worst hair ever (help!)

This is my very first post here, and I need major advice:

My hair fits into NO category: It's not curly, not straight, but extremely thick and coarse, frizzy (lots of strays and breakage), all one length, past the shoulders with a bit of wave. I dread going to a salon- Stylists never know what to do with me- at the end of one visit, I actually had a stylist say, "well, I'm at a loss."

I've tried everywhere from supercuts to high end salons. I've tried almost every product out there (masks, conditioners, glosses, shine serums, etc). I've been advised razor cuts to thin it out, and then told thats the worst thing I can do. Layering seems to make it too puffy, but not layering give my head a traingle shape (too much bulk at the bottom). I rarely blow dry (to avoid further breakage), but when I do, it's far too thick and coarse to get the silky straight look. For now I use curling gels and sprays that keep it semi curly and crispy, which isn't a great look either, but at least it's not all puffy.

What on earth can I do with this hair??? (Avoiding short hair, which is terrible on me). Is there a particular cut or style that works well with coarse, thick, wavey hair? I'm 31 and I still don't know what to ask for when I go for a cut.

Any thoughts are muchly appreciated!

It sounds like since you prefer length and you don't like layers or the triangle blunt look, you may want to grow it longer so you can then get layers on the last few inches (6 inches or so) of hair so that its thick nearly to the bottom, but weighed down enough with length to lay flatter, then tapers to the ends.  I don't think layering just the last couple of inches would help much with hair around shoulder length, (because you don't have enough length to really weigh it down once its layered) but it should work fine with hair that is longer. Then the layers at the very ends should cause it to taper enough that you should have thinner hair at the end that hangs in waves (I've seen it before on wavy hair and it looks quite nice).  For long hair though I wouldn't suggest you get it done with a razor either, it will make it split faster.  They can do it with scissors by holding the hair straight out and cutting upwards (just into the last few inches). 

THANK you!  That sounds like a great idea!

I think I'll print your reply and take it w/ me next time I go to the salon.