Help wanted for Natural dirty blonde hair makeover

I want a natural makeover.  I have a professional job, and I dress nice, but my hair is a disaster.

I have long, dirty blonde hair past my waist.   It is slightly wavy and frizzy... no shine.  It has a straight cut too.

I was thinking of using some slight lightening.. I kind of like dirty blonde on me.  It brings out my facial tone and blue eyes, I think.  But my hair just looks awful. 

Has anyone tried semi permanent glosses or clear ones?  Would a gloss slightly lighten my hair or turn it more golden from the dull dirty blonde it is?  I don't want my hair much darker.  Is there anything that would just enhance it a bit?

I was thinking of bayalage highlights but I have slight damage (I used to blow dry straight everyday...).  Maybe use a bit of peroxide?

I also am considering a brazilian blowout or a keratin treatment if the gloss doesn't work.  It would be pricey on me.

I have considered layers on my hair too.  I personally think a short cut would look sooo cute on me and would solve my frizz problem.  BUT, my family loves long hair... and they would be HORRIFIED if I chopped it off.  ...what a pity.

What are my options?  What do you guys think would look best on me?

If necessary I can provide photographs of myself.. just send me a message.

I really would appreciate any advice.  Everyone I know has beautiful, healthy, straight hair....   how do they do it?  straightening.. no.. I would notice the damage.  My slight wave is easier to make straighter than curl, I think.  I just don't know what to do.

so far, I have been hiding it in low buns...

I have some pics here....  http://picasaweb.google.com/couronne.de.roses/91810?authkey=Gv1sRgCMGxy4--x-HVlQE#

let me know if the link doesn't work.

i took this on dirty hair with a bunch of product.  my natural hair texture is softer, frizzier and straighter.

http://picasaweb.google.com/couronne.de.roses/91810?authkey=Gv1sRgCMGxy4--x-HVlQE&feat=directlink

ah, here's a better link!

These photos are restricted for privacy reasons. Please post them to a photo sharing site (such as imgur, www.imgur.com), so that I can see them.