Sensual or sexual?

As a woman who is growing out her hair, I enjoy the sensuality of it.
I love taking care of it and handling it.
I look forward to the sensation of my hair caressing my neck and settling on my shoulders.
This is my personal relationship with my hair and it is sensual.

I would like to understand the male perspective on this (and the female perspective where it differs from my own), specifically:

Is female hair a sexual trigger in the opposite sex, and if so, why?

Sound like a stupid question, but heres my perspective:

The covering (and growing) of female hair is part of many traditional religions and a woman wearing unbound, uncovered hair is seen as a wanton. Hair on a woman is dangerous for society....

Men and women both have hair - same stuff, same structure - no gender difference. ....correct?

What if any, is the sexual trigger?
Is it purely sensual as in - it is something both men and women can enjoy on a physical but non-sexual level?
What does long female hair represent symbolically in the male psyche?
If long hair is a sexual trigger in men, than a man can get excited by any long hair, including that on another man.
Do Jung or Freud have anything to say on this matter?

Sorry for the many questions...can anyone enlighten me with their views?

Thank you

Uzma

Hello Uzma,

I will certainly enjoy reading all the messages you will get. Great questions!

Personally I started to grow my hair because in my horoscope leo is not far from my personality and many times I `ve been told that I have a mane like a lion lol. It is very much part of my feminine trait.
It is part of my identity.
Mr. Happy made a good comment about people`s view points outside this board.
Two weeks ago I was at a dance and I was explaining to the guys and my girlfriends how Mr. Sniffer was at one of those dances three years ago and everysince I wonder what happen to him and that I would run fast.if I see him again......... Anyways everyone at the table couldn`t believe that there would be such a web site on hair conversation in the first place and secondly that someone would actually take the time to sniff my hair while dancing lol. So guess what Mr. X was talking to Mr. Y about this bet that if I ask either of them up for a dance they would sniff my hair to tease me and sure enough they did. That question about does men really prefer long hair on women have come up having a drink at the pup with my friends and noone could answer it. lol

It really comes down to chemistry. Now if Steven Seagal would walk in front of me without his tiny ponytail would I still be interested in him? lol The other day I did find a man that look similar to Steven Seagal in a coffee shop and that was my best morning ever lol. I really think its the whole picture. long hair only looks great on someone that is meant to have long hair and only them to my opinion would set off this chemistry.

Uzma, my relationship with my hair is relatively like yours.
I love this verse in the Bible where it`s said:
``But if a woman has long hair , it is a glory for her.``
My boyfriend really enjoys it in a sensual manner first. But it`s a + for sex too.
He finds it feminine and soft. He doesn`t like straight hair.`( I have curly hair ).

I think that men can have long hair but at least a little shorter than his girlfriend or wife.

Hey Uzma!
Interesting post...I think that hair is definitely a sexual feature on men and women. Long hair on women is often sort of a symbol of femininity to men and a source of pride and competition to women. Example; when a girl is thinking about cutting her hair, a lot of times guys will tell her not to, and girls will tell her to go for it (this is a generalization, but I think its mostly true). I think that since not many guys have long hair, it represents the `mystery` of women to them- they don`t tend to fuss over it and put so much time & effort into it like girls do. Its one of the things that separates us I guess. There are a lot of things that even the most understanding guys don`t get about women, and maybe our extra attention we put into our hair is a visual and physical symbol of that. Its the same way with girls sometimes- when I cut mine short about 2 weeks ago, the first thing I thought when I saw myself in the mirror was "I don`t look like a girl anymore!" which was silly cuz I still have a girl`s body and a girl`s face, and my hair isn`t boyish or anything- its just that the long hair is such an obvious symbol.
I know that girls are very often jealous of each other`s hair, especially when its really long or unique (a lot of other girls have told me that they wish their hair was curly like mine...I reeassure them that they don`t!). This is probably part of why they always tell each other to cut it. There weren`t any girls that told me not to when I brought it up. Anway, i think it is a sexual trigger...my boyfriend always puts his hands in my hair when we`re kissing (which I like very much :) ), and plays with it sometimes when we`re cuddling or just hanging out. He was pretty upset when I cut it, even tho it was fried & nasty when it was longer (its Ok, tho, he seems to be coming around). For me I guess I could say its a sensual thing. I obsess about my hair a lot, but I like playing with it & trying new things with it, and I love it when he does. I like to play with his too, so I guess it can go both ways.
I don`t think that long hair on men affects other men in the same way (maybe if they`re gay, but that`s a whole other thing as well). Most of the guys I know have super-short hair and tend to get kinda threatened and disgusted by guys with long hair. There`s this hippie guy at my school, and one of my boyfriend`s buddies (not mine, mind you) yells at him to "Cut that S**t, you hippie!" and stuff like that :(. As for Frued and Jung, I don`t know what they think...I don`t take much stock if what they say (I think Freud needed more psychiatric help than most of his patients). He`s probably say something about long hair meaning that you want to have sex with your father or your uncle or something, and I`m pretty darn sure that that`s not true :) :) No offense to anyone out there who is into Freud or Jung! What`s a little competitive discussion between philosophers anyway?
Cool questions, Uzma. And no, they weren`t stupid at all :) :) :)
Love, Ingrid

Associating long hair with femininity is completely cultural. In Africa, in the majority of cultures there, women wear their hair very short or shave their heads bald. And at times in Europe and Asia women wore their hair very short. Even today in European and Asian countries when women become 25 years old or older the majority of them go to shorter hair styles, long hair is seen by many to be girly as opposed to shorter styled hair as more suitable for adult women.
In ancient Egypt for centuries, women had all of their hair removed by plucking out the hairs on their head and then they often wore elaborate wigs! And in Africa today women with no hair or very short hair wear headscarves in the same way Egyptian women wore wigs.
And of course the same is true for long or short hair on men.At many times in history men had short hair in different cultures, at many other times men had long hair in many cultures.
Long hair is no more feminine than short hair or no hair, likewise short hair is no more masculine than long hair, it is completely cultural.
Fortunately we live in the modern era where both men and women are free, in modern cultures, to wear either long hair or short hair, so the old myths, at least in regards to hair have been broken down.
This is not true with clothing however. It is acceptable for women to wear slacks or dresses, but how many men in modern society do you see wearing a dress, and what would happen to the poor guy! Pants only for men, that hasn`t changed!

>>>Hair on a woman is dangerous for society....

You might be onto something here. Personally, I think hair can be such a large part of our personalities. It can help define beauty, sexuality, sensuality, and even our personalities. Yes, I know this is extremely prejudiced, but I tend to think of long-haired women as more sensual. Healthy hair is incredibly tactile! And for those who think an exposed nape is sexy, it`s so easy to do.

There`s something behind the saying, "letting your hair down!" It`s like a raw, sensual side is exposed.

About a year ago, I read the book, "Hair" by Diane Simon (I think that was her name). Honestly, I was disappointed in the book. The author was really exploring how women felt about themselves personally and in society, and the hair was just a layer to cut through (no pun intended) to find out what makes women really tick. It really wasn`t much about hair at all. I`d like to read a book that really is concentrated on the social/aethestic/sensual aspects of hair.

Jennifer

Hi Jennifer

With regard to your last comment, I have recently read a book in that vein, entitled

Hi Jennifer

Hey Jennifer

I live in the UK, but thanks - and Happy Thanksgiving to you too.

Just wanted to pick up on your comment about older women wanting to cut off the hair of younger women.
I notice that there is a lot of jealously around.
One of my close friends with hip-length hair is constantly told to cut it off by her so-called friends. I have also seen people who have just met her respond negatively to her, both to her face and behind her back with irrational, snide comments.
Now she is the sweetest girl (aged 20) in the world in terms of personality and their judgement seems to come from eye-balling her - judging her on her looks - and the feelings it provokes in the viewer about their own looks.
All the women who have responded resentfully in my earshot have had short hair - a coincidence perhaps.........
When I have spoken to her about this she gets upset because even her own peergroup seem to treat her like competition rather than a friend.
Her sister (who is equally sweet-natured) has a pretty face and short hair. Totally different response from other women.
I have observed when the girls are introduced to new people and they way women look at each sister is significantly different.
Long-haired sister gets the "sizing-her-up" look (quite sneaky and envious) while any small smile on the viewers face fades away, with a fake put-on smile suddenly appearing.
Short-haired sister gets a "she`s-OK-no-threat" look and a smile appears.
The contrast is very unsettling and unfortunately predictable.

This probably comes down to the whole evolution thing again i.e. which woman in the tribe will get the fittest male to breed with her.
So much for "civilization".

Take care, Jennifer.

Hey! It`s true- when I decided to cut my hair short & told a few other people, the girls all said `Yeah, do it", "It`ll look really cute on you", blahblahblah, while the guys said "Don`t do it." Since I got it cut, I`ve noticed a more favorable reaction from most other females, especially older women. When my hair was longish and blond, I got some rather snide looks here and there, and even tho my hair was fried and looked terrible, I got quite a few more looks from guys than I do now that it`s short and dark. Guess I`m not prime breeding material :) :)
Uzma- that`s really sad about your two friends. Funny how, despite all of our boasts that we`re `civilized` & that humanity has come all this way blahblahblah, it often comes down to animal instinct. Its amazing how much sex has to do with everything- it dominates culture and media and advertising and music....the expectation to be sexually attractive is, while maybe unsaid, expected to be a foremost concern to all of us. Girls are supposed to be sexy & live up to the standards that society & culture have decided upon- we are expected (even required) to focus our efforts on attracting a mate. Guys are supposed to be conquerors, fearless and without emotion as they conquest to defeat each other and run off with the prize maidens. (I`m just waiting for some guy to clunk me on the head with a club and drag me back to his cave :) )
We as humans are born with minds & bodies capable of achieving amazing things- sad how theyre so often wasted on this. I know we all have the breeding instinct so that we can continue the species blahblahblah, but do we need an entire culture and commercial economy dedicated to this?
Grrrrrrrrrr.

Ingrid