Long Hair over 40
Printed From: HairBoutique.com
Category: Long Hair Happenings
Forum Name: Long Hair Support
Forum Description: Growing it long takes commitment and support.
URL: /forum_posts.php?TID=38054
Printed Date: Dec 26, 2024 at 9:21am
Topic: Long Hair over 40
Posted By: kmouse40
Subject: Long Hair over 40
Date Posted: Dec 15, 2005 at 3:15pm
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Hello everyone! I am new here and I just love your discussion board!
I am trying for the first time in years to grow my hair again (over 20 years or so). I am 42 and a little unsure if long hair will make me look older. What is everyone's opinion or experiences with that? Also does long hair look better on certain face shapes? I have a squarish shaped face and do not want it to look more square. Thanks for your input. 
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Hug a child, love can change their life.
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Replies: 79
Posted By: kmouse40
Date Posted: Dec 15, 2005 at 3:15pm
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Hello everyone! I am new here and I just love your discussion board!
I am trying for the first time in years to grow my hair again (over 20 years or so). I am 42 and a little unsure if long hair will make me look older. What is everyone's opinion or experiences with that? Also does long hair look better on certain face shapes? I have a squarish shaped face and do not want it to look more square. Thanks for your input.
!% a`h`d$ d $% `b #( bb 4(%) ,)$%,
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Posted By: Hellfrozeover
Date Posted: Dec 15, 2005 at 4:06pm
Go for it! If you have greys then be very careful if you chose to colour them. Rini knows a bit about henna . I've never understood this women over a certain age should chop off their hair rule.
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Posted By: gossipqueen
Date Posted: Dec 15, 2005 at 5:51pm
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Welcome kmouse40, I agree I think you
should go for it. I don
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Posted By: DaveDecker
Date Posted: Dec 15, 2005 at 7:02pm
Welcome, kmouse!
I know plenty of people in their 40's and beyond who have long hair in
good condition, and (although I may be biased) I think they all look
great with long hair! Face shape is a complete non-issue.
The whole "choose-a-hairstyle-and-length-to-compliment-your-face-shape " notion is dogma. Ignore it.
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Posted By: Susan W
Date Posted: Dec 16, 2005 at 7:51am
I agree, love what you've got! You can always wear it up in elegant updos too, long hair gives you more options!
About long hair over ...any random age... first, it doesn't matter and
you can and should have it any way you like it. But also I've
noticed more ads on tv and in magazines featuring women with long gray
hair, so you'd be in style anyway.
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Posted By: Sugaree
Date Posted: Dec 16, 2005 at 9:29am
Hi kmouse, welcome.
I found this picture of a lovely women (who appears to be over 40, who
knows though!) who wears her hair long. I think she looks really great, I'm
sure you will too if you decide to go long. I'm only 22, but when I get
older I plan to wear my hair long and natural (I'm already graying in some
spots!)
Sorry for the blurry pic! (you get the idea though)Sugaree38702.3961921296!,% hed t`` !, $`p ).4 ` '. , -%
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Posted By: kmouse40
Date Posted: Dec 16, 2005 at 9:39am
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Thank you so much! I really appreciate all of your wisdom. You have certainly encouraged me to go ahead and grow my hair out. It's about shoulder length now, layered, with about a dozen grays. I don't really mind the white/grays, I feel I have earned them and they can be a beautiful sign of wisdom. I always give up in the awkward growing out layer stage but your discussion board and posts have already helped with tips on how to get past this. Thanks again!!% a`h`d$ d $% `b #( bb 4(%) ,)$%,
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Posted By: LadyFrog
Date Posted: Dec 16, 2005 at 12:48pm
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I think longer hair can look gorgeous on older women (not that you're
old!) although as the hair growth cycle gets shorter, you might not be
able to grow it as long without the ends getting manked. Don't worry
about a square face-to balance it you are supposed to have longer hair
and avoid chin length bits-opt for a side fringe or something instead
say the almighty style gurus in the glossys.
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Posted By: Bob S
Date Posted: Dec 16, 2005 at 12:51pm
IMO, the BEST decision an over 40 woman can make is to grow her hair long. Virtually every woman looks stunning with length. Someone said that hair is a woman's richest ornament, and I fully agree. Love it and flaunt it, Kmouse! Blessings, Bob 
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Posted By: Sunsailing
Date Posted: Dec 17, 2005 at 8:29am
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Hi kmouse 40
I'm with everyone else concerning hair length and age. (I happen to be your age...) I began growing mine 5 years ago and am glad that I did. This is the first time in my life that I've had hair longer than a few inches.
Obviously you have the desire to grow yours longer. Don't worry about what some people might say. There will always be someone who is willing to give you their opinion whether you asked for it or not  . Just keep in mind that you'll also get positive comments too!
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Posted By: Sugarloaf
Date Posted: Dec 24, 2005 at 4:19am
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Really interested to read all the comments here because they confirm what I have decided this year. I'm 50 but look ten years younger even on a bad day. Luckily inherited good skin from both parents and try to keep in shape. My hair was a short layered cut for decades. Decided this year to stop the hair dyes and to grow it out. I think I look even younger and much more feminine.
My face is also square and I think the long style balances it out and draws attention away from it. I work with a lady who has a large face. Her hair is almost waist length and natural grey and white. Absolutely stunning!
My aim for 2006 is to finish growing out the leftovers of the dyed hair. That will leave me with hair that is 50% dark brown and 50% chunky white stripes (all natural!). I love it. Then I'm going to grow it longer...definitely below the shoulders. Believe me, that is longer than I've had it since I was about 15!
42 is NOT old! I wish I'd grown my hair then. But I fell into the common trap of thinking that short hair was easier for a busy mum. Thinking back, it was probably harder to keep in shape than long hair.
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Posted By: Jeep Girl
Date Posted: Dec 24, 2005 at 5:58am
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Longtime lurker, seldom poster here!
Don't let the infamous "they" hold you back from doing what you want... It's not how old you are - it's doing what YOU want, that will make you happy! Let your hair grow long - or cut it, if YOU don't like it. I too am over 40 (well, barely - will be 41 in February) and my hair is down to the middle of my butt. Do people comment on it? Sure, in a good way! The negative comments have come only AFTER they find out how old I am - like Sugarloaf, I inherited something from my parents that make me look younger. (Must be the acne, ha ha - thanks Mom!) But seriously, try the long hair route if you want. The only thing I've noticed is that my hair isn't growing quite as fast as when I was younger, so I am taking better care of it, because it takes longer to recover from mistakes. At any length - take care of your hair, and it will take care of you! !% Cibl `p2 - "`` 28"0 ">(!$),, $ )),% `b &(
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Posted By: DaveDecker
Date Posted: Dec 24, 2005 at 4:16pm
Greetings, Sugarloaf, and Jeep Girl!
Jeep Girl is so right! Grow for it, Sugarloaf! We'll give you all the support you want. 
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Posted By: baker46
Date Posted: Dec 24, 2005 at 9:55pm
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Sugarloaf...good for you!! I, too, am 50+ and have been blessed with excellent genes! Everyone thinks I'm at least 10 years younger. I also had short, layered hair for about 8 years (how did I get in that rut??) and decided in August to let it grow. This decision came about quite by accident because we relocated to another city and it was a while before I could get aquainted with people and find a good beautician. By that time, my hair had been growing out for 5 months, so I looked at myself and realized I was in a rut....and bored with my hair cut. I chose a bob style because my layers had grown out a lot. This cut gave me the shape I wanted. Now I can continue to grow it longer. My goal is shoulder length. Maybe I'm dating myself, but does anyone remember Jackie Kennedy? Look at how great she looked with her gorgeous, longer pageboy style...right up until she died. I think any "mature" woman can look classy with long hair if she has the right style. I'm so happy I found a great beautician that understood what I wanted...even before I told her!
BTW...Merry Christmas everyone!!!
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Posted By: kmouse40
Date Posted: Dec 26, 2005 at 10:09am
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Thanks for all your encouragement! Hey Jeep Girl! When in February? I am the 13th! I don't feel old and I do get mistaken for someone younger (I have 4 teenagers and many times people think I am their older sister). I didn't want to ruin that. But you all have helped me understand that long hair is not a problem with age. My 14 year old daughter has beautiful waist length hair and she refuses to cut it. I just love it! Sugarloaf, do you think you will grow it all one length, or have bangs, or what? I am trying to decide. Right now I am thinking a side fringe. My sister has BSL hair with bangs and I don't want to copy her. My daughter's is all one length. My 18 year old daughter is growing hers out all one length and it is currently just past shoulder length. Mine is at or about shoulder length with layers. Anyway, you guys are awesome and I love your pics of your beautiful hair!
!% a`h`d$ d $% `b #( bb 4(%) ,)$%,
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Posted By: kmouse40
Date Posted: Dec 26, 2005 at 10:11am
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Hey Baker46! I remember Jackie Kennedy! She was so elegant and beautiful. That haircut was a signature of hers. She would not have been the same without it!!% a`h`d$ d $% `b #( bb 4(%) ,)$%,
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Posted By: duke
Date Posted: Dec 26, 2005 at 11:57am
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Nice hair, LadyFrog!
Go for it. It should not make you look older, more likely younger!
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Posted By: Sugarloaf
Date Posted: Dec 28, 2005 at 12:23am
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Kmouse, my hair is already all one length apart from a small side fringe. (I suppose bangs means "fringe"). It means something else where I come from! It took me about 2 years to grow out the layers and I wouldn't go back. I need a fringe because I have a high forehead that looks better if it is softened a little.
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Posted By: Alayney
Date Posted: Jan 3, 2006 at 3:29am
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I can appreciate that certain lengths and styles look good an people of certain ages and with certain face shapes; HOWEVER, I think a person should do what THEY like and want. My mom's hair looked SO NICE when it was long but some stylist told her one time that with her face shape she should keep her hair short so not she keeps it SHORT. It drives me crazy. I think she has gorgeous hair; sometimes I think these stylists tell you the opposite of the truth because they're either jealous or they want to take you down a notch.
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Posted By: LongBraidz
Date Posted: Jan 3, 2006 at 12:13pm
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Hi Everyone,
such an interesting topic and so close to home for me. I'am proud to say that I'am 44 year's old and growing out my hair. I gave up on all hair dyes and scissors. I have always marched to beat of my own drummer so I REFUSE to go the same direction as most females have taken when it comes to the ageing process with their hair! I will NEVER wear a short, permed hair style with that blueing junk in it. I have silver streaks against medium ash brown hair and I'am very comfortable with it. The streaks actually compliment my skin tone in the summer when I tan dark. Age is all about attitude....if you feel old then you look old. - A` nat p` $ 4(` !24` %,)%($! $- $%%, `b "
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Posted By: UP Lisa
Date Posted: Jan 6, 2006 at 9:42am
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Hello Everyone! I'm 45, and started growing mine out at 42. Haven't had it this length since I was a teenager. It seems to take forever to grow, but actually I think it's growing as fast as it ever did.
I don't intend to make my age be a factor in this. I've always loved long hair, and I'm going to have it before I'm dead.
!!!
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Posted By: RachelZ3
Date Posted: Jan 6, 2006 at 10:43am
I'm 45 - and I aint cutting it!!!!
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Posted By: SpecialKitty
Date Posted: Jan 6, 2006 at 11:39am
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UP Lisa, how long is your hair? How long did it take to grow (from what original length)? Just curious, as I am 41 and starting to grow mine. Also, what type of hair do you have? Thanks!! |
Posted By: GearMaven
Date Posted: Feb 4, 2007 at 4:41pm
As a newbie, I am so grateful to have found this forum and this thread! For so long, family have been telling me to keep my hair short when I LOVE long hair since having it midback length when young. I must admit that I really didn't expend the effort to care for it well when it was long in the past. You
know, lots of "mouse tail" remarks for this very fine hair.
So delighted to find folks 40+ with long hair, as I'm 49. While I do have the dreaded "long face" (oh! oh!), I'm hoping your advice here will help me care for my hair so that I can grow it to comfortable braiding length. I'm just at shoulder length but layered shorter throughout. So much work to do.
Would love to see some pics of the greying or silver hair, as I'm still coloring my hair blonde, like my high school natural color (I know, I know!) Thankfully, I'm noticing much more grey than light brown in new growth, so color very seldom now. I'm actually liking the grey touches at my ears too. Please post some photos of those beautiful heads of graying hair!
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Posted By: UP Lisa
Date Posted: Feb 5, 2007 at 7:11am
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Hi. My hair is past BSL, heading for waist!!! It is baby-fine and slightly wavy. It is a dark golden blond that looks red in outdoor photos.
Lisa !!!
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Posted By: Alisa06
Date Posted: Feb 5, 2007 at 8:50am
I believe that older ladies ( not that you are old, just in general) with long hair are so stunning and elegant looking!
I was at costco a few weeks ago and saw a lady there with mostly gray hair with blonde ends, that had hair to her upper thighs. I could not keep from looking at her. I was going to go compliment her but she walked off. I asked my husband if he has seen her and he said ,"How could I have mised her, it was gorgeous!"
IMo That is going to be me some day. I am going to be 30 this month,so in ten years, WOW it could be so much longer!
Oh, I have a square-ish face and I am always getting compliments about my hair. I don't think face shape has anything to do with having long hair. )! ,`p "$ !-2 )(( 0 " -, %!,$ -) ( `r "
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Posted By: Kitty Kat
Date Posted: Feb 5, 2007 at 5:12pm
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Wow! I missed this topic! I hijacked one of Bob's postings earlier to ask this very question. I've had long and short hair. The past few years it's been around shoulder length. Last year I decided to grow it longer again. It's almost BSL and I'm 45. Every once in awhile it creeps into my mind that I "shouldn't have long hair." But as I said before, with age comes self assurance and I really don't care what anyone else thinks. I was watching some after-awards show where stylists were critiquing the stars at the show...someone who had their hair up was too severe, someone that had their hair down was too overwhelmed by hair...These women looked stunning to me. You know, it's only someone's opinion. It doesn't make it right. Don't you love makeovers? The first thing they go for is to chop off the hair. I must admit I'm still having a hard time with the gray issue. I do dye my hair right now. I don't have much gray but my hair is very dark so those little grays just pop right out! I just dye it my natural color. It's nice to know all you 40 and 50-something folks are out there! We can always come here for support.
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Posted By: GearMaven
Date Posted: Feb 5, 2007 at 6:36pm
 #d $ !$@ $$p `` Oh, my gosh! You are so right! I'm watching Monday's Oprah right now about aging well, and every single makeover so far, they have chopped off the hair! Aaaaaggggghhh! I'm getting tired of writing to every TV/news message board about these mad stylists attacking women's hair.
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Posted By: UP Lisa
Date Posted: Feb 6, 2007 at 7:32am
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I'm lucky, I guess. I really don't have any gray, yet. And when I do, it won't show very much with my hair color. !!!
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Posted By: Alisa06
Date Posted: Feb 6, 2007 at 8:36am
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Mabye its because I don't have alot of grey yet, but I like the ones I have. I will be 30 this month, so I know I have a ways to go, but I already have quite a few from my temple up. I have really dark hair, and it is coming in silvery so you can see it really well. I guess I figure that I have earned them.Besides,if I am going to go silver, I think it will be great! My great grandma had silver hair and I thought it was gorgeous. Alisa062007-02-06 08:37:23 )! ,`p "$ !-2 )(( 0 " -, %!,$ -) ( `r "
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Posted By: hairbraider
Date Posted: Feb 6, 2007 at 11:03am
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Me too! I homeschooled a girl for 2 years while she was in 10th and 11th grade. I teased her that she was the reason for my gray hair. (I honestly believe some of it was from stress)
I've got a little streak of silver to the side of my crown. In that place it stays hidden pretty well, so I'm ok with it. Though I've been noticing one here and there on top of my head. I think the thing that bothers me most is that those silver hairs seem to be alot more coarse than my other hair.
p.s. I'm 26 years old 0! ! (bb $40 ),"(`r ,"0 " $($ (%,,! $- $(` )2
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Posted By: Alisa06
Date Posted: Feb 6, 2007 at 2:35pm
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Mine are alot more coarse also, and I already have very coarse hair.ugh!I found one the other day that ran most of my length. I told my husband that you could see how long it had benn since I last died my hair.
Homeschooling, Wow! that is hard work. I always wanted to but my husdband doesn't think I could handle it with three kids. )! ,`p "$ !-2 )(( 0 " -, %!,$ -) ( `r "
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Posted By: Pkj049
Date Posted: Feb 6, 2007 at 5:32pm
Well, I am definitely over 40 (not stating how much over 40), and I have been growing my hair out for about 6 years. It was in layers, but I have been trying to achieve a more single-layer look for about 1 year. I recently decided I had to make a decision where I was going with my hair. At the longest layer, I was past BSL and on my way to waist length. I have tried numerous updos on several long hair sites, but I have finally come to the conclusion that I don't have the same type of hair used in most of those styles. No matter how I dry, style, oil or condition, I have thick, heavy hair. Lately, I have been extremely dissatified with how my hair looks in the mirror. I have been pondering for weeks about getting a cut. My husband actually told me to ponder it longer just to make sure. Today, I actually took the long step forward. I had about 6 inches cut from the length. It is close to one length now, and it is still a good length to work with.
I definitely think long hair on over 40 is okay, but it has to work with your lifestyle and of course with your hairtype. Extreme long hair is not for me in this stage of my life. I am satisfied with this length.0
) A
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Posted By: Kitty Kat
Date Posted: Feb 7, 2007 at 5:32am
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PKJ - I know what you mean. I doubt that I would let mine get past BSL. My hair is very heavy too and hard to do a lot of the styles. But at this length, I do manage a lot of different hairstyles...french braids, updos, using barrettes, etc. I agree about long hair working with your lifestyle and hair type. That IS a fear of mine. I don't want long hair just for the sake of long hair. I want it to look nice. I think it does. As I've said before, when we get with today's technology and finally get a digital camera, I'll put a pix on here and you guys can give me your honest opinions.
Alisa and Hairbraider - I like to hear that people actually like and feel proud of their gray hairs. Maybe that will help me accept them!! But I also agree that they are definitely a different texture and I don't like that either!! My hair is very coarse too Alisa. And the grays are coarser and they just pop right out there!!!
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Posted By: Susan W
Date Posted: Feb 7, 2007 at 6:54am
I wonder why gray hair is viewed the way it is - why does everyone
think they absolutely have no choice but to cover it? I can think
of things I heard when I was little on television, a movie where
someone went gray and their daughter said "aren't you going to do
something about that?" and tons of commercials that told you that you
absolutely had to hide it and made life look good for you if you did
(but those shouldn't count, they are only trying to sell hair
dye!).
Gray is a natural part of all of our lives, and I don't see why
something that happens to everyone should be viewed as so
unacceptable. I think its another case of companies trying to
force their views on us to make us buy their product, the same as those
makeover shows' stylists telling us we need short hair so we frequent
salons and give them business. I think the way gray is negatively
viewed is sad really. Gray should be viewed as the earned
experience and wisdom it truly represents.
Edited to add: I don't mean to be harsh on anyone's choice to
cover them, if you want to, go for it! I just mean so many people
here seem to want to stop covering them but feel they can't or
shouldn't, and that's what I think is a problem. I know mine will
grow in a zig zaggy texture just like my brothers, so they will look
different than the rest of my hair too. So, even if I change
their color, they will still effect my appearance, so I may as well
leave them.
Susan W2007-02-07 06:56:21 !)) C ed``d ` %44`r #.,bb $ !,) ! (!) !!$` ,.
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Posted By: Pkj049
Date Posted: Feb 7, 2007 at 9:36am
Susan, I know what you mean about society judging us for growing older. Youth is viewed as hip and generally desired by most people. Look at surveys for example--see how they bundle age groups. The first time I was asked to check the age bracket of 45-60 years I almost had a stroke. I was truely appalled, but I shouldn't have thought that. Society has trained us to "hate our age".
I recently went on vacation with a group of people from my husband's work. They spent the majority of their time acting like it was a college frat party. I can understand having a good time, but it hit me that they were almost trying to "pretend" they were still young and hip. They couldn't see themself having fun without acting like some music video beer commercial. It was sort of pathetic. 0
) A
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Posted By: Alisa06
Date Posted: Feb 7, 2007 at 1:37pm
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Susan, I was just thinking that same thing when I saw a commercial last night for men's hair color. It put life in black and white for a man who had gray hair, and was talking about the gray getting in the way of who you are.The suddenly, when he colored his hair, the world became color again.
My mom has died her hair for so long that she is about to miss, as she calls it, the salt and pepper time in her life. No one peron is going to go gray in the same place or pattern as another. I believe that going gray is an experience that makes us all unique. )! ,`p "$ !-2 )(( 0 " -, %!,$ -) ( `r "
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Posted By: Bob S
Date Posted: Feb 7, 2007 at 2:25pm
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PKJ, I think perhaps your last post spoke volumes. There *is* something disturbing about people pretending to be what they are not. Possibly, you yourself may have felt as if your BS length hair was an attempt to "fool" people, thus your dissatisfaction when looking in the mirror.
I know that you have already cut 6", but really, when I see women over 40, and I know hundreds, with long, well-maintained hair, I simply see beauty. And the older a woman seems to be, the more I am impressed. They are not "kidding" anyone; they have instead rejected silly, arbitrary standards about how they *should* look at a certain age.
Now, even though I think that length usually shaves years off a woman's appearance, a 40 year old woman can't look 20, and 60 can't appear 40. But..., the important thing is that many women *can* be stunning at any age, even at 80 and beyond, *and* long hair can be a big part of one's elegance throughout life. The beauty industry makes millions convincing women that this isn't true. But men know it is propaganda. Oh, my wife is 47 with hip length hair, and she had spikes 9 years ago. (lol) It's never too late!. God bless, Bob Bob S2007-02-07 14:27:49
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Posted By: Pkj049
Date Posted: Feb 7, 2007 at 6:10pm
Oh, don't get me wrong Bob--I love long hair on any age person. I'm just realized with my type hair (thick, heavy, wavy) that extreme long hair is not for me. I certainly don't preach one way or another. It just finally hit me I wasn't going to be able to do the things with my hair that I wanted to do. I can never just walk into a store and buy a cute, little hair accessory because it just won't work in my hair. In fact I probably should be some kind of quality control employee for a hair accessory company--"if it will work in my hair, it will work for anyone!"--slogan.
I certainly wasn't attempting to "fool" anyone with my hair length; at least, I don't think I was. To be honest, I can't really remember what I was thinking about 6 years ago when I start growing it out. I do know that trimming off 6 inches will be "easier" for me to secure in updos. In most categories, my hair would still be considered long; it just won't be considered extremely long. I'm okay with this fact since that is the most important fact in all of this discussion. BE HAPPY WITH YOURSELF!!!
I really don't think propaganda is directed at long-haired people. Most commercializing is directed to the youngster in all of us: "drink this beer to feel, act, and look young," "cover your gray hair to feel and look younger," "take this pill to loose your excess weight and look and feel young." Sorry to point this out to the rest of you guys, but the whole world is directed to the 20-30 something age group. I don't necessarily feel old, but I don't see too many people lining up to get gray highlights in their hair.0
) A
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Posted By: Alisa06
Date Posted: Feb 7, 2007 at 7:14pm
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I also have extremely thick and wavy hair. I can not do most of the updos because it is to heavy. But for me, I can not do them weather my hair is waist length or BSL. Even when it was closer to my shoulders, I still could not put it up because I would just get headaches. I can not use the cute little clips, they just don't work, period. This is just a fact I have had to learn to deal with. For me, having long hair is more important than cute accesories. )! ,`p "$ !-2 )(( 0 " -, %!,$ -) ( `r "
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Posted By: Pkj049
Date Posted: Feb 7, 2007 at 8:07pm
Alisa, you go girl!! Good for you; you know what you want even with the obstacles. I also know what I want, and that entails hair that is now 6 inches shorter. I didn't make this decision because someone told me my hair was too long for my age (although my mom will usually tell me that I look better with shorter hair). I am not having any regrets right now; I am sure on my first bad-hair day (and it happens no matter how long--be honest) I will hate my hair. Right now in the honeymoon phase, I love the length.
Live long the confident person in all of us!!!0
) A
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Posted By: Kitty Kat
Date Posted: Feb 8, 2007 at 5:30am
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It's our culture...just like the media constantly tells us we have to be thin. It's sad. We just have to learn to do the right thing for us and the heck with what society says.
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Posted By: Susan W
Date Posted: Feb 8, 2007 at 6:53am
I agree, all the commercials are telling us we have to try to be
younger, but they tell us that not only because they are playing on our
desires to remember fondly our younger days, they also just want to
sell their product and their using it as a tactic. I don't think its right that people who just
want to convince us to buy their product get to decide to perpetuate
this idea. After all, its the commercials we are constantly
barraged with, and its those that we remember when we look in the
mirror or think of "how we should be". The rest of the media /
fashion follows along with it, but I think this should change, as its
really nothing more than age discrimination! All people should be
viewed as equals, older people should not be so discriminated against
by the media so much.
Susan W2007-02-08 06:54:13 !)) C ed``d ` %44`r #.,bb $ !,) ! (!) !!$` ,.
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Posted By: UP Lisa
Date Posted: Feb 8, 2007 at 6:55am
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Funny, I always thought hair had to be thick and maybe wavy, to look good long. Mine is so baby-fine, I never thought I could have it long and have it look good.
Lisa
2aFii !!!
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Posted By: Pkj049
Date Posted: Feb 8, 2007 at 9:20am
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Personally, I have always wondered about the motivation that makes a person grow their hair extremely long. Sometimes I see the before and after pictures posted and think the person's hair looked healthier shorter. I have never looked routinely to see if that person had finer type of hair; maybe that is the case. Certainly, hair thins out as it grows longer (of course, I never could reach that length myself); so Lisa, you may have made an good observation. If someone has thin, fine hair, will it look good in extreme lengths no matter their age?0
) A
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Posted By: UP Lisa
Date Posted: Feb 8, 2007 at 10:03am
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Well, I think if hair is thin, it is hard for it to look good long. If it is fine and of a normal thickness, then it can look good if it is well cared for. I am lucky that mine is not thin even though it is baby-fine. I do have to be extremely gentle with it to keep it from breaking off and looking awful. Luckily, I'm a patient person. !!!
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Posted By: Pkj049
Date Posted: Feb 8, 2007 at 10:36am
Well, if your hair is fine and normal thickness, you are lucky. You probably don't have to do too much with styling to make it look good. I have thick, wavy hair that requires a lot of handling to get it to look presentable. I have a lot of people compliment me on my hair, but they are usually people who have stick-straight hair. I guess it is one of those things where you envy what you don't have. I've always wanted straight hair, and straight hair people want wavy, curly hair.
I know someone who can wash their hair and not even do more than comb it out afterwards, and it will be perfect. I wish I could do that. Of course, as I have aged, I have noticed some changes (besides graying) in my hair. I don't remember my hair being as frizzy-prone back in the day as it is now, and back then, we had less products to control that kind of thing. Funny, now that I think about it.0
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Posted By: UP Lisa
Date Posted: Feb 8, 2007 at 10:53am
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Well, my hair has never been frizzy. Does your hair tend to be dry? Have you tried CO washing? !!!
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Posted By: Pkj049
Date Posted: Feb 8, 2007 at 11:21am
Of course it is dry, and I have tried everything out there. The best for me is less washing; in fact, the dirter my hair, the better it behaves. Whereas everyone here hates silicones, I love them for their ability to control my hair. I've tried the homemade products, but sorry to report, nothing works as well on my hair as the products sold in the stores except using honey with my conditioner rinse. Honey does actually make my hair softer, but it also makes it wavier. Wavier is not what I usually want. The things that work for me are the things I used in the past (like way past years).
The best thing about my hair is that it is so forgiving. Whereas you have to be gentle with your hair, I can be less careful, and it will not accumulate into damage. 0
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Posted By: UP Lisa
Date Posted: Feb 8, 2007 at 11:55am
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I should try the honey, since I would like more wave in my hair. Just wondering if you tried washing with conditioner, since it works well for lots of people. I use silicones because my hair is impossibly tangly without them. !!!
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Posted By: Astarte
Date Posted: Feb 8, 2007 at 12:00pm
I once had a female professor in her late fifties, with hair slightly below classic length. She wore it in a single braid down her back every day - it was very inspirational to me; she was beautiful.
I think that long hair actually makes people (of any age, race, or gender) look younger. The ability to grow it long is a sign of good health, and good health in old age is a sign of vitality. So maybe they don't necessarily look younger, rather...they look like they are thriving, rather than withering away.
It is also very beautiful that you can see someone's life in their hair almost...it has grown, day by day, with them. Sort of like seeing the stump of a tree with many lines, it only makes it more fascinating.
I'm sorry if this is veering off-topic, but it's the same with greying hair, in my opinion. I can not explain why, but I've always thought that older women who dyed their grey hair only end up looking older.
I fully intend on having a waist-length (or longer) silvery ash mane when I age. (And my poor children will have to visit me at my nursing home every day to oil it and cut out my split ends and braid it....just kidding) :)
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Posted By: UP Lisa
Date Posted: Feb 8, 2007 at 12:26pm
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That's what worries me - not being able to take care of it anymore. !!!
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Posted By: Pkj049
Date Posted: Feb 8, 2007 at 1:07pm
Yes Lisa, I have tried CO washing and just about everything else talked about on here. I have gotten great tips, but mostly the alternative washing methods just don't give me the results that I want. Most people who CO use lighter conditioners, and guess what, lighter conditioners are just a waste on my hair type. That is what I mean when I say "the usual advise on these sites do not work on my hair." I am the definitely the "anti" on everything usual.
Astarte, grey hair is one of those things that can be startling for someone. The problem with grey hairs is that they don't behave like your normal colored hair. They have a mind of their own, and sometimes stand out because they seem to want to show off or something. I choose right now to not cover the grey because with my red-brown color they almost look like hightlights. I could change my mind as they increase in numbers. I can remember thinking when I was younger that I wouldn't dye my hair due to greying, but you never know until you are faced with the fact. The other reason is that I don't like the upkeep involved with covering the grey. The less I can do to my hair the better I like it.
Then again, some may be wondering why I keep it long at all. Well, here rears up the lazy part of me: Long hair is still easier to manage than short hair!!!
With short hair, you have to wash and style much more except the really short styles. I like being able to pull my hair back into a pony or french braid it when I don't want to be bothered. The best thing about it is that the dirter it gets, the better the french braid thing works--easier to get it up and keep it up. So Viva the long hair woman in me even closing in 1/2 a century (oops, gave the age away--memory slips too).0
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Posted By: UP Lisa
Date Posted: Feb 8, 2007 at 1:18pm
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The light conditioner is just for washing. You can use a heavier conditioner after.
Lisa !!!
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Posted By: Bob S
Date Posted: Feb 8, 2007 at 2:47pm
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 Hi PKJ! Since you are happy with your decision, I'm happy! (lol) Your original posting sounded melancholy to me, and many women over 40 I've chatted with in person have betrayed plenty of insecurity about hair length. I'm glad you're among those who are confident in your hair choices.
I must say, though, as a guy who has been enamored of gorgeous hair on a women all my life, I've noticed that among the beauty industry's attempts to make women think they look younger, has been the message to *cut, cut, cut* to lift those age lines. I vehemently disagree that this strategy is successful, at least as it applies to most women. All I know is that the ladies with tresses earn "Wows" from me. And I've noticed that more and more women are thumbing their noses at the "experts", and growing long, at least in NE Pa! Cordially, Bob Bob S2007-02-08 14:48:42
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Posted By: Alisa06
Date Posted: Feb 8, 2007 at 3:03pm
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I am an only girl in a family of 5 kids, and most of my cousins are male.All of them have expressed to me that they love long hair on women. To them it states grace . Mabye that is why I love long hair, I grew up hearing how beautiful it is.
I believe that hair is beautiful no matter the texture, or thickness, if it is well taken of. I have seen waist length hair that screams at me that it has been tortured and it looks horible. If you are going to have long hair than I think you need to be kind to it.
My mom also thinks I look better with shorter hair. She says it accents my face better, but she also loves how soft and silky it is.
I think it is really sad that women think they need to cut their hair as they age. )! ,`p "$ !-2 )(( 0 " -, %!,$ -) ( `r "
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Posted By: Pkj049
Date Posted: Feb 8, 2007 at 3:17pm
I had to go back and read my original posting to see what you were referring to, Bob. I can not see it myself. If I do sound anything, I think it is just resolved. Like I stated in further postings, I still have long hair; it just isn't extremely long any more. My decision to trim 6 inches was not due to pressure about my age. I was looking for a length that is more manageable for my lifestyle. I don't personally think long hair ages a person, but how they wear it can. I was struggling daily trying to style my longer hair.
In my opinion, most guys like longer hair on women anyway. Hasn't it always been the romantic look that guys most want? You know the "he-man" wrapping the hand in the long, flowing locks of your woman. Be honest. I would say that at least 7 out of 10 men surveyed would say they like longer hair on a woman. So the real question could be, do women grow their hair long in order to hold on to their youth?
Anyway, if I lived in NE Pa, I would want the longer hair just for warmth. It's so cold outside even in the southeast. 0
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Posted By: Kimbearly
Date Posted: Feb 8, 2007 at 3:44pm
I plan on growing my hair long forever and not cutting it. I do get trims though because I can not stand raggy ends. It takes me longer to have long hair but it is worth it in the end - no pun intended.  I am 36 so I am getting to that 40 mark. I love long hair on men and woman of all ages, but only if it is well taken care of. It send shivers up my spine when I see long hair that is fried - that just screams YUCK to me. I was just in my local natural store last night and saw a woman there in her 70's. She had hair that must be down to her knees, but she had it braided and then wrapped on her head. It looked beautiful and amazing. What I loved was how it is gray for 75% of the braid but the ends were blond. They say 40 is the start of the new sexy age and I agree!
spelling edit Kimbearly2007-02-08 16:39:20
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Posted By: Kitty Kat
Date Posted: Feb 8, 2007 at 3:59pm
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Who's from NE PA? That's where I am and you're right PKJ, my long hair is warm! My ears freeze when I put it up or in a french braid!!! Also PKJ wanted to agree with you that I'm one of the few that likes cones. Our hair must be similar. My hair is very forgiving also. It's almost BSL and I've yet to find a split end. I've really never found one in all my years. I don't abuse it but I use a hair dryer once in awhile and a curling iron sometimes.
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Posted By: Kitty Kat
Date Posted: Feb 8, 2007 at 4:01pm
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Oh, I see Bob is from NE Pa. And forgive me...I'm in NW Pa!!!!
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Posted By: Pkj049
Date Posted: Feb 8, 2007 at 4:26pm
Yea, Kimberaly, that is what I'm talking about. Is it really worth having extremely long hair at any age if the ends look ragged? You then have to look inward and examine the motivation for growing it long. I looked back and couldn't even remember why I was. If it makes you happy to grow it to your toes, then go for it!!! I personally want a length that I can wear down without worrying about it getting tangled. Most people who post probably wear their hair up 80-90% of the time. I just couldn't maintain that kind of hairdo secondary to the thickness of my hair.
Kitty, our hair sounds similar. My hairdresser was probably more upset than I was when I indicated where I wanted her to cut. She measured and state, "that's 6 inches you know!!!" I said do it. She tried to question me about it because my hair was in excellent shape, but she finally understood my reason. I could blowdry every wash if I wanted; it's the washing that dries my hair out the most not the dryer. I'm lucky to have such tough, strong hair. Most hairdressers in the past have told me that I will be glad of this hair when I get older. Well, I'm older so let the happiness begin!!! 0
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Posted By: Kitty Kat
Date Posted: Feb 8, 2007 at 6:10pm
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PKJ - I know you've mentioned your hair is six inches shorter but in case I missed it, where does it fall now? Shoulder length? You can still pull it back? I think I would either have to have it super short or long enough to pull back. I don't like it when it's in between, especially on a hot summer day. I wouldn't like it on my neck. You said something earlier about liking the length but probably hating it the first time you have a bad hair day. I feel I've been having a bad hair day for a week! I think it might be the weather. Just trying to hang in there...
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Posted By: Pkj049
Date Posted: Feb 8, 2007 at 6:20pm
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No, it is pass my shoulders and about 1/2 way to BSL. I can definitely pull it back and twist it up if I want. Most importantly, I finally got it close to one length. That is one goal I can remember having when growing it out. I had to have layers at first because of the thickness, but I have been waiting for the layer that use to be my bangs I guess to get long enough. The best part is that I can't feel it pulling as much being shorter now.0
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Posted By: Kitty Kat
Date Posted: Feb 9, 2007 at 5:38am
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That seems to be a nice manageable length for me also but I'm going to go a little further this time. I had bangs all my life and finally grew them out two years ago so my hair is all one length. I've always had hairstylists try to talk me into getting layers. I've tried really long layers and I've just always thought my hair looked crappy with them. Maybe it would look okay if I curled and styled it but I don't want to get into that. I must say I miss my bangs. I just think they make me look a little softer. But I have a very short forehead so I probably look better without them. Also...I always had to curl my bangs. My hair is wavy/curly but my bangs were stick straight. Without bangs, I don't have to do anything...if our electric went out, I wouldn't have to panic like so many women do!!!! Just put my hair up and go! That's a nice feeling.
Your hair was really long if it's still between your shoulders and BSL after getting six inches cut off. I had a hairstylist once that was very encouraging to me to grow my hair out. She would have been sad for me to cut off much length too. I probably wouldn't have had the patience to grow it so long at the time without her. Those stylists are hard to come by though. Most want to "get that weight off and open up your face"!!!!!
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Posted By: Susan W
Date Posted: Feb 9, 2007 at 7:03am
Kitty Kat: Don't let a short forehead dissuade you from bangs if
you really want them. My forehead is not that short, but short
enough that someone once told me I wouldn't look good with bangs.
All you have to do is cut enough bangs so that the line where they
start is further back on your head (where any normal bangs look like
they start), then no one can even tell what your forehead looks
like. I tend to overdo it the first time because mine part and
don't cover my forehead the first 3 days, so you kind of have to be
careful at first. Of course if you have to mess with them in the
morning, I could see why you wouldn't like them, I just leave mine
flat.
!)) C ed``d ` %44`r #.,bb $ !,) ! (!) !!$` ,.
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Posted By: Pkj049
Date Posted: Feb 9, 2007 at 9:46am
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Kat, your bangs probably act that way because of the lack of bulk compared to the rest of your hair. That was why I desired to get to one length. I thought all those long layers acted too independently, and I wanted a more uniformed look. I always thought people with too long of a forehead needed bangs, but I guess, thinking about it, too short would probably need them as well. I like the look of bangs but definitely not the unkeep. Usually as soon as I cut bangs, I am making a goal to grow them out the next day. Figures, are we ever truly happy with our hair at any age? 0
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Posted By: Bob S
Date Posted: Feb 9, 2007 at 3:37pm
This may surprise you, PKJ, but I agree with every last word of your reply to me, even your thought that sloppy or over-processed long hair looks unappealing. And, maybe the "melancholy" was strictly *mine*. (LOL)
The only divergence of opinion that we may have, gleaned from your writings, is that I almost never think that shorter "long" lengths look *better*. But, I believe that a woman should wear the hair length that she enjoys most, and I find many styles other than *very long* attractive. There does come a point where a trim is desirable for everyone, IMO, but I think that a *little* wildness at one's ends is the proverbial icing on the cake. But, I am a guy, what would you expect?  Blessings, Bob P.S. One more thing: The bitter cold weather freezing her ears is what caused DW to start growing from pixie length in 1998. So I suppose that there is at least one good reason to be thankful for wintertime! OK, OK, the scenery is beautiful, too. I love watching it from indoors! Bob  |
Posted By: Pkj049
Date Posted: Feb 9, 2007 at 4:33pm
I can certainly understand why the colder weather would cause a person to grow their hair longer. Here in the southeast, we deny winter until the snow/ice is hitting the ground. I definitely left mine down today with the thermometer at 27. You see a southern so denies cold weather that I actually saw someone wearing capri pants with a shortsleeved shirt today (but thankfully no open-toed shoes). Most southerns in this area never wear hats unless going to a sporting event with their team logo on the cap or to rub it in when their team wins.
I wonder if the people living in upper NY state think the scenery is beautiful at what is it now--100 inches! 0
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Posted By: Kitty Kat
Date Posted: Feb 10, 2007 at 9:38am
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Susan,
One of my favorite hairstyles has always been long hair with straight bangs but for some reason, I think I look absolutely awful with straight bangs. So, even though I love them, I keep reminding myself there's no upkeep with no bangs for me!!! I wish they had clip in bangs I could wear whenever I wanted them!!!! I remember reading either here or the long hair forum how to pin up the front of your hair and wear a handband over it to make it look like you had bangs. Apparently I didn't do a very good job...looked pretty bad!!! Yesterday I wore my hair in a really high pony tail and bobby pinned the jagged ends underneath. I got a lot of compliments on it.
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Posted By: DaveDecker
Date Posted: Feb 11, 2007 at 5:08pm
t`"( 4@ 0 ` @ `
I think such things are available for sale online. Any web search should turn up at least several choices. Also, don't those kiosks at malls (that sell fake hair) have them too?
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Posted By: Kitty Kat
Date Posted: Feb 12, 2007 at 5:31am
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Thanks Dave...I'll have to check that out. I know they have clip in hair and pony tails but I never really thought they might have bangs.
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Posted By: Army Girl
Date Posted: Mar 31, 2007 at 10:15am
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I TOTALLY agree that an older woman with long beautiful hair is GORGEOUS. Men know it is!
My grandmother never cut her hair her entire life. She had thin hair and it never got past her hips but it was beautiful. As a little girl I used to love to sit and comb it. She had beautiful tortoise shell combs from Spain.
I had BSL hair and cut it off into a Pixie. My husband slept on the couch for two days and wouldn't speak to me. Sigh. It is now just 4 inches shy of where it was 2 years ago. I am going ALL THE WAY now and grow it as long as it is able. I have had thigh length hair before and am wondering if I can achieve floor length?!! ! ) `b !41bA ))
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Posted By: Bob S
Date Posted: Apr 1, 2007 at 5:54pm
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Hey Lori! Welcome. Don't feel too badly about your surprise short haircut. I doubt that you cut it to intentionally upset your husband. You sound as if you love him very much. There is no way that most women can understand exactly how much of a turn-on long hair is for many guys. In fact, it is a woman's #1 physical attribute, in the eyes of many guys. BS length hair was probably acceptable or at least bearable for your guy, but short was just too much. Even if he had told you many times how much he loved it long, (and many guys do not), you possibly thought that it's not *that* big a deal. Esp. in an era when all the latest trendy cuts are fawned over by other women in one's family and workplace.
When my wife went short over a decade ago, it was partly my fault, as I had bought the silly idea that short locks were indeed "approriate" at a certain age, around 35. But when it happened, somewhat suddenly, I was pretty miserable for a few days, b/c I felt that she had some time left before the "inevitable" cut.
Luckily for me, unlike some guys I know, I do not hate *all* short hairdos. (Two of her brothers practically consider it a sin for a woman to wear any type of short cut. When a woman is out of earshot, one has even got his son exhorting, "Grow some hair!"  ) But for me, eventually I accepted the idea that I would have a pixied wife for life. I remember asking her to just keep it in a style that *I* liked. To me, there *were* a few nice things about her short hair which I regarded as consolations. For one, each month without cutting created a different look. Thus, after about three months or so, a new haircut really looked fresh. Plus, I had fun rustling my hands through her short nape, which couldn't be messed. So, I managed. Of course, short hair became her, too. But, the lovely long-haired photo of DW stayed in my wallet, and I really loved looking at it. And I'm so thankful every day that she has chosen to grow itall back, longer and prettier than ever. So, best of luck to you, Lori. Bob |
Posted By: Army Girl
Date Posted: Apr 1, 2007 at 7:36pm
| "d` (& @$ @ `e$
Bob, Thanks for the encouragement. Indeed you are right. I was working part-time and had a 1 year old toddler. I felt like I couldn't handle having to deal with long hair anymore. Not to mention I wanted a change. I REALLY thought he would like it!! I got home and he just stared at me, shook his head and walked away.
For a long time I didn't understand. I kept saying "You're acting like I cut off a LIMB! It *will* grow back!" He kept saying "You don't understand." THANKFULLY he never verbalized his feelings or I'd have hit the roof. 
Now that it is growing back he loves to play with it again.
 The biggest thing that influenced me to go long again was watching my daughter's hair grow. She is four and we have never cut the length. We are growing out the bangs now. As her hair got longer I kept thinking "Hey, I use to look like that!" She is such a cutie and has the most gorgeous thick main of hair. It is simply beautiful! Dark Brown hair and Sky Blue eyes! WHAT A COMBO!! She is a sweetie and such a joy. Here is a pic of her hair 6 months ago. Her hair is about 4 inches longer now.
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Posted By: Alisa06
Date Posted: Apr 2, 2007 at 11:14am
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Hi, Lori,
Your daughter has gorgeous hair!With blue eyes also, I bet she is just beautiful! I bet you and your husband are dreading the upcoming teen years.I know we sure are! She is very blessed to have a mother who know how to take care of it. I have seen little girls with long hair that look just horrible because it is not taken care of. What a shame. My own daughter who is 6 has hair about a couple inches above the bottom of her shoulder blades. I kept it very short until about 9 months ago, because it was so very thin. It has thickened up some, but still has a little ways to go. I had a baby fine head of hair untill I was 4 and now it is incredibly thick, so I keep telling my husband that there is still hope yet.  |
Posted By: Army Girl
Date Posted: Apr 13, 2007 at 2:03pm
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Alisa,
yeah thick hair in childhood is no guarantee of thick adult hair either. My MIL had gorgeous thick hair as a child but has terribly thinning hair. She is not open to discussing it so I don't try recommending options to her.
My sister had thin hair as a child and thick adult hair so you are right...your daughter should take after you!!
! ) `b !41bA ))
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Posted By: Alisa06
Date Posted: Apr 13, 2007 at 5:19pm
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My husband is hopeing she will get my hair.He has really fine hair, but a ton of it. I have really course hair that takes sooo much conditioner. For her sake I am hopeing it will be a mixture of both of us.She just wants,"Hair like Rapunzel" as she says. )! ,`p "$ !-2 )(( 0 " -, %!,$ -) ( `r "
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Posted By: Merle T
Date Posted: Apr 13, 2007 at 10:35pm
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I'm 50, and I have long hair brown hair with just a little grey and a beard. It is not a problem. You can wear your hair how you like at any age.
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Posted By: Army Girl
Date Posted: Apr 14, 2007 at 6:59am
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I got a really nice complement the other day. I work with a lot of young soldiers. They know I have long hair but can't tell how long because it is always in a bun. Yesterday I was with a few of them including a female soldier. They asked me how long my hair was and I told them it is 22 inches long and then pointed to where it would fall.
Now mind you my hair is NOT that long!! But it is longer than any other older women they know. They all nooded their heads in wonder and one guy said "That's cool!". LOL ! ) `b !41bA ))
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Posted By: Bob S
Date Posted: Apr 14, 2007 at 2:16pm
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Get used to it, Army Girl! (lol) For every guy who has the nerve to say it, there are hundreds thinking it. Esp. if you live in an area where most "older" women wear "age-appropriate" haircuts. Thankfully, this attitude is SLOWLY going away, contributing to the aesthetic improvement of NE Pa. Blessings, Bob
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