Totally divided on short and long hair

Hi everyone. I'm new here and am very glad to have found this site! I searched for a long time trying to find a discussion board for short hair, but found that most of them were kind of....umm.....strange.

Anyway, I have been thinking of cutting my hair in a short style for quite some time now.  That is, one day I really want to do it.and the next day I really DON'T want to.  I am completely 50/50 on the idea.  I've tried to convince myself to stay long and then I've tried to convince myself to go short. Neither works

My hair is red /strawberry blonde and quite curly. When it grows longer it forms nice ringlets / spiral curls.  When it is shorter, it is more wavy.  My reasons for cutting it short are: I am a Mum of two who also works and I feel it would save me some time, I feel that I am of an age now (32) where long hair is not really suitable, short hair would update my look and be better suited to my professional career path, and finally...I really want a "hair style" instead of just hair!  My reasons for not cutting it are: I sometimes really enjoy my curls when they are long and better formed, I don't use hair products (like styling products), I can wear my  hair up easily, I get compliments on my hair as it is, I feel secure behind my hair and think that my face / bone structure is not good enough to be shown off with short hair!   These are just a few reasons....

OK, so I'm going to attach pics of me now and I'm hoping that someone could just say "hey...yes...you NEED short hair" or "no way, you couldn't carry it off...better keep it long".  Or something to that effect   My face is sort of small and I'm a small boned person, but I hate my chin (I have a crooked jaw and a yucky little pouch of fat underneath my chin).  What styles would suit?  I really like the short messy/bedhead look aka Meg Ryan.

The last pic is what it looks like medium length (I really don't like this in between look though.....I like long or short)

So what should I do?

Thanks for reading

I think you're hair looks fine the way it is.

I know everyone on here will probably disagree with me, but this is the "short hair" thread. If you asked the same question on the "long hair" thread ie: "should I keep my hair long or cut it short?" all the replies will say keep it long. It all depends who you ask. Speaking as someone who went from longer than you to very short earlier this year and then hated it (and now has extensions), maybe I'm biased though.

Your long hair looks fantastic and your age and career (other than careers such as actress etc) are certainly not valid reasons for changing it and I can not see the alleged problems with your jawline.

I can understand the concept of "I want a hairstyle not just hair" but to me you have a perfectly good style at present.

I've never understood why some women spend 99% of the time with their long hair in an updo rather than succumbing to the scissors.

You sound more comfortable with the thought of longer hair and I'd say keep it long for now.  There is no harm in delaying your decision and accept that you will know when and if the time is right to cut it short in the future.

missrini

I can do a photography makeover for you if you want to see what you would look like with short. Just post a picture of yourself with your hair pulled back off your face and ears. Or you can just e-mail it to me and I send back the photo's of you with short hair. My e-mail is dm_61@yahoo.com. Good luck.

David

OK...most people here know that i'm a big fan of short hair. However, I will give you an honest opinion instead of my standard reply(pixie cut of course)

My honest reply is this: if you are wanting to go short, I think the Elizabeth Shue look from the "Palmetto" or "Hollow Man" movies would look pretty good with your curls.  That's a pretty good shorter look with curly hair, IMO. 

Again, just my two cents. Follow the link below for a good pic of her.

http://us.ent4.yimg.com/et.tv.yahoo.com/lib/images/celebs/bi rthdays/10/133_elisabethshue.jpg

A good pic of the back:

http://us.movies1.yimg.com/movies.yahoo.com/images/hv/photo/ movie_pix/columbia_pictures/hollow_man/hollowman.jpg

Wow...thanks everyone for the replies! I think I may need to clarify something though....cutting my hair because I am getting older is just ONE of my reasons.  I do realise that it might sound like I am reacting to other ppl's opinions of my long hair and how appropriate it is.  I also think that it would be quite liberating to cut it off, sort of leave behind the old me whose self image was attached to her long hair!  Having said all of this, I am still undecided

I guess it might be more relevant for me to ask if any other ppl out there have had this same dilemma...ie had long hair and then went short.  What did you think about the short hair cut? Was it what you expected? Better? Did it make you feel any different?

Arch..thanks for those links to E Shue. I had not considered wearing it curly if it was short, so that was very interesting!

Incidentally, my husband (God bless him) says that it'd look great either way. He's really very sweet, but rather unhelpful

Hi Missrini,

Seeing as you asked so nicely , I'll share my experiences of going from long to short. Oh, and I wasn't trying to put you off going short, I totally understand why you would want to, I did it to try and get taken more seriously.

As I mentioned I had longer hair than you and went very short back in January. I hated it straight away. I felt plain and unsexy. On the plus side it's much easier to take care of and getting ready in the mornings was much quicker. I guess short hair just wasn't me, that's why I had extensions. I reckon the idea of a wig is cool, if I'd tried that I could have saved a lot of tears.

Hope this helps....

And I thought of something else! I went short in January when it was winter here in England and my head was freezing, I was worried about getting frostbite in my ears

Wow...thanks everyone for the replies! I think I may need to clarify something though....cutting my hair because I am getting older is just ONE of my reasons.  I do realise that it might sound like I am reacting to other ppl's opinions of my long hair and how appropriate it is.  I also think that it would be quite liberating to cut it off, sort of leave behind the old me whose self image was attached to her long hair!  Having said all of this, I am still undecided

I guess it might be more relevant for me to ask if any other ppl out there have had this same dilemma...ie had long hair and then went short.  What did you think about the short hair cut? Was it what you expected? Better? Did it make you feel any different?

Arch..thanks for those links to E Shue. I had not considered wearing it curly if it was short, so that was very interesting!

Incidentally, my husband (God bless him) says that it'd look great either way. He's really very sweet, but rather unhelpful

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Hi and welcome to the board! First off your hair is beautiful. The ringlet curls and waves in your hair are very nice and I love the color. You have a very strong jawline and chin and a shorter haircut will make that a more dominant feature on your face. So you might not want to go too short if you are still thinking short.

Also keep in mind that many women think..."Oh I'll cut my hair short it'll be easier to maintain!" This is not always the case. Shorter hair needs frequent trims to keep that salon fresh look....every 4-6 weeks and at times it can be just as frustrating as long hair to style or get it to do what you want it to.

But good luck to ya and let us know what ya decide to do.

You look great as you are, but if you wanted to try out short hair, I think you could pull it off well.  If you're still 50/50 on the idea, you should probably hold off until you're more sure, to make sure you don't regret it.  Maybe if you try on a short wig and like how it looks, you could buy it and wear it for a week or two as a test run before deciding.

I'm not sure if my personal experience is very helpful or not, since I never actually liked long hair, but I definitely look and feel better in short.  To me, there was more trauma in feeling forced to keep long hair all through childhood than there was in finally being rid of it.

My wife went from long to short just over a year ago after having worn her long hair for many years (and being mortified of having more than an inch trimmed off).  She loves it, wished she had done it years ago and has subsequently gone shorter still and has no desire whatsoever to grow it back again at present.  The reactions of other people to her style were all positive and the only questions she had was "what was wrong with my old style and why did nobody tell me it was a mess"

The main driver for her decision was that she spent most of the time tying her back and with a young child could not find the time or suitable occasion when it was worth investing the time to blow dry her long hair.  Her short hair is in a "messy" style and has significantly reduced her styling time - so she is one very happy lady.

Unfortunatley there is no way of telling if you will feel positive about going short or instantly regret it like Redhairedgirl.

Thanks for that. Redhairedgirl, isn't it funny how so much of our personality is attached to our hair? You mentioned how you felt plain and unsexy afterwards..and I wonder if I would feel the same way?

Claude, I know that some short hair styles take time to style too, but I envisioned myself with a messy, unstructured hairstyle. I fantasize that I will just be able to run my gelled hands through it in an "artistic" way and it would just look fabulous like that

Kuroneko, what is the deal with wigs? It does sound like a good idea to buy one and I will definitely look into doing that, but I would think that the shops probably wouldn't let you just try them on at random. What about the hygiene problem?  Anyway....it does sound like a great idea.

Heratic...I can totally relate to your wife. I have 2 young kids (3 years and 1 year) and I just have to wear my hair up around them (or it gets pulled out!).  Also, I don't get out to special occasions as often as I used to, so the times that I take the effort to wear my hair down (which, I might add, mainly consists of air drying time!) are becoming few and far between.  I agree with the sentiment: why bother having long hair if you wear it up all the time anyway?

Anyway, I think what I will do is this: buy a short wig, and wait until I am SURE one way or the other.  Thank you thank you thank you to everyone who has replied!  This seems like a great board and I think I will stick around for a while

I can help answer that question about the wigs!  They put like a plastic cap on your head so you can try them on.  That way it cuts down on the hygiene.  Then when you are sure that you try on the one that you want to buy you can try it on without the plastic on.  A short wig is a terrific idea!  They have got them in all kinds now---not like they were yrs ago. You are very pretty and your hair is gorgeous. But with having 2 kids at that age I can understand!  Have fun deciding!  Debbie 

missrini, I'm not sure if you're coming back to read this BUT I have to tell you that I think you look GREAT the way your hair is! I agree with another poster that short hair may emphasize your prominent jawline and may be out of "balance" with your short hair.

I got all my hair cut off a couple years ago, I felt invigorated for one week, and then desperately wanted my hair back.  Lately, I've been wanting to chop it again, so with the help of this board I'm at a standstill.  I also looked back at pictures of my hair at various lengths and that helped me realize I look better with medium length, not terribly short hair.

Don't cut your awesome hair off just because you've never had short hair.  Also, since you said you don't use styling products, if you get short pixie hair, you'd need styling products to keep it looking like a "style".

Missrini, my wife is 45 with hair to her hips, tho' an inch or two must be trimmed soon. I think that long hair makes most, not all, women look younger and prettier. And your hair is scintillating now! (BTW, both DW and I succumbed to the age myth when she was 36.)

 It's your hair, and I'm sure that short would look fine on you also, if the urge to chop becomes too great. Good luck. Hope you're happy!  Bob

Missrini, my wife is 45 with hair to her hips, tho' an inch or two must be trimmed soon. I think that long hair makes most, not all, women look younger and prettier. And your hair is scintillating now! (BTW, both DW and I succumbed to the age myth when she was 36.)

 It's your hair, and I'm sure that short would look fine on you also, if the urge to chop becomes too great. Good luck. Hope you're happy!  Bob

Hi missrini,

I agree with previous posters: you do look lovely like that.  But if you really are so much considering to go short why don't you just try it? I always feel that it's better to regret having done something then regretting not having done it (as long as we're not talking about illegal stuff ;-) )

If you don't like it, it will grow back anyway. So I would say: just try it. Also if you don't like it, you may find a new style along the way of regrowing it which you like more then the one you have now. And by the way: I wouldn't worry about your face shape, I honestly think short hair would look great with your face!

So I'd say: go for it but like I said, you're already looking lovely like that.

Missrini, you look great in your pictures and I'm guessing that you'll look great with short hair as well. Go for it! Find a good stylist and talk it over. See what he or she would suggest to go along with your face type. Just have a little taken off to start. If you're feeling confident, go shorter. Keep us posted! 

Thank you thank you thank you.  Just an update: I've purchased a short wig off ebay and am waiting for it to arrive (got it from the US..so it might take some time).  Once I get this, I'll try it out and see what it looks like (and take notice of other ppls comments). Then, I think I'll go from there.

Btw...I did manage to find a pic of me with short hair, taken about  8 years ago.  I was doing some hair modelling for the salon, so the pic is a little bit..umm....strange   But anyway, you can see what the short hair looks like.  I'd go for a different style this time though (no fringe on my face...maybe swept to one side).

I kinda like that pic. . . looks like a woman with a secret. . .

What style of wig was it?  Maybe you could link the auction page here for us to check out.

I think the decision for long or short has a lot to do with your expectations of the style. I hate using heat, gel, etc on my hair and I love braids and buns and all sorts of styles like that. I got the big chop about 7 years ago and was told how easy short hair is. Well it completely was against my daily routine. I no longer washed my hair at night because I had to style it fresh from the shower or it looked sloppy. I had very little freedom with it and really didn't like it. I really am a bun and ponytail gal. I don't like hair in my face but I like the option of a dressy feminine style. So I started the growing out process again and it seems every couple years I get amnesia and cut it again. (LOL) For me short hair is just not right. For you it could be great. I also use wigs and falls and they are fantastic for when you don't really feel like spending  hours on your hair. If you do decide to go short, just remember that there are so called wash and go styles and there are some that take almost as much time as long hair. Your curls should be a plus because you probably could just scrunch and go, depending on how short you go. I also recommend gradually reducing the length. I went from mid back to jaw line and talk about traumatic!

Good luck and remember, it's just hair it will grow. I think it is fun to try it at least once. I did enjoy my bob days, but that was also in high school when everyone was experimenting. I am much more secure in my personal style now. You may find the short cut was just what you needed!

Just for you Kuroneko.....here is a pic of the wig I bought (off ebay):

The colour I bought was "Strawberry blonde" which I figure would have to be close to my colour.  And it's human hair, so it's stylable (is that a word??) Can't wait for it to arrive!

Wendy, I think you think VERY much like me! I too like the ease of long hair and I do worry about the styling of a short style. But I tend to chop it all off every few years too. Maybe I should resist this time? But I feel like my personal sense of style is a bit clearer to me now but I'm not sure where my hair fits in with it. Aaagh! What am I saying? It IS only hair isn't it? I like wearing hair pieces too, so that is also an option. Hey, I even like your signature

Thanks Rick...that's the kind of decisive comment I wish my husband would make!! hehehe