negative vibes

It really amazes me that there are so many negative reactions to women who choose to wear their hair very short. Natalie Maines of The Dixie Chicks recently cut her hair into a super short crop, which I think looks terrific on her, but most of the posts on web sites featuring her new cut were very negative. There were lots of lesbian and butch comments, as well as sheer disgust, like now she looks like a boy/man. My wife has worn her hair very short for about three years now, quite a bit shorter than Natalie's current crop, and every time she gets a haircut there are certain people she works with who feel obligated to say that she looks butch. What is wrong with people? Usually when a woman sports a very short style I think it looks great, it really shows off a beautiful face, and a woman's neck that is shaved close is about as erotic as it gets. Am I missing something, or am I wrong?

What makes us all human, is that we can take in our surroundings and our environment, and while we may see the same things, we draw different conclusions. Unfortunately you are being subjected to the stereotypes that have been seared into our culture - men have short hair and women have long hair, and if a woman has very short hair, she is immediately branded butch or a lesbian. Labeling based on appearances is wrong on every level. It is always up to the individual to be able to look at themselves in the mirror and be satisfied with what they see - that is really all they need to be concerned about. No matter what, you will never please everyone all of the time. And until we make fundamental changes to the very fabric of our society, these judgements (as narrowminded as they will be) will remain.

The way we see ourselves in the mirror is also, at least in part, conditioned by society. Therefore, if our society tells us that super short hair is masculine and butch on a woman, then maybe some ladies will tend to follow this kind of style when they feel like looking "masculine" and "butch" (and of course, that's their choice, but they've acquired what the categories of looking "masculine" and "butch" are from the very same place--society). Similarly, our society promotes the view that very long hair is soft and feminine on a woman--and some ladies will go for that when they feel they want to look "soft" and "feminine" (again following the opinion of the society to which they belong about what is "soft" and what is "feminine").

In other words, it's a chicken and egg situation. Where does a person get most of their abstract, aesthetic values from? The society to which they belong is the answer. Go to a certain part of northern Thailand and you will find the so-called "giraffe" women who put rings around their necks from the earliest of ages to conform to their society's idea that very long necks are beautiful in women. Another example would be the bandaged feet of Chinese women (at least in the past) who were taught to believe that real ladies had small and beautiful feet. My point is that usually only small deviations from the norm are wanted or even thought desirable in the cases of 99% of the people--and that includes the people who believe they are going against the grain. Although they may believe that they are flouting the norm, they are usually actually confirming it--albeit it in an inverted kind of way (i.e. "society says very short hair is masculine and butch and I want to show that I don't care about the opinion of society, so I'll cut off my hair and show I don't care what society thinks by.....looking masculine and butch!")

In the end, none of us can afford to totally ignore the views of the society to which we belong. Perhaps more importantly, it is also more or less impossible to do this.fatmoogas2009-05-08 16:53:53

     XXX, if you and your wife like super short hair on her, what else matters. My wife has had waist or longer hair for almost half a decade now, and she receives barbs occasionally, esp. from family. I'm certain if it wasn't for my encouragement, she's have caved long ago. 

Bob S2010-02-12 12:45:32

I think that some people look better with certain lenghts. I didn't always think that way.  I thought that every woman could wear whatever but I have seem that it is not always the way.  One of my co-workers when she cuts her hair very short she looks great.  I on the other hand actually looked great bald, spike, short and even long because I have a round head.  It is funny thought how one can influence others.  My employer tends to wear her hair above shoulder with straight hair and yet when I was seem wearing my hair with a bit of curls she appear the next day doing the same.  She used to have very long hair but I never seem it on her when she did.  She will never go back but I probably will.  I think that some people are tired and others always want what they have already.

     When this thread appeared in my e-mail, I had no recollection of it. I was glad I looked, b/c the new response was from YOU, Diane! I've been wondering about your situation. So happy you seem to be doing very well.

I have had my hair all different lengths,long and very short,and even buzzed.
I felt more confident with long hair,but I got the most compliments when it was about chin length.Everywhere I went people were commenting they loved my haircut.
I say do whatever makes you happy.You just can't please everyone all the time.
There will always be critics no matter what you choose.Even with hair color...
If you're brunette,well, then your boring.If you are a blond, then you are dumb...
People always have something to say.