what do i do?

i always get blowouts and whenever i don't use gel to spike it up my hair is always poofy and it always stays up. idk how to get my hair to stay down. it would be great if anybody told me how to get this kind of hair, what shampoo or products i should use, what i should personally do. things like that in order to achieve the hair i desire. thanks guys!

P.S. I'm the one with black hair and I'm trying to get my hair to stay down like the dirty blonde hair.


me:






how i want my hair to be: