dark brown to blonde... how far to go?

Hi, all! I've been a member here for a while, but I don't post much.

My husband wants me to go blonde. I only have bad experiences with coloring, so I want to do plenty of research before attempting this!  I read the coloring sticky, but I didn't understand enough to be confident in myself, so I'm asking you guys for help.  I have dark brown hair with red tones, but it's not this long anymore:



Hubby wants me to go all the way to platinum, but I want to do this nice and slow so that I can correct anything that goes wrong. I'm at a total loss... tell me where to start, please!

If I were you,  I wouldn't even attempt it myself. I would find a reputable stylist who is willing to work gradually. Brunette to blonde isn't THAT big a deal, but with red undertones, it will be a bit tougher. More steps=more complicated=don't try this yourself! ;)

Yeah I don't want to do platinum. I want a darker blonde that looks natural.  Unfortunately, I can't afford to see a stylist right now. :(

your hair is soooo nice and shiny....do you have color on it now?  if you do, you could try a color remover like color zap to help get the red out.....boy, i don't know...there is a woman named rebekah that posts, you might try to private msg her, i am telling you she knows what she is talking about...it is doable but you are being smart in getting all the info you can get..

Thanks. :) Nope, no color at all on it. No chemicals at all. The only thing I do is that I straighten it with a CHI iron.    

your hair is beautiful....i mean outstandingly so....it is so pretty that i cannot begin to tell you how to go about your quest....believe me, you will get lots of help that will be good.....i don't mean to sound motherish, but your hair is just lovely.  you will have to bleach....you do it in small increments.....you can use a blue based bleach that will help cancel out the reds....but just know in the process your hair will be red (that is part of the process, dark hair goes from dark to red to orange to yellow)  when i have used bleach, and i know that it cuts the strength and all but i do add conditioner to my mixture.....if you go in slow and i do mean slow increments you won't burn your hair off....i said i wasn't going to tell you things and i cannot seem to stop myself.....i have read cosmotology books and all that....i just don't want to tell anyone to do the wrong thing, especially when it comes to hair like yours....have you ever noticed like, take jessica simpson for instance....she went dark and it was over like a 2-3 month process for her to get her hair light again....ok, i wrote a saga...get lots of info and you'll be ok.

Can you bleach in steps? I thought bleach was an all-or-nothing type thing. So I should start with a blue based bleach and add conditioner? Any particular type of either?    

yes, bleach in steps...you can burn your hair off....i don't know that you should start w/a blue based bleaqch....i am out of my depth on this one erin....don't feel like i know enough to advise you....but you will get some real good ideas from your post....there are women on here with alot of experience going blonde.....those are who i would listen to....i'll keep up on your experience....i am facinated by the process just not experienced enough to tell you what to do....others will....

Yes, you can bleach in steps, but why bother...unless you want to adjust to the shock of being plat from black...lol. 

I want to go in steps because I'm afraid to commit to all-out blonde without knowing what I'll look like and without knowing if the color is going to turn out how I expect it to. I know I am going to need some time to get used to it, and I think I can do that better if it gradually lightens over time instead of just being a blonde one day. You guys really think I should do it all in one step?

Now my husband is saying that he's not paying for ANYTHING unless I go platinum. :( What an ass. So how much time do I need between bleachings?  I'm I going to be able to maintain this?

Here's what I would do if I were you...seriously.  Go buy a wig and wear it for awhile to see if you like being blonde first.  Yes, you can go blonde and maintain it, but it's expensive and a lot of work to keep pretty.  You have to tone a lot and bleach every 4 to six weeks, only the roots though.  Then there is the struggle to keep your hair a pretty blonde and not a brassy color.  If you don't want to try a blonde wig then try some on to decide what color you like best. 

I'd love to end up with hair like yours!  What color are are you naturally? How did you get it so natural-looking with so much depth without frying it?  THAT's what I want!

good idea about the wigs....i thought i would look good w/golden blonde hair---i am a natural redhead with blonde in it....well, i WAS WRONG....it washed my complexion out....when i added copper i looked sooo much better....there are so many shades of blonde that the wig idea is good....is ass hubby prepared to pay for you to go to a salon to maintain this look?  is the ass ready to pay for the toning and such if you run into problems?  did you tell him he is an ass?

oh ya, rebekah, i too like your hair....it is really pretty.  i also like your ideas and such.

LOL. Yes, I told him. He wants to maintain it ourselves. He is willing to pay someone to do the color the first time, but he thinks we can do the touchups and roots ourselves. That's why I'm here -- to learn how to do this.

My hair...hmmm--the first time I ever colored it, it was RED, not a bad color really but not what I wanted.  Rebekah2007-09-06 15:08:38

Thanks, Rebekah! I'm beginning to understand this a little better. I'm going to have to bleach to yellow or lighter and then tone to get believable color. Do I do both steps on the same night? erinspice2007-09-06 20:11:37

Yes, you can and it may take three bleachings to get the hair that light. 

So test all three bleachings worth PLUS toner on a strand and then do the rest?        

That's what I would do and write down the times.  It "may" take three bleachings, but you never know. 

So I showed my husband this thread, to show him how hard it would be and what we'd have to do, and I warned him ahead of time that I called him an ass in the thread for only wanting platinum blonde.  He got really mad and we fought and he said "What the hell is my favorite hair?!" And of course, I knew what to say. Mine is his favorite. He hates it when I straighten it because he likes it messy and curly. It didn't really hit me until after it came out of my mouth how sweet he is. I don't really think he's an ass. He's such a sweet guy, and I hurt his feelings. :(

Yes, I think your hair is beautiful too.  Personally wouldn't change a thing.  A blonde wig would be fun for you though.  The only reason I change my hair is because I used to be a yellow-golden blonde as a child and I really wanted my color back.  I'm glad you will be keeping your color , do what makes YOU most happy.

[QUOTE=Rebekah]I'm glad you will be keeping your color , do what makes YOU most happy.[/QUOTE]

Haha, I never said THAT, now! I might still do it for a while!