Help, i can never get the curl i want

It's quite frustrating everyday thinking about my hair. I feel like I have no control over it sometimes.
Normal hair care is: shower, shampoo every other time, condition every time. Lately, i've been using this milk creme after the shower then i put mousse in. and flip hair and crunch. I don't like Gel as it results in hard crunches, and i dont like it at all. The only way my hair will turn out somewhat decent is if i clip it back for half the day then when i put it down it looks good. But to go half the day with it clipped it looks bad.
I sometimes get two perfect ringlets in the on the hair that comes in front of my shoulders when its down. Dont know how it happens. Last year my hair was PERFECT for awhile. Then i cut it down to my ears and it's growing again. it's to my middle back now if i straighten it, which takes to long to do so bah.
I am assuming i have 3A hair. No clue really. It's wavy and curly. My crown though refuses to curl correctly. I have baby hairs from hell and arrrgh, im'a see if i have any pictures i can upload to give you an idea.
Help please.

The hair products i use are all the Tresemme brand. shampoo, conditioner, mousse and milk creme.

I remember once all i used was the creme from sunsilk. I just dislike my hair.and using curling iron isn't an option. I am always on the go...no time...i already spend 15ish minutes on my hair.

here is my hair now... itdries up after awhile and looks like poo.
this is what it looks like after i take clip off 1/2 way into the day:


it varies by day...really upsetting. right now i took a shower this morning..but it dried incorrectly and it's frizzy and stupid. i need to upload a picture of it RIGHT NOW. but no camera.

the longer it gets the more unruly it is. help ..por fa!
evangelina2008-12-21 10:25:00

Do you use anti-frizz products? There are some gels that don't make your hair hard or crunchy, the gel I use is Alcohol Free..helps define my curls but keeps my hair soft.
Ever try using a leave-in conditioner to see how that would work?

you are shampooing your hair to much- for curly hair all you need is once  a week or so.  Curly hair is more easily dried out then straight hair there fore it needs constant moisture to it. With you shamppoing all the time you are actually making the frizz and what not worse. The natural oils are the best thing i found to keep my hair in check an dbring out my spirals( i am a type 3 as well).

Also any products containing sillicon  aren't good for hair.

I don't know if you ever heard of the curly girl book but it has helped alot of ppl. i thought it was gross at first to got w/o washing my hair but soon found my hair was in better shape.I got it al documented in my journal.crazy but it works.

Curly girl methodhttp://www.wikihow.com/Follow-the-Curly-Girl-Method-for-Curly-Hair

favorite site http://www.naturallycurly.com/

So, shampoo once a week and condition every day?? is that how it works? or should i only condition 3 days a week? I have read that shampooing was damagning which is why i did it 3 or 2 times a week. but i can narrow that to one.

It's the after part that is frustrating. i dont like the feel of gel, it's stick and gross. any suggestions on a mousse type. i always use tresseme, apprently that has sillicon though. help

yes, i eleimated shampooing except for once in a while. I also  co-wash (using conditioner as a shampoo and scrubbing scalp) about every 2 days.I stick with a moisture based conditioner like Nexxus Humcantress (humcant draws in moisture )  or a honey mixture (search the web about honey and home made condtioners) About 3times a month i will use a protien based condtioner like Main and tail. to much protien will break your hair off so don't use it every day but trying to find the healthy blance is the key.

 I use an aloe vera gel just a dime sized amount, it keeps the fly awys down and isn't crusty.  I don't really use mousse. I'm more a natural kinda curl girl.

So, after the shower, should i run a comb through my hair to get tangles out and put leave in conditioner/moisturizer. Then, should i put either mousse or this aloe vera gel in it. to scrunch or not to scrunch. should i flip my hair over and scrunch like that? the crown of my head rarely curls. only the bottom.

i put this moisturizer milk in it. comb it through then i put mousse and scrunch with hands. then i try to leave it to air dry but i see frizzes which is when i clip my hair up.

what i am getting is , less WAY less shampoo. but after the shower???  what?

well in the shower why not condition and then run a wide tooth comb through to remove tangles, went you out of the shower blot hair with towel then  use your choice of gel or mousse and put product in hair like regular focusing on  where you see frizz the most. try not to touch hair until it's dry. the frizzes are caused by the hair being really dry.

as for styling afterwards, what is the name of the gel you use?? do i just scrunch it. flip hair over? the crown of my head just flattens... 

i use a regular aloe gel nothing fancy  just $2 stuff from walmart. you want alcohol free gel