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Negative Haircut Comments

Printed From: HairBoutique.com
Category: Hair Talk
Forum Name: Short Hair
Forum Description: Devoted to the special needs of short hair
URL: /forum_posts.php?TID=33089
Printed Date: Jan 12, 2025 at 9:42pm


Topic: Negative Haircut Comments
Posted By: Lorryann
Subject: Negative Haircut Comments
Date Posted: Jul 17, 2005 at 3:19pm

Hi!

I've only posted a couple of times so I'm still feeling like a newbie.

I had my long hair cut short last winter.  My hair is baby fine with just enough wave and cowlicks to drive anyone insane.  When I was making my final decision to go short, I did the image thing at the salon, and was always discouraged from the nape-lengths, etc, because I am tall, large-boned, curvy, and a bit voluptuous--if yiou know what I mean.

But my face is oval, and I am not fat, so to everyone at the salon's surprise, the short haircut looked good.

I loved it, but wasn't feeling very stylish or chic.  My hair stylist eventually asked if she could cut my bangs to my forehead, and when this was done, it was clear that I would look good in an extremely short style, which is what I now have.  The length is somewhere between a long buzzcut and an ultra short pixie.  With the humidity around, it sticks up and is more of a buzzed style.

My friends and coworkers think it looks great, but the problem I have comes from complete strangers.  Last night I was having dinner with some friends at a popular restaurant and dance club.  While we were in the bar waiting for our table, a couple of nitwits started making loud comments about my haircut  They seemed to think this was amusing.  

I know this should not bother me, and for the most part, it doesn't.  I do not think my haircut is extreme, though it is very, very short.  This was not the first or only time I have had to respond to questions or comments about my haircut, which is nowhere near a headshave.  I don't mind questions or comments from people who ask what my male partner thinks, or how do I like it, etc., and I've also had guys ask me how to convince their gals to go short.  But it's the people who make the negative and judgemental comments that can really tick me off!

Has anyone experiened this? And how do you deal with it? Last night, ignoring did not seem to help.

 

Thanks!

 

 

 

 

 

 




Replies: 34
Posted By: Lorryann
Date Posted: Jul 17, 2005 at 3:19pm

Hi!

I've only posted a couple of times so I'm still feeling like a newbie.

I had my long hair cut short last winter.  My hair is baby fine with just enough wave and cowlicks to drive anyone insane.  When I was making my final decision to go short, I did the image thing at the salon, and was always discouraged from the nape-lengths, etc, because I am tall, large-boned, curvy, and a bit voluptuous--if yiou know what I mean.

But my face is oval, and I am not fat, so to everyone at the salon's surprise, the short haircut looked good.

I loved it, but wasn't feeling very stylish or chic.  My hair stylist eventually asked if she could cut my bangs to my forehead, and when this was done, it was clear that I would look good in an extremely short style, which is what I now have.  The length is somewhere between a long buzzcut and an ultra short pixie.  With the humidity around, it sticks up and is more of a buzzed style.

My friends and coworkers think it looks great, but the problem I have comes from complete strangers.  Last night I was having dinner with some friends at a popular restaurant and dance club.  While we were in the bar waiting for our table, a couple of nitwits started making loud comments about my haircut  They seemed to think this was amusing.  

I know this should not bother me, and for the most part, it doesn't.  I do not think my haircut is extreme, though it is very, very short.  This was not the first or only time I have had to respond to questions or comments about my haircut, which is nowhere near a headshave.  I don't mind questions or comments from people who ask what my male partner thinks, or how do I like it, etc., and I've also had guys ask me how to convince their gals to go short.  But it's the people who make the negative and judgemental comments that can really tick me off!

Has anyone experiened this? And how do you deal with it? Last night, ignoring did not seem to help.

 

Thanks!

 

 

 

 

 

 



Posted By: Kuroneko
Date Posted: Jul 18, 2005 at 3:07am

I don't think you should have to respond to bad remarks.  *shrugs*  You can just feel better from knowing that every time those people open their mouths, anyone in earshot will know they are idiots.

! % Aaebade d !, ` . 4``


Posted By: Kimblonde35
Date Posted: Jul 18, 2005 at 8:04am

Hi, your hair sounds cute! :-)

Some people can't except something different in this world, most people think that we all should be walking around with the same kind of hairstyle,  now wouldn't that be boring??

I love to be different!  My family is the same way, asking me why I would have my hair short and spiked like this and I should let it grow long (well I did have long hair but then they harped about it then too) so some people you just can't please, even in your own family UGH!!

But they are the ONLY ones who are negative about my hairstyle, whenever I go somewhere people are saying that they love my hairstyle and that they wished that they were daring enough to do the same with there hair.  I just haven't heard any negative comments from other people YET! haha

So you will always have someone who you can't please!

It really doesn't matter what other people say,  it's what YOU think about your hair, and if YOU like it then that's all that really matters!

 

Kim

! % Pi n``era !! 8bp '.4`` ( $% $(%- $- %,4b /4


Posted By: eKatherine
Date Posted: Jul 18, 2005 at 9:29am
You should have spoken to the management. There's no excuse for customers harassing other customers.


Posted By: Lorryann
Date Posted: Jul 18, 2005 at 8:55pm

Thanks!!!

I did let the management know what happened, but I'm not sure if the "manager" took me seriously.  A call the following day over his head to the supervisor was far more productive.

I love my hair short, and the shorter it has gotten, the better I like it.  If anyone had told me a year ago I'd have a buzz-cut and love it--I would have thought they were nuts.  But my hair had driven me crazy my whole life.  I went through zillionsof jugs jugs of gel, thickener, mousse, hairspray--no matter what hairstyle I had--it took HOURS of work in the morning.  The buzz takes 15 minutes (to tame the cowlicks). It may not be as flattering as one of my 2-hour "do's"--but who cares?  At least I have my sanity--and tons of leftover time in the morning.

Lorryann

 

 



Posted By: Kuroneko
Date Posted: Jul 19, 2005 at 2:40am

I'm sure it's just as flattering, if not more so, than the styles that took two hours and a heap of product ^_^ .  Especially with fine hair, excessive product tends to make it look flat and greasy, anyway, so you're probably better off as you are.

! % Aaebade d !, ` . 4``


Posted By: eatgreenjello
Date Posted: Jul 19, 2005 at 2:19pm

Congratulations on the short pixie.  I love to see women with really short hair (partially because I can't stand to have lots of hair), it tells me that they are not conforming to society, and they want to show off their lovely facial structure.  It takes guts to do a pixie!  I'd love to see a picture of your hair before and after. 

Anyway about the people chuckling at you; are you sure they were chuckling at you?  If they were, they are stupid and mean and don't deserve to have any candy.



Posted By: eatgreenjello
Date Posted: Jul 19, 2005 at 2:20pm
BTW, Kuroneko, I like your new picture!  It looks so different from your last one.  Your smile is great.


Posted By: Bob S
Date Posted: Jul 19, 2005 at 4:13pm

You must accept it as a fact of life that some men (and women) loathe short hair on women. Probably the nastiest comment you'll have said to your face is something like, "Why did you do that?" But behind your back, there *will* be incredibly rotten things said about your decision, esp. if it is very short, (none of which I would repeat here). I hear them all the time from people who know of my own love for *long* hair. However, even though I'm usually disappointed that pretty tresses have disappeared, about 75% of the time I think the new cut is at least decent.

The fact is that you like it, and most of your friends think it looks good. Who cares what others think? It's a big world, and you can't change much about it. You *can* express to those who make cutting remarks that you feel sad or angry about them. Some will care, and not do it again to another. Best, Bob  



Posted By: DaveDecker
Date Posted: Jul 19, 2005 at 7:55pm
Originally Posted By: Bob S<"p $@ P `a

Bob,

I don't think the problem is Lorryann's accepting that some people don't like short hair on women (what makes you think she doesn't already know this?).  Furthermore, why do suggest to her that the comments she doesn't hear are probably worse?  Are you intentionally trying to make her feel badly, or just more angry?

Originally Posted By: Bob S<"p &$ @ ``$

And lastly, do not go about anymore on this board stating your preferences for long hair in this way.  Nobody on the short hair board cares about your specific disappointment.  They actually like short hair... and prefer it to long hair.  Yes, it's true.

Consider this a warning.  If you continue, I will edit or delete such postings from you on this board -- and warn you again.  If you persist, you may be banned.

DaveDecker38552.8317361111


Posted By: Kuroneko
Date Posted: Jul 20, 2005 at 12:19am

I took that pic of myself with Lynn's camera while she was out of the room ^_^ .  I do think I look better in pics while smiling all happy, though she doesn't agree.  *shrugs*  She never likes the same stuff I do.

Originally Posted By: eatgreenjelloT %0` $#` H $

! % Aaebade d !, ` . 4``


Posted By: eatgreenjello
Date Posted: Jul 20, 2005 at 9:13am

Thank you Dave for standing up for us short-hair lovers.  I couldn't believe that Bob said those things about short hair on our beloved short hair board.

 



Posted By: Bob S
Date Posted: Jul 20, 2005 at 2:28pm

I really don't know why my honest comments would upset anyone. My wife has been bombarded with negative, rude remarks about her LONG hair on occasion. I prefer to think it's simply jealousy, embarrassment (from our girls- i.e., having a mom with extraordinarily long hair) or stodginess (her mom and other older relatives). It comes with the territory of venturing outside the norm. My advice remains: This is reality, so develop a thick skin and forget about it.

P.S. There are new folks here all the time. That is the only reason I am repetitive about my prediliction. Sorry! Also, in this case, to let people know that even some long hair fanatics are not hostile toward the "other side". Thanks, Bob



Posted By: ssjockey
Date Posted: Jul 20, 2005 at 3:10pm

Bob,

I think you are missing the point.  I don't think your comments are dishonest, rather not appropriate for this forum.  Your comments came off as telling the person who received negative comments "well, you got what you deserved!".  That may not have been your intent, however that is how it was taken (at least the way I took it).  When you respond like you do on this board, you come off callous.  You may say "get a thick skin", but people come here for support, not ridicule.  Save your "got what you deserved" posts for the long hair board.

Originally Posted By: Bob S<#P $ @ ``a


Posted By: Rod
Date Posted: Jul 20, 2005 at 3:28pm
[QUOTE=Bob S]

P.S. There are new folks here all the time. That is the only reason
I



Posted By: makeitshort
Date Posted: Jul 20, 2005 at 3:48pm
All this begs the question Bob, as you obviously prefer long hair, why do you post here?  Do you want every woman to grow their hair long?


Posted By: Lorryann
Date Posted: Jul 20, 2005 at 3:50pm

Hi Everyone,

I didn't expect my post to start a "thing" going, but here is my two-cents worth.

Bob, I respect your right to your preferences and opinions.  The world would be mighty dull if we all liked the same things, and had the same tastes in everything.

But I have a question--if you are a "long hair lover" then why are you reading and posting on a message board for "short" hair?  I realize you have every right to be here, but I don't understand your interest, or your desire to comment.

And yes, I agree that your post had a "you asked for it" undertone.  The people I encountered at the club most definitely were clueless, and, most unfortunately, drawing conclusions about my lifestyle based on my haircut.  One came right out and said I looked ugly. Very, very sad.  Are these the type of comments you are referring to--the ones allegedly being made "behind my back?"  Why would you suggest such a thing?

And as for the existence of those who "loathe" short hair on women--no kidding!!!  My partner was one of them, until he watched as I went short. I find that most people are able to keep an open mind,  "Different Strokes for Different Folks."

I shared this thread with my partner, he thought it was a hoot.  But his ultimate question was the same as mine--what is a long-hair afficionado doing on a short hair message board?  While I firmly believe thet we are are all entitled to our opinions, why express such a dissenting opinion here?

No offense intended ot taken--just a question.  I'm new to the world of really short hair.

BTW, I'll be going to a barbershop this weekend for a short buzz--can't wait!  I'll post some pix if I can get my computer working. I figured I may as well go all the way while I still have the nerve, and before I am forced to grow it out a bit for the winter.  It's too cold in New England to be buzzed all winter.

Best to All,

Lorryann

 

 

 



Posted By: fatmoogas
Date Posted: Jul 20, 2005 at 4:56pm
Don't think Bob really meant any harm. He is a courteous and thoughtful poster. Probably he made a mistake in stating his unequivocal and partisan preference for long hair on this, the short hair, board.(!% Qa da d`` ) $ br


Posted By: Lorryann
Date Posted: Jul 20, 2005 at 8:11pm

You are right. Thanks for your insight.

Lorryann



Posted By: HAWG
Date Posted: Jul 20, 2005 at 8:22pm

I'm going to second fatmoogas' opinion regarding Bob.

Can't wait to see pictures Lorryann.  Wish I could go with you to the barbershop.  Love seeing a woman in a barbershop.




Posted By: eatgreenjello
Date Posted: Jul 20, 2005 at 8:52pm

AS for BOB = I like to visit the long hair discussion forum, even though I have short hair.  BUT, if I do post a reply on the long hair board, I carefully think about what I say before I post, to make sure I don't hurt the feelings of the long hair beauties.  And I especially wouldn't get on the long hair board and state my preference for short hair.  It wouldn't be appropriate on the long hair board.  That's why Admin set up these forums to be separated into groups for long hair, short hair, african american hair, dyed hair, and so on.

My thinking is a very different from yours.  I admire people with all lengths of hair because it is their individual style and says something about them.  Even though I like short hair on ME, I appreciate all hair lengths and styles and colors that other people choose to have.  That's the beauty of hair, it's all so different.



Posted By: Rod
Date Posted: Jul 20, 2005 at 9:14pm
Originally Posted By: fatmoogas#d $ $ ` @ab `

Bob regularly posts on the short hair board. The most genuine thing he
did was state his preference for long hair. The problem is that he posts
continually emphasizing that preference, especially when someone with
long hair wants to get opinions about short hair.


Posted By: DaveDecker
Date Posted: Jul 21, 2005 at 7:03pm
Originally Posted By: Bob S< 4@ % @, @ b d

Bob,

Not sure how much I can add to what eatgreenjello, ssjockey, Rod, makeitshort, Lorryann, fatmoogas, and Hawg have said to you regarding your comments (thank you all).  But I'll give it a try, even though you seem to be unrepentant and entirely unwilling to learn from such incidents.  Your "Sorry!" rings hollow.

Ask yourself this question -- why is the moderator -- who is himself an unabashed fan of long hair -- giving you grief for waxing poetic about long hair?  BECAUSE YOU ARE DOING SO IN THE INAPPROPRIATE FORUM. (Yes, I feel I need to scream).  If you desire to post in this forum, you MUST be respectful to its purpose.

If you are concerned about your wife, then please do not even suggest that she visit this forum.  Alright?  And it is okay if you are aware of the existence of this forum, and you decide not to tell her about it.  We promise we won't tell her about it.



Posted By: Bob S
Date Posted: Jul 22, 2005 at 3:47pm

Sheesh, Dave, it must be hard to believe that I actually LIKE certain short hairdos, including pixies, wedges and bobs on many women. I loved pretty short hairstyles before I had ever seen truly beautiful *long* hair, and this wasn't until Jr. High. On occasion I even personally compliment a woman who is meticulous about making her short hair look pretty.

 I only visit the Short board if I see an intrigueing headine. I enjoy philosophical discussions about hair and everything else. My qualifiers about loving length are to prevent anyone from thinking I am trying to post stealthily. In the future, I will refrain from any discussion of length on this board. It clearly makes many here uncomfortable. Cordially, Bob



Posted By: fatmoogas
Date Posted: Jul 22, 2005 at 3:57pm
If you refrain from talking about length bob, there won't be much else to talk about.(!% Qa da d`` ) $ br


Posted By: SanFranBrent
Date Posted: Jul 22, 2005 at 5:41pm

I once, a couple of years back, went on the Long Hair Forum, expressed my preference for women in short hair, and tried to talk a young lady into getting her long hair cut short.

Dave Decker set me straight and asked me to not post such posts on the Long Haired board again, so I haven't.

That is the lesson Bob needs to learn. That this board is for encouraging or discussing or appreciating various short hairstyles, much as the Long Hair board is for encouraging, discussing or appreciating long hairstyles.

There is such a thing as "board appropriate" comments. There is no reason to destroy the atmosphere and purpose of the board by indicating you don't prefer the hairstyles of what the board is about.

Perhaps Bob would enjoy the long hair forum considering his preferences in women's hairstyles.

SanFranBrent38555.7507638889 %,


Posted By: DaveDecker
Date Posted: Jul 22, 2005 at 6:34pm
Thank you Brent, for stating your point so well.

Originally Posted By: Bob S d`"($ @ `` $

You still don't get it, Bob.  I was afraid of that.

The concern isn't about whether or not you happen to like certain short hairstyles.  It's what you say about long hair here that isn't acceptable.

I don't doubt your honesty.  And I believe that you are speaking from your heart.  But what I hear you saying is that you can't be bothered with considering your audience before you blurt out whatever is on your mind.  And that attitude just won't fly here.

I am going to ask you to refrain from posting any thoughts or feelings regarding long hair within the short hair forum, unless and until you understand what I'm telling you, and you realize that many of the things you have posted here are unacceptable.



Posted By: Bob S
Date Posted: Jul 23, 2005 at 2:59pm

No Dave, I do understand. The point was clear enough that I did not reply to it specifically. The only time I ever tell anyone here that I think they would look better staying "long" is if they specifically ask for opinions. I will no longer do that here.

BTW, I do frequent the "long" board, Brent, of course! For whatever reason, though, I am not troubled in the least when, if asked, someone thinks a long-haired gal should go short on the "long" board. I am a believer in a free forum of ideas on any board, but I'm not running this site. I am thankful for those who do, and I respect them. Happiness to all, Bob



Posted By: DaveDecker
Date Posted: Jul 23, 2005 at 3:54pm
Bob,

Thank you for recognizing that the Hairboutique has specific boards for specific purposes, and agreeing to participate within that framework.



Posted By: Rod
Date Posted: Jul 23, 2005 at 6:26pm
If someone goes to the long hair board and asks whether they should go
short, they're more interested in hearing why they shouldn't. That's
what they'll get there. If they go to the General, Teen, Asian or any other
more general board they are interested in a wide range of opinions. On a
short hair board, they want to hear should.

They may be nervous. Maybe everyone they know is telling them not to cut
it. Maybe they don't know any males that like short hair. They want to hear
they won't look like a boy and won't be ugly. Chances are people here will
tell them to cut it even if it isn't their long hair is beautiful and even if most
people might think it looks better long. They want to hear why it's a good
idea. And there should be a place where they get just that.


Posted By: eatgreenjello
Date Posted: Jul 23, 2005 at 9:39pm

Originally Posted By: Rod !p`$ %4@" d` d`

Rod, are you really Bob?  I can't believe you just posted that here on the short hair board after all the trouble Bob got into for his nasty opinions on short hair ON THE SHORT HAIR BOARD.

Dave, can you just end this post?  These guys are ridiculous, and they just don't get it.  "They want to hear they won't look like a boy and won't be ugly", quoted by Rod.  Give me a break, stick to the long hair boards.  There's no more room for you here on the SHORT HAIR BOARD.  = eatgreenjello is pissed, and that takes a lot!



Posted By: Paulbob
Date Posted: Jul 23, 2005 at 11:20pm
Originally Posted By: eatgreenjello<4@@ '`A L`

Rod, are you really Bob?  I can't believe you just posted that here on the short hair board after all the trouble Bob got into for his nasty opinions on short hair ON THE SHORT HAIR BOARD.

Dave, can you just end this post?  These guys are ridiculous, and they just don't get it.  "They want to hear they won't look like a boy and won't be ugly", quoted by Rod.  Give me a break, stick to the long hair boards.  There's no more room for you here on the SHORT HAIR BOARD.  = eatgreenjello is pissed, and that takes a lot!

[/QUOTE]

 

Take it easy eatgreenjello just count to 10 and you will be ok plus I wouldn't blame you for getting mad  at Bob and Rod

 

Paulbob



Posted By: Rod
Date Posted: Jul 24, 2005 at 12:44am
Originally Posted By: eatgreenjello< 4@@ '`A L`


Rod, are you really Bob?



Posted By: SanFranBrent
Date Posted: Jul 24, 2005 at 1:44am

EatGreenJello, I understand completely what you are saying lovely lady.

Rod, I am a man in my 40s. I have been all over the U.S., Canada, and Europe. I have never in my life ever heard any grown man over the age of 20, say privately or publically, that a woman with short hair looked like a boy or was ugly because of her short hair. Only immature teenaged boys or people with incredibly juvenile personalities would say something so stupid.

Rod, I have been reading and writing on this website for two years now. This is about the tenth time you have said that most men prefer long hair on women. First of all, that isn't true. Some men like short hair on women, some like medium length bob cuts, others like long hair on women, men have their individual preferences.

Even if it were true, obviously it is very condescending to say that, and totally inappropriate for the short hair board.

Please, if you would, refrain from this sort of condescending attitude on this board. There are many lovely women here who wear their hair short that really don't need that sort of negative attitude towards their hairstyles. Have a little sensitivity and common sense about the people that frequent this short hair board.

Thanks Dave for the compliment on what I wrote. You are doing an excellent job monitoring all of this bull.

%,


Posted By: DaveDecker
Date Posted: Jul 24, 2005 at 11:11am
I think I "know" Rod well enough to know that he is definitely a fan of short hair... (and he is not Bob).  Several are taking Rod to task for suggesting that most people might like long hair better.  Why is it inconceivable for a person to be an admirer, supporter, wearer (etc) of a certain hair length or style, while simultaneously believing that their preference is not shared by the majority of people?  Brent's criticism of Rod is ironic, as he says, "even if it were true..."



Enough.  It seems that this whole discussion continues to generate ill will expressed in various ways to various people.  Therefore I am closing the thread.

Peace out.




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