Arrgh.
Ok. Ladies.
I know that many of you use products to keep your nails from splitting? Right.
Do you mean you ladies have nothing? Nothing to help your nails?
I know you have thin nails. Everytime you grow them, something happens...and, don't tell me that you just say...fine... let's cut them all off to the cuticle. So there goes your nails.
You go around town. Are your nails are gone? You try to make them look nice.
OK. I am a guy. You have dark shoes, dark hair, and a dark hand bag. Right?
Oh, come on.
This is hair site. You are on the prowl. I want to be noticed. I want to know if you look good. So, it's evening. Time to hunt. What are you looking for? A glance? Just a glance? From who?
EVERYONE!!
You have dark hair... and the most appropriate top to have your nice styled hair that falls beyond your shoulders?
Very light. Because it's a nice contrast. The area below your waste. Taste and classic beauty. It's dark. Shoes? Probably dark. Not one pair, but two. High heels for the hunt. Low and comfortable... for just getting around. If you don't have a car to do this with... something in between. A heel, but not unforgiving.
So, your hair is inviting. So, feminine and mysterious to the guys who say... look at you!
What color are your nails? Conservative? Just a polish. A bad darkness... like killer black? Inviting? Red? No beating around the bush. And how long is your nails?
Now, we are back to square one. Some of you ladies want nice long nails and make them so. Nice girly well formed nails.
Yeh... I know. I am patronizing you. But, what is a guy to do?
You ladies know the right products to make sure your nails grow long and strong. You have time honored remedies. These remedies create nice strong nails... right?
So, why can't you tell me what it is? What you use? I don't think you don't use just anything.
OK... I am a guy... right? Us guys are programed to seek you out about nails.
Here is a typical guy... wondering about girls...
(Goes back to when he was 7 years old.) So much bravery for such a time...
"Can I play with you?"
Girl looks up. "I am playing house."
A sparkle in my eye. "Hold on." Goes inside his house.
GI joe. The most fantastic man ever! GI joe comes inside barbie house. Sits behind table. "What's for dinner?"
"Corned beef and cabbage," she says.
GI joe tries not to throw up. "I think I will patrol the grounds."
"Why?"
"Because there is bad guys out there?"
"OK."
I patrol the outside of the house. I killed 300 people!
"Did you find any bad guys?"
"Yeah. 300 bad guys!"
"That's good." She says. "I have beautiful hair. And, beautiful nails."
"Yes you do." I say, automatically
"I want to do your GI joe nails."
AWKWARD. "Never."
"I won't play with you, anymore. I will never play with you ever, again! And, If you don't marry me, I will never play with you! We must play together and be married, and you must tell me my hair is beautiful, and my nails are beautiful. And, I want to..."
GI joe is scared. If he doesn't do this she goes home. GI JOe is alone, and that will never never do. GI joe will be bored. AND, that's not acceptable. Is it?
"OK."
See ladies? Guys are programmed for this. Once guys play with girls, all types of questions come up. Just one of many. "So, what is the secret to long strong nails for guitar playing."
See? Guys know you know. Once they start down the path of having "Girl" friends, naything goes...
So what is the secret?