamie,> I can totally empathise with you. For years I was made> fun of for my feminine features and when I decided to> grow out my hair a bit in high school it only added to> the name calling and such. Teachers would tell me how> beautiful my hair was, but peers would ask me why it> was so long. (it was only just at the tip of my ear,> so not really long, but to them I guess it was).> Anyway, it even started getting a bit wavy and curly> and you can imagine the name "pretty boy"> came up a lot. I remember guys would come up to me and> try to pull it out! Anyway, I got it cut and while I> regretted it I became even more popular because of> this new chic look. I was the first to have hair that> short in my school, and it looked really good, but you> know what? the pretty boy comments didnt' stop. Well I> grew it out again and it became somewhat wavy, then I> would have people stop me on the street and ask me> where I got it permed. Even my mom and other relatives> would be sceptical. But it was all natural! Anyway, I> couldn't take the sneers any longer and as I was going> through a diffucult time in my life I cut it off> again, and again, and again, today , at 20 I realize> that my hair looks best medium to longer length, and I> feel most comfortable, so I've decided once again to> grow it out. I dont' care if I'm going to look like a> Hitler poster boy with the blue eyed blond hair combo,> I don't care if they accuse me of getting a perm or> highlights, because I know that it's natural, it's me> , and it's how I feel most comfortable. The truth is> most guys have trouble growing out their hair and most> have dark, straight hair by my age so of course I'm> going to stand out. I'm not talking about hair down to> my shoulders, maybe just past my ears. In my opinion> too many people , especially guys have the same stye.> It's that short at back and sides, short on top look> that makes us all look so generic. Originality is the> key because it's the original ones who make it> somewhere and the one's who are comfortable being> themselves..it's those people who are able to smile> the most sincere smiles. So, my advice: do what you> want with your hair, because it's your hair, and it's> your self.!-) (!

Posted By: Jamie
Date Posted: Jan 11, 2000 at 8:42pm

Erica,I greatly appreciate you attitude and view. Really my hair is beautiful and yes I am happy with my pretty below the ears bob with eye length bangs.Thanks> You sound just like a living Ken doll! LOL I'm sure> your hair is beautiful, and I hope you are happy with> your decision.!-) (!

Posted By: TMortis
Date Posted: May 7, 2006 at 2:20pm

I hope there are still people out there that want to talk about feminione hairstyles on guys. I permed and colored my hair for years, always had a trim after so it wan't that long. I too wonder why society has so much to say about males having long hair and women with super short. Like earrings and softer colors on guys. I would love to hear from the ladies out there about this subject ttoo.!--

Posted By: murf26
Date Posted: Nov 28, 2006 at 12:28pm

Serena, I'm a guy and new to this board. Just been browsing more than anything and seeing what people have to say about hair. Going to be 50 next year and have decided to grow my hair long. Not sure...maybe shoulder length. Anyway, I think everyone should have a balance in their gender(s). There is so much in life that a person misses out on because they are strictly "this" or "that". I work hard everyday at not judging others, whether it be their hair or their actions. I admit that I am not a macho, muscular dude who watches football and goes out drinking with the guys. It really doesn't matter to me what those "guys" say about me, and that includes my hair. Ever since I began growing my hair out(it's been about 3 months since my last haircut), a different part of me is emerging...and I like that part! This message hasn't been entirely about guys with long hair but it does say something about one's self-confidence going into growing long hair. Thanks for listening.

Michael

Posted By: murf26
Date Posted: Nov 28, 2006 at 12:44pm

Jamie, I might have an answer for you as far as clothing goes...a kilt. I'm in a Scottish bagpipe/drum and brass ensemble. We wear two different tartans but all have kilts, belts, hats, etc. We perform at Scottish Highland games. There are guys with kilts all over the place! If you remember Mel Gibson in "Bravehart"(the story of William Wallace), he was a longhair with a kilt on. Have seen Sean Connery in his family's tartan kilt online. It sounds like you are happy with yourself, as I am with myself. I'm 6'9" and have decided to grow my hair out. Don't think anyone is going to give me a hard time. Also have some Cherokee and Creek Indian lineage so that's a good enough reason for me to honor my ancestors with my hair. Hope you have a great time with your hair. Sounds like you have made the right decision. Michael

Posted By: julesyjul88
Date Posted: Dec 5, 2006 at 4:29am

I will agree with serena ...I think men who look somewhat feminine are the more attractive ones. Maybe that's why other guys give dirty looks cuz they are jealous.
When I met my husband,he had waist length hair and mine was up to my ears in a bob. We went shopping one day and some guy made a comment about how all the guys here have longer hair then their girlfriends. Well,I gave him a little piece of my mind! I think he was shocked I actually said something to him and apologized to me.
I have always prefered guys with long hair. Guys today look like cookie cutter clones of each other and I hate it. Alot are just too lazy to even have a style. (the ones I know are,they dont even want to brush it,so they just shave it all off)
I hope you never let what others think change your style. Do what makes you happy.People give me dirty looks all the time (why I have no idea) and I just give em back,LOL.

Posted By: dans
Date Posted: Dec 6, 2006 at 6:39pm

Being a feminine straight guy with a chin length graduated bob i think it's great,i'm currently growing out my bob, or i might go for something asymmetric. I only just found the confidence to go out and about with my hair looking feminine about two months ago,i normaly straighten my fringe to the side,straighten the sides and blowdry the back with a round brush to give real volume.It's great to read comments about men with feminine hair cuts and styles,and women that like it ofcourse. If women can have boyish cuts and not get strange looks men should be able to.$

Posted By: kengibson2001
Date Posted: Jan 15, 2007 at 8:51am

THe Yin has to balance out the yang.

No one these days minds much if a straight girl shows some of her masculine side.

But if a straight guy shows his feminine side than he must be gay or worst transsexual.

I wear my hair in somewhat feminine styles. I get it curled, braided, I put it up in a bun.
! Cabdap 0d ,$ b` "<$"0 0%,($$ (--$ b` .&

Posted By: BillB
Date Posted: Jul 9, 2008 at 3:54am

,"$`$$ , d ``

I've worn mine exactly that way and didn't get too much greif about it until I started using a blow dryer on it. Then people thought that I was going too far.

Posted By: Raptor
Date Posted: Jan 8, 2011 at 2:42pm

Yeah jamie, u right, in this context even i had waist long hair and used i used to go with a single long braid, if girls can have short cuts, boys can also braid their hairs and give other feminine long hair styles

Posted By: Dawn-P
Date Posted: Jan 17, 2011 at 12:10pm

If a guy wants to have a girlish hairstyle just be smart about it. Talk to a stylist and see what they recommend for your type hair and face shape. I am sure there will be lots of choices for you. Once you have your hair finally "done" in its new style then it only takes a couple of days for people to get used to your new look. This is true for anyone who changes their hairstyle. If you are growing your hair out to a longer feminine style then people are used to the slow process and don't really think that much about it. So guys, don't be bashful....if this is what you really want then go for it. I for one love guys with pretty hair.

!%,

Posted By: Jamiej
Date Posted: Jan 24, 2011 at 8:00pm

Hey Dawn,
Its not that easy. Im have been trying to grow my hair into a fem bob for a long time and every time I start to get close to a short fem bob that I want so bad people rag me about my hair being too long and too fem so I have to get it cut. I wouldnt cut it but my wife protests loudest of all. I guess I wii die never having the chin length bob with bangs that would make me feel comfortable. Any advice is certainly welcomed.

Posted By: Dawn-P
Date Posted: Feb 1, 2011 at 12:58pm

Hi Jamie,

It is a bummer that your spouse is against your desire to have a girlish style. You know her better than anyone.....you really need to find a way to win her over. How long is your hair now? Is there a dress code issue at your work? Do you think your wife would let you go for the guy pony tail look? If she would agree to that then get to that point and start to ease into more feminine styles. Maybe once she sees your hair like that she may find she likes the look on you. Keep in touch, I really want to know how this works out for you.

!%,

Posted By: Jamiej
Date Posted: Feb 1, 2011 at 4:40pm

Hey Dawn,

Thank your reply. My hair is thick pretty light brown, center parted and to mid ear from the top and to my earlobes overall with bangs to my eyebrows. I have an appt to get it cut in 3 weeks and I'm looking for pics of a short feminine bob that is full in the back with bangs. I think I will just come out and tell the girl that does my hair that i LOVE fem bobs and that I want one. What are your thoughts? I mean what can my wife say if i get a feminine bob that I CAN'T hide right? Any pics or suggestions or help are appreciated. thanks

Posted By: Ricc
Date Posted: Mar 2, 2011 at 11:12am

Interesting. This thread is just over a page, yet has spanned 11 years and 2 Jamies. I guess every topic has it's niche.

Every guy gets razzed a bit when he first grows his hair long. It's just a fact of life as a long haired guy. Once you stabilize your style for awhile people will get used to and find something new to talk about. I've always found the key is to wear it in a neat, fairly normal looking style (even if it's normal for the opposite gender) that suits your overall appearance well. I've always had an easy time of it because I'm slender with an oval shaped face and long hair tends to look good people like me. My advice to not worry about gender or what people think and just find a look that's best for you.

Posted By: Jamiej
Date Posted: Mar 26, 2011 at 6:33am

Ok I went to the salon and straight out told the girl that I want a feminine girls bob, earlobe length with bangs and a stacked back. She said that length and style would look great on me and she cut my hair so that when it grows out a little (about 1 to 2 months worth) it will be a one length earlobe length bob with bangs. Right now its more like a bowl cut with bangs as I let the sides grow longer but the back is there. SOON I will have a fem earlobe length bob with bangs MMMMMMMMM can't wait.

Posted By: Ricc
Date Posted: Apr 12, 2011 at 10:06am

Quite awhile back I wore mine sort of like that. I was sort of tiring of having my hair about elbow length and decided to go for a radical cut. I'd always liked the "wedge" style cut and so I went with that. It was basically a just over the ears banged paige, but with beveling to give it some width. I loved it, though it was a style I'd only seen on women. Later I grew it to below chin length, but kept the bangs. I kind of wanted to go completely blonde with it that way, but compromised and just did some light streaks.

These days I wear it bangless one-length at almost my shoulders. I kind of miss bangs. They really make your hair look full in the front, hiding your hairline. I may go back to them sometime.

Posted By: Jenny-B
Date Posted: Apr 15, 2011 at 9:28am

Go Jamie! You be yourself. Your spouse will come around, especially if she knows it makes you happy. !,, @&

Posted By: Jamiej
Date Posted: Apr 22, 2011 at 9:16am

Hey everyone. I went to the salon this past week and got a mani/pedi (with polish) and had my hair cut into a cute feminine earlobe length bob with bangs and clippered nape. I love it. I want it to grow out a little longer and that wont take long my hair grows fast. I had a blast at the salon. Girly stuff is soooo mch fun.

Posted By: Ricc
Date Posted: Apr 24, 2011 at 11:07am

Glad you had a good time, Jamie. That's a great style for a growout, too. It should look good at every length. Long hair obviously isn't for everyone, but is certainly is a pleasure for those of us who love it-- guys included.

Posted By: Jamiej
Date Posted: May 5, 2011 at 2:56pm

I am soooo loving my hair in this fem earlobe length bob with bangs and clippered nape. I love the way it swings. Im going to let it grow some so next hair appt I will get it cut longer on the sides and getting shorter in back. Its going to be soooo fem.

Posted By: BobbedAtLast
Date Posted: May 26, 2011 at 10:40am

I'm new to this forum but not new to long, feminine hair. I have always had it since it became possible. I am straight and married and my wife lets me have what I want! I used to have waist-length hair for many years, with only slight changes. I cut it back above shoulder length once to get a job but grew it back and have only had styling done occasionally since then. I had feathered-back bangs cut in at one point and later had straight bangs, both times with the rest to my waist.

A little more than a year ago I got tired of the split ends, etc., and got my wife to chop it off to shoulder length. We agreed it needed professional repair so I took my time to find a good stylist to have her give me an angled bob style. Since then I added some stacking to the back and last time I had her color the stacking two shades darker for some kind of "lowlights" (I get her to color my gray roots each time).

I really enjoy the bob and although it draws some stares and double-takes occasionally, it is casually accepted by 99% of the people I encounter. All my friends and co-workers are used to it now. I wear it "down" almost always, only tucking it behind my ears for the most conservative occasions. Yes--you really can wear a bob!

Posted By: Jamiej
Date Posted: May 26, 2011 at 2:29pm

Welcome to the bobbed guy club. I hope It grows because there is NOTHING wrong with a guy having a bob hairstyle. I have my hair cut in a feminine bob with bangs and I LOVE it. I love the way it looks and swings and my stylist said it fits my face shape. I think we need to start a revolution about gender and hairstyles. Where I am from any guy that is remotely feminine is usaully looked down upon, but I have my hair cut in a girls earlobe length bob with bangs and im letting it grow some. I have an appt in 2 weeks and I am thinking of getting it cut in an angled bob with bangs. longer on the sides and graduated up a LITTLE in back and having the back stacked. I mean girls can wear their hair from LONG LONG to SHORT SHORT (even bald) so why cant guys have bob hairstyles right?

Posted By: BobbedAtLast
Date Posted: May 26, 2011 at 3:27pm

Jamie-I agree and I am pushing the frontier with a bob! You can see my basic cut in my avatar--the angle and stack are evident. I am letting the front grow out, maybe an inch more, and angle it even more then. Plus I may have the stacking dyed black instead of just a couple of shades darker than my normal. I have lots of pix on the GuysWithBobs Group on Yahoo--are you a member of that group?

Posted By: Jamiej
Date Posted: May 28, 2011 at 1:30pm

Yes I am too pushing the limits with my bob but I love it. whats the name of the group your in on yahoo. I looked for it and couldnt find it. PM me your email and I will send you pics of my pretty fem bob

Posted By: rame
Date Posted: Jul 6, 2011 at 5:14pm

Hi jamie, There is nothing wrong in being yourself. I was also in a dilemma about a couple of years before. but now i don't really care much about what others think. After all it is our life. below is my photo of hair.

have fun. rame2015-06-15 01:11:03

Posted By: mmonday01
Date Posted: Sep 9, 2011 at 10:41pm

I have natural brown hair with highlights that only became evident once I let it grow out. The salon lady styled it into a pretty bob for me. She also waxed my eyebrows too. I love having the style and it makes me look much younger.

Posted By: decken
Date Posted: Sep 13, 2011 at 5:22pm

There are certainly distinct differences between masculine and feminine decor style, however, this does not mean that it is not possible to mix these two styles together to make a coherent living space.

Posted By: jennifer_m
Date Posted: Jul 2, 2012 at 9:52am

Hi everyone. I'm a guy (Jennifer is the fem name I like to use) and I have wanted for a while to grow my hair out and get it cut in a very feminine bob with bangs. I haven't because when my hair starts getting longer people tell me I need to go get a haircut and I cave in and do. I really want a feminine bob with bangs either chin length or earlobe length. What should I do? Does anyone have suggestions for how to deal with this and what would be the best most feminine bob with bangs cut to get?

Posted By: Ericachristina
Date Posted: Jul 2, 2012 at 5:21pm

Unfortunately there will always be people who stick so strictly to gender norms and societal ideals that they will put down anyone who doesn

Posted By: BobbedAtLast
Date Posted: Jul 3, 2012 at 8:26am

Since my last post a bit over a year ago I have continued to enjoy my angled, stacked bob. I wear it down almost all the time, rarely tucking it back. Since last summer I have added highlights, too. Also, I have added earrings, usually wearing 2-inch hoops in the front holes and ball studs in the back ones. I am straight and I do not act effeminate. It is fun to enjoy this look!

Posted By: jennifer_m
Date Posted: Jul 3, 2012 at 8:44am

Thanks for the replies. Erica, I did ask a stylist once how I would look with a bob and she said my face and features were great for that style.that's one reason I am wanting to get one so bad.
Bobbed, you are lucky to have a great bob already. I want to be able to enjoy that feeling too, and the dressing up as well.
That said, nobody has offered any advice on how to deal with all the people that pressure me to get a haircut and what length and style bob is the most feminine and sexy.
I really need advice because I want to let my hair grow and finally get the feminine bob that I have always wanted.

Posted By: Ricc
Date Posted: Jul 14, 2012 at 10:51am

Well, Jennifer, I've dealt with the "get a haircut" grinches several times over the years and I can give you some advice. People (especially negatively oriented people) are always going to respond to any change in your appearance. However, it doesn't last. After a time they get used to you looking different and hassling you about the same thing becomes boring.

How you respond to such remarks can make a difference. If you always frown and argue you're biting their bait. Just say nothing in response. Just look bored. Either walk away from them or move on to another topic. If they insist on talking about your hair, just say it's not an issue for discussion and you won't be talking about it anymore.

You can minimize such comments, too, by taking the effort to make sure your hair looks as good as possible all the time. This is tricky while growing hair out. Most people go through what's called an "awkward phase" with hair growing. I think the best solution for this is to just keep it out of the way as well as possible. Slick it back with gel, wear a headband or hat-- something. The good news is the awkward phase shouldn't last very long.

Just as soon as your hair reaches the right length, get a quality cut in a really good looking familiar style. It really doesn't matter if it's a men's or a women's style, in my experience. When you have a good hairstyle that fits your features well and you look good in a relatively common way, people tend to accept this as your look.

Give it another try and stick it out. I'm pretty sure you'll find it was worth bearing a couple of grouchy remarks.
Ricc2012-07-14 10:56:41

Posted By: jennifer_m
Date Posted: Jul 17, 2012 at 3:15am

Ricc,

Thanks for your reply. I have my mind set on letting my hair grow so that I can have it cut in the style that I have always wanted, a jaw length bob with bangs. I'm sure I have some tough days ahead if the past is any indicator. I think I will have to have a couple of trims in between to keep my hair neat but I'm letting it grow. I can't wait to sit in the salon chair and tell the stylist that I want a feminine jaw length bob with bangs and I definitely can't wait to feel my bob swing when I turn my head. Oh and i take great care of my hair. I was and style it everyday. I'm going for the girls bob with bangs. Everyone please help me with support, styles, and tips/suggestions. Thanks

Posted By: BobbedAtLast
Date Posted: Jul 17, 2012 at 8:37am

I'll tell you what I did when I got my bob. My hair was about shoulder length after cutting it from midback length--I think I had a easier route than you since I was going shorter. (Most people commented that I had gotten my hair cut, not gotten it bobbed.) I took in some pix of what I wanted, a few off the web (see www.coolbobs.com for zillions of images), showing the side view of the angle I wanted, the stacking in the back, overall length. You would want to add pix of the bangs you want. I searched around and found a young, female stylist in a small, 4-chair shop with dividers so it was somewhat private. I was lucky in that we had a blizzard that day and I and my stylist were the only ones in there! I had checked her out on Facebook to see she was young and hip--you don't want to try to convince a guy or an older woman that you want a bob! She should be "on your side"--she wants your business and wants to make you happy.

I have found that wearing a bob is no big deal. I have never gotten a bad comment and have gotten some complements. You just have to wear it with confidence and you will love it. You have only one life--live yours and not theirs.

Do it! Enjoy it!

Posted By: jennifer_m
Date Posted: Jul 17, 2012 at 7:21pm

I wish my hair were that long now or at least long enough to get it cut in a bob. I have the midset, I think, to do it but I have to go through the growing out process first and that is where I have always had problems with "your a guy get a haircut" and "your hair is too lng for a guy get it cut". That will be my biggest problem for a few months but if I can get ideas and advice on how to get through that I will definitely get my hair cut in the jaw length feminine bob with bangs that I have wanted all of my life and I will be able to enjoy the feel of it and the swing of it when I turn my head. So like I have asked before I need advice on how to get through that and which bob styles are the MOST fem because I don't want to be able to hide the fact that I have a feminine cut once I get that bob with bangs

Posted By: BobbedAtLast
Date Posted: Jul 18, 2012 at 8:39am

If you can't get through the awkward grow-out phase and comments you get what will you do with comments about your bob? I think what you need to do is to take some pix of your target cut to a stylist and tell her you need help in getting there with transition styles that will always look good at any point along the way. You need a pro to help you through that.

Posted By: jennifer_m
Date Posted: Jul 20, 2012 at 3:00am

Once I have the bob there will be non going back so I won't care what people say. Besides, then I will have the confidence to just swing my bob and tell them they are just jealous. I do plan on doing as you said and going to a nice younger girl if I can find one and letting her take me through the growing out with transitional cuts. I already have several pictures of bobs that I like. I'm going to let her help me pic the one that will be best for my features and hopefully she will get me there with great cuts that look more and more fem each time until I get the fem bob of my dreams. I can't wait to get there and get the bob so it swings and bounces each time I turn my head. And a bob that no one will mistake for a guys cut.

Posted By: jennifer_m
Date Posted: Jul 20, 2012 at 3:04am

After I have the feminine bob with bangs there will be nothing they can say that will bother me. I will have the confidence to swing my bob and tell them they are just jealous. I do plan to try to find a young stylist that will help me with transitional cuts that hopefully get more fem each time. I have several pictures and I want her to help me choose which one will best suite me. Can't wait to have a fem bob with bangs that swings and bounces each time I turn my head. How do I go about finding the right girl to help me??

Posted By: BobbedAtLast
Date Posted: Jul 20, 2012 at 8:58am

A couple of ideas--find a girl with a bob that looks great and ask who cuts here hair. Maybe find a couple of them and get a couple of ads. I tried that but never made the connection because her stylist had just moved out of town. Then I stumbled on a stylist's ad on a local web site and checked her out by looking at her Facebook page. She looked cool and so I went with her. Unfortunately, she just moved a 100 miles away so I may have to change stylists. You should also join the GuyswithBobs Group on Yahoo--there are lots of pix of guys with bobs. Marcy, in particular, wears bobs that are extremely fem, more than I could get away with.

Posted By: jennifer_m
Date Posted: Mar 2, 2013 at 2:53pm

I have a bob haircut with bangs now. If anyone wants to see pictures they are in Yahoo groups

Posted By: BobbedAtLast
Date Posted: Jun 26, 2013 at 7:10pm

That's cute and very fem! I thought you were getting a longer (jaw length) cut, though. What's your plan?

Posted By: jamiejenj
Date Posted: Jan 27, 2014 at 8:04am

Do you think I should get a jaw length bob with bangs inverted?

Posted By: BobbedAtLast
Date Posted: Mar 3, 2014 at 2:09pm

Jamie-

Ge the bob. I love mine. I have grown it out more and it is now a lob--a long bob that touches my shoulder blades and angles up to a stack in the back.

Posted By: jamiejenj
Date Posted: May 28, 2014 at 8:00am

I have gotten my bob. its chin length blunt cut with wide blunt bangs. thinking about getting it in a angled bob at my next appt

Posted By: jamiejenj
Date Posted: May 29, 2014 at 7:24pm

I' a guy and I have this straight brown hair cut in a blunt chin length bob with wide blunt bangs. My next salon appt I'm going to get an angled bob with bangs, chin length in front angled to mid ear in back and stacked. I'm sooo excited. My hair will be sooo pretty.

Posted By: jamiejenj
Date Posted: Jun 10, 2014 at 3:28am

I have a salon appt on the 17th of this month. I think I'm going to get an angled bob with wide blunt bangs. chin length in front angled to mid ear in back and stacked. what so all of you think?

Posted By: jennifer_m
Date Posted: Mar 13, 2015 at 6:22pm

Well I finally have a long bob that I love. My thick brown hair is cut in a one length bob just above my shoulders with bangs. Love the way it looks and swings

Posted By: BobbedAtLast
Date Posted: May 21, 2015 at 2:35pm

I started a Facebook Page, Guys with Bobs, for those interested. See it at
https://www.facebook.com/GuysWithBobs?fref=ts

Posted By: jennifer_m
Date Posted: Aug 15, 2015 at 9:41pm

Hi. I recently liked your FB page. I really like it

Posted By: BobbedAtLast
Date Posted: Nov 17, 2015 at 11:48am

Thanks. Unfortunately, Facebook demanded ID for my account that I had created the page under (BobbedGuy). I am not sure I want to not be anonymous. Don't know. So, I can't access and maintain that page now.

Posted By: PaigeP
Date Posted: Feb 17, 2016 at 12:02pm

Hi, I love the discussion of guys in bobs -- when I first met my BF he was growing his hair out and it had all these layers and was kind of a mess. I got him to go to my stylist and she started trimming it into a cute style and when it got to his shoulders she suggested a chin-length bob. He was reluctant at first but finally agreed after we showed him some photos of bobs that would look good on him. He finally went with the bob about 2 years ago and he absolutely loves it. He usually wears it behind his ears, with a headband, for work, and it looks super-clean and professional, yet feminine. On the weekends I usually set it on rollers for more of a Marilyn Monroe curly bob. Bobbing his hair (and letting me curl it) was a big step for him in embracing a more feminine look and lifestyle. We've been thinking about bangs for him for a while and after seeing Taylor Swift's bob-with-bangs at the Grammys the other night he's finally agreed to go for it! It'll look very girlish but I think he's ready for it. We're getting his bangs cut on Friday. I can't wait!!

Enjoy your bob and don't worry about the haters --

PaigeP2016-02-17 12:48:24

Posted By: Ricc
Date Posted: Mar 29, 2016 at 9:50am

That was a very cool post, Paige. I'd love to hear a report about how the things went with the bangs. The bob with bangs cut has always been one of my favorite styles, though I've never worn it myself. I've done the chin length blunt cut thing, but I never felt like my hairline or front volume would work well with bangs. I've considered trying some clip-in bangs sometime, though.

Posted By: BobbedAtLast
Date Posted: Apr 28, 2016 at 12:59pm

I'd like to hear about the Taylor Swift look on him, too. I am back now on FB with a new account name. Best of all is that I can maintain my Guys With Bobs FB pag!

Posted By: AliceEdwards
Date Posted: May 3, 2016 at 10:33pm

I just have one question. Does a bob require that you have bangs in the front?

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