Why Why Why?

I have always been puzzled why some ladies feel the need to cut their beautiful hair which in many cases, at least in my opinion, makes the lady look older and in my opinion, less attractive.One of my best female friends at work had beautiful below- waist length hair for over 10 years and then she just decided she wanted to get it all cut off.She told me that she wanted a change. That she had worn her hair the same way for 10 years.She got a short layered cut and in my opinion she does not look as good as she did with the longer hair.She is happy with her new cut. I did not tell her that I thought she looked less attractive. Why hurt her feelings?I have tried to be supportive even though I did not agree at all. I understand that reasons for having longhair cut varies for everyone.I just don't understand WHY?Just my ramblings on a Tuesday morning.

Why? Probably because she wanted a change, a fresh look. Changing one's looks can also change one's spirits. Not all women are so concerned about looking atractive and some women do look better with short hair. Also, while I agree that short hair looks older, most people think the opposite. There is this 'rule' that women over either 30 or 40 will look older or worse, stuck in the past. Other reasons:- long hair is harder to take caare of-long hair has less boddy-long hair is considered less proffesional-there is another 'rule' that short women should not have long hair-long hair has been around a long time and is usualy damaged, especialy if it has been chemically processed

I cut off my hair because it became extremely difficult to manage with my busy lifestyle (school, work, sports etc.)I loved my short cut and people actually said it made me look younger!I really don't think that in general short hair makes people look older. There are many short cuts that can only be worn by a young person.Right now I am trying to grow it out mainly to see if I can stick it out! I tried to grow it out before but I gave in to another short and cute haircut.I think that there are many women who look so much better with short hair, not only does it complement their features but it also suits their personalities better. Look at all the celebs who are chopping off their hair!Also if your friend loves her cut then just support her!Regina

Regina,I have heard this "mantra" so many times before that to my earsit sounds so tired (and yes, cliche), these ideas that short hair"complements one's features," and "suits one's personality."I apologize if my question seems a bit edgy, but these ideas areso often repeated they seem trite.Would you (or anybody else who wishes to do so) please explain tome how and why you feel that these descriptions apply to short hair?One more thing... you mention "all the celebs who *are* choppingoff their hair." (my emphasis on your choice of the word "are").I think the most appropriate description of this situation is thatmost celebrities *have already* chopped their hair over the pastseveral -- or more -- years. My point is that it's not news.It's not even yesterday's news. It's old.Dave

dave -i am currently growing my hair out, but i had a VERY short style for more than two years, which i loved. it was about 1 - 2 inches on top and clipped very close elsewhere, shaved at my nape. everyday care was simple, wash, comb, gel and go. my stylist spent an hour tapering, thinning and layering the cut and it looked terrific. in fact, everyone was against my decision to grow it out - especially my boyfriend who wanted me to go back to my old style (which he loved) until my hair reached my shoulders (he loves my hair now - its almost bra strap length). Note though, that he loved ME regardless of my hair from short to now.as for why a woman would want short hair - well, women have different face shapes, hair textures, lifestyles and careers. longer hair does take more care and more effort, and, quite frankly, can get in the way. since i have grown my hair out, my daily routine takes 3 times as long, and i am constantly fixing my hair and restyling it throughout the day. i choose to live with the inconvenience, i did not in the past, and other women don't either. women with active or highly physical jobs have a lot more trouble with long hair.now as to why some people think short hair looks nice.... again, every woman has a different genetic starting point and a different overall look. some women look better with long hair, some look better with short hair. just like some people look good in the color red, but others do not. every person is unique. i have seen many women with short hair who would look better with long hair, AND believe it or not, women with long hair who would look better with short hair. a lot also depends on the styles worn, there are many different long hair and short hair styles, and a particular style may be more or less suited to a woman.as for complementing one's features - i don't know why this would be a mystery to you.... the same is true when a woman with long hair wears an updo. when a woman has short hair or long hair in an updo, attention is immediately drawn to her face and the face becomes a focal point. on me, the feature that was "complemented" were my eyes, the cut really brought out and put the focus on my eyes - more so than when i put my hair up now. this attention-getting feature is why many stylists steer women with "imperfect" features (like a nose the woman believes is too big) away from the really short crop cuts.sorry to go on like this.... but i strongly feel that women should wear their hair as they wish, determined by whatever factor they choose - believe it or not, many women are not solely concerned with appearance and attracting men... and i also believe that no general rules apply - short hair does not necessarily make you look older, long hair does not always make one more attractive. (personally i believe i look best with really short hair or hair below my shoulders)now, as for your friend, if she likes her hair the way it is now, then its not really your place to say anything. As my mother always said, if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.regards,j

Absolutely beautifully put and thoroughly explained.You clearly and simply explored the issue; giving great examples (in general and from personal experience) and making your points simple to grasp.Given that, now prepare for the gross misinterpretations and flames. :)As usual,JerkyFlea

> Absolutely beautifully put and thoroughly explained.> You clearly and simply explored the issue; giving> great examples (in general and from personal> experience) and making your points simple to grasp.> Given that, now prepare for the gross> misinterpretations and flames. :)> As usual,> JerkyFlea

Pardon me Dave for my use of the word "are" instead of "have". Regardless of the word I chose that fact remains that many women have chosen to wear their hair short and all I was trying to do was to make a point to James that his friend may be trying to keep up with current styles. geezz!In regards to the phrases you cited as "cliche" and "so tired", they are used in conjunction with long hair styles as well. How else would you explain to someone that they have chosen the right cut besides saying that it compliments their features and suits thier personality? Maybe you would be satisfied to hear a stylist say "Hair look good" but others are not. The appropriate hair cut for an individual depends highly on the person's face shape (if not then no one would care what face shape they had) amoung other physical features, and yes personality does make a difference!!!!!The main deal here is that no one should put anyone else down for a haircut that a person is very happy with! Its thier chioce not anyone elses!!!!!I hope that I enlightened you and if you have any more questions just ask!Regina

Hi jj,In parts of your reply, I believe you have confused me with James.James is the one who mentioned his lady friend who cut her hair.Your points regarding (a) your boyfriend loving you regardless ofyour hair length, and (b) remaining silent in the absense of sayingsomething nice, seem to be given in response to James' initialposting -- not to my question.Please also note that I have not raised any issue related to self-determination of one's own hairstyle, or of factors related to thatchoice, such as styling time and effort. I will, however, respondto the latter issue in the following way:Hair care and styling effort can range from easy to difficult, forlong and short alike. It may be true that on average, long hairtakes somewhat more time to care for, but styling time (dependingon what one considers a "style," and nothing is excluded) can rangethe gamut for either short or long hair. Yes, I have known (andknown of) women with short hair who spent LOTS of time trying tostyle what little hair they did have. And short hair can requiremore time and money to maintain its shape than long.One could make an exhaustive list of the factors related to care andstyling and may conclude that the most important factor related tooverall "resource involvement" has more to do with one's attitude andapproach to their hair, than to the length of the hair. I know thisfrom many sources -- myself (having had short and long hair), and frommany women I have known (or known of) and talked with about the subject.Activity and physical effort required for one's job or "lifestyle"otherwise are not impeded by long hair. Look at Anna Kournikova.Proof that one can simultaneously have long hair and engage in aphysically demanding occupation.Now, on to the issues which I raised and to which you replied....You said that "when a woman has short hair or long hair in an updo,attention is immediately drawn to her face and the face becomes afocal point." Without discussing the merits of intent to drawattention to a specific feature (such as the face), my next questionis: "if either short hair, or long hair worn in an up-do, drawattention to a woman's face, then why is it that the option of wearinglong hair in an up-do isn't as strongly promoted (or promoted atall or even merely suggested) as having/getting short hair?"Personally, I feel that long hair can and does complement a woman'sfacial features, whereas short hair around the face is a sometimesimpolite distraction. Besides, I feel that the issue of whether ornot a particular hairstyle flatters one's facial features is over-emphasized. What about a person's overall appearance?I agree with you that no general rules apply! This is why I ampuzzled by the mantra given all the time about hair "rules."Rules for this, rules for that. Let's face it, the subject in itsentirety is subjective! And I agree with you that everybody isunique. If somebody wants to wear a hairstyle that flatters theirelbows or their knees or their patoot, then who is anybody tosuggest to them that they abandon their principles behind theirhairstyle choice in favor of something which flatters their face?Dave

Hi Regina,>In regards to the phrases you cited as "cliche" and "so tired",>they are used in conjunction with long hair styles as well.I know this all too well. This is one of the reasons who long hairis not very popular. Because some of those who appreciate it aremade to feel badly for their choice for long hair -- and end upcutting it to avoid (unjustly) hearing those unkind descriptions.>How else would you explain to someone that they have chosen the>right cut besides saying that it compliments their features and>suits thier personality?Bingo! You have just uncovered the words for what they are -- asales pitch. Usually administered by the stylist trying to persuadebeforehand and/or comfort afterwards.>Maybe you would be satisfied to hear a stylist say "Hair look>good" but others are not.A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.>The appropriate hair cut for an individual depends highly on the>person's face shape (if not then no one would care what face shape>they had) amoung other physical featuresAs I said to jj, it's not a rule that the most appropriate hairstyle for an individual depends on the person's face shape.Why not consider the person's overall appearance? Besides, why*should* "care" about their face shape? Barring extremely radicalplastic surgery, it can't be changed. Unless one has the desireand the means to take such a step, one might be best off accepting(and being proud of) your face as it is.>and yes personality does make a difference!!!!!But where is it defined what personality goes with what hair lengthor style? I have met and known thousands of people in my life, andI can make absolutely no statistically significant correlationbetween hair style/length and personality. When you come right downto it, each person is responsible for their own attitude -- andpersonality.>The main deal here is that no one should put anyone else down for>a haircut that a person is very happy with! Its thier chioce not>anyone elses!!!!!As with jj, I believe you are confusing my question with James'posting. I agree with you on this issue, and along the same lines,I believe that no one should put anyone else down for NOT wearinga short haircut!Dave

I feel as though my original question has been lost in thediscussion about somewhat different issues, and perhaps hasbeen misinterpreted.Yes, I love long hair. Yet, I am not questioning whyanybody would like or want short hair.To clarify my question, I am wondering why specificallyit is that short hairstyles are frequently described as"complementing one's features" and "suiting one's personality."I don't understand (1) why these characteristics seem neverto be ascribed to long hairstyles, and (2) what specificallyit is about short hair that they satisfy these descriptionsbetter than long hair?It seems I frequently hear these, or similarly "kind,"descriptions used when describing short hair, yet Idon't hear these same, or similarly kind, descriptionsapplied to long hair.Is it because long hair is somehow deficient to short hair?Or is it just that we are led to believe that that is thecase, by those who are generally most outspoken on thematter of length and style?Dave

david -i apologize for confusing you with james, i realized that after i had alredy posted :).you are right, short hair can be very expensive (salon visits every 1-2 months) and some short styles time intensive. and it is indeed possible to have an active/demanding lifestyle/career and have long hair. i was just pointing out possible reasons a woman would opt for a short style."why is it that the option of wearing long hair in an up-do isn't as strongly promoted (or promoted at all or even merely suggested) as having/getting short hair?" - i honestly don't know - maybe because 1) many women do not know how to create updos (at 27, i have just learned how to put my hair up and braid it and i am still incompetent with rollers, curling irons and blow driers :) ); 2) some effects are more readily achieved with a short cut and 3) stylists make more money when a woman goes in for a cut every 4-6 weeks."Personally, I feel that long hair can and does complement a woman's facial features" That is true but necessarily for every woman. it can take years of perming, straightening, coloring, cutting and styling for a woman to finally find a style that she is happy with. but what sticks with some women and some men is the idea that only one style is suitable, i think that for most women, there are a number of styles ranging in length that can satisfy what she is looking for, be it an overall look, convenience, or whatever.it seems we are in agreement over the idea of hair "rules" and on that note of accord i sign off,regardsjj

> Hi Regina,> I know this all too well. This is one of the reasons> who long hair> is not very popular. Because some of those who> appreciate it are> made to feel badly for their choice for long hair --> and end up> cutting it to avoid (unjustly) hearing those unkind> descriptions.> Bingo! You have just uncovered the words for what they> are -- a> sales pitch. Usually administered by the stylist> trying to persuade> beforehand and/or comfort afterwards.> A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.> As I said to jj, it's not a rule that the most> appropriate hair> style for an individual depends on the person's face> shape.> Why not consider the person's overall appearance?> Besides, why> *should* "care" about their face shape?> Barring extremely radical> plastic surgery, it can't be changed. Unless one has> the desire> and the means to take such a step, one might be best> off accepting> (and being proud of) your face as it is.> But where is it defined what personality goes with> what hair length> or style? I have met and known thousands of people in> my life, and> I can make absolutely no statistically significant> correlation> between hair style/length and personality. When you> come right down> to it, each person is responsible for their own> attitude -- and> personality.> As with jj, I believe you are confusing my question> with James'> posting. I agree with you on this issue, and along the> same lines,> I believe that no one should put anyone else down for> NOT wearing> a short haircut!> Dave

Here it goes,Originally I'm sure the phrase "fits her personality" came about in oreder to coax people in to giving into shorter haircuts, thus the association to shorter haircuts. Perhaps it came about to make someone feel better if their stylist butchered their hair! I don't know! All I can say for sure that there are many current hair cuts out there that are made for specific personalities ie. Pixie, dreadlocks, crazy curly hair, "bedhead", spikey (pardon me for the lack of a better word), even afros. I don't know who made it so but the majority of these cuts are short styles. Truth be told there aren't any truly shocking things you can do with long hair (excluding dreads of course and I guess color). I see it the sane way as how different people choose to dye their hair different colers. Some opt for blond other go red and then there are the few who choose purple or blue! These colors "suit their personalities".The phrase "compliment his/her features" can go with either long or short hair in my opinion. There are some people who look dumpy with super long hair and there are those that look hideous with short hair. Everyone has an opinion regarding how a person should wear his/her hair. Some people go by face shape, some go by height, some go by the characteristics of their hair and even some just choose what they like better! Why the term is heard in regards to short hair more often is beyond me, I don't know who started the trend.I cannot tell you why the world associates these two phrases with short hair, but I can explain why I used them. I used them because they fit the point I was trying to make and universal sayings often do make a point easier than obscure references. On that note I am done~Regina

> I have always been puzzled why some ladies feel the> need to cut their beautiful hair which in many cases,> at least in my opinion, makes the lady look older and> in my opinion, less attractive.> One of my best female friends at work had beautiful> below- waist length hair for over 10 years and then> she just decided she wanted to get it all cut off.> She told me that she wanted a change. That she had> worn her hair the same way for 10 years.> She got a short layered cut and in my opinion she does> not look as good as she did with the longer hair.> She is happy with her new cut. I did not tell her that> I thought she looked less attractive. Why hurt her> feelings?> I have tried to be supportive even though I did not> agree at all. I understand that reasons for having> long> hair cut varies for everyone.> I just don't understand WHY?> Just my ramblings on a Tuesday morning.To all ;Concerning the cutting of long hair to short; during the transformation of some of my long haired clients to short, I have noticed several things;1) some clients whom have always had very long hair, 'love' their freedom from the routine of taking care of their long tresses, so much that they say they will never go back to long hair.2) Some clients are absolutely aghast at the thought of cutting their hair short.3) Some clients decide to try shorter styles for a while and then return to their longer looks after a while. As an interesting observation, I have noticed that a person who is meek, mild mannered, and shy, will do one of two things, if she cuts her hair short, she will either absolutely love the look and her personality will become much more aggressive, and self confident or she will be in tears until it grows back, her long hair was her 'security blanket' that she hid behind. Other clients that are more confident and that cut their hair are in the 'oh well it will grow back' I like it but I liked my hair longer better' group. I have found as a stylist the reason for my success is that I take a personal interest in my clients wishes and try to be completely honest in my evaluations of their needs and wants, and try to be the best that I can be in my technical skills. Sometimes, being 'honest' with my opinion can cause a client to move on to another salon, but what is surprising is percentage of them that return and apologize after they have been 'butchered' by a 'less caring' stylist, and swear they will never go anywhere else again! The moral of the story? Be very careful when trying to persuade someone to cut their hair short, or you may wind up with months/years of agony while it grows back, or you may unleash a tiger that has been hiding behind their hair. I have some clients that I 'know' would look much better (read more in proportion to their overall image)or because of certain features, in shorter hairstyles, but the most important thing is ITS THEIR HAIR AND THEY CAN DO WHATEVER MAKES THEM HAPPY! william

First things first-- no one is here to please you or anyone else. What do you care how your friend wears her hair. Basically, you are hurting her feelings by not being honest with her. I am sure you wear clothes or shoes that other people do not like but hey, they eventually forget about it. This myth must stop and I hate when men can not accept a woman for something that she wants . Her hair is not paying your bills and I do not see why her hair should be any of your concern. What you need to do is worry about yourself because I am sure the attitude you have towards her, someone has that same attitude towards you. Not everyone on this earth was born to have long hair down to their waist. God made all of us in his own image. If you think a person's hair determines their personality, then you must be crazy. You are a disappointment to women and I thank God that I do not know you personally.