Why did you cut it?

The feminine ideal of beauty is the flowing long hair. At least, according to male dominated society. The ing

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Sorry Rod
I misconstrued your question.

I'll go back to the long hair board now :-)

Uzma

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I thought I posted this on the short hair board. Instead, Uzma and Princess Monica have shared why they grew their hair.

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Nothing wrong with doing it for yourself. I understand where you're coming from with that. That's very centered and together.

There isn't anything wrong with changing your look for someone you love or because it's trendy. In fact, it can be a wonderful act of love for a woman to change her look for your boyfriend or husband and it can be fun to go with a trendy look. As long as she makes the final decision, a woman's reasons for growing or cutting her hair can be whatever she wants them to be.

lets keep this short hair orientented folks

I was tired of the same old style and my hairdresser convinced me that I would like a super short style better. I did but found it was much more work than a mid length bob so I am going back to the easy bob. I'll probably get bored again though....

I do have to disagree with one thing though. I don't think most women with long hair have it for men. I think they just think they look better with long hair or they find it easier to style (there is something to be said for a ponytail when all else has failed). Long hair is much more forgiving of styling mistakes and can be pulled back or shoved behind the ears. Most women I know mostly dress for other women. Men don't really notice or appreciate the details like other women do.

Demodoll, you make good points. Bad hair days are easier to cover up with long hair. With some gel and a hair band, hair can just be put into a ponytail.

My girlfriend lets her grow to her shoulders or a little longer, then cuts it just below her chin. She agrees that the shorter look is much better on her, since the longer hair drags her features down. I've mentioned her to that since her hair lookes better shorter, she should try her hair even shorter than chin length. She is afraid she won't be able to put her hair up if it's that short. And she likes to put her hair up if she doesn't feel like stying it.

Part of why women like long hair is men. Many women have said to me they love how their long hair attracts the guys. Add that to the idea that society has put out that long hair is feminine and you have a strong influcence on women.

I don't want to diminish how much a long-haired woman likes long hair. Women do make up their own minds. And long hair can look gorgeous.

There's a friend of mine who really wants very short hair, but she has the most gorgeous mane of long hair. Everyone, including herself, admires it, and it would be a shame to cut it. So, she hasn't. Every now and again she talks about wanting hair above her ears in a short pixie.

I disagree Rod that society says that women are more feminine with long hair. That was true years ago but it's not true now.
Look at the famous fashion models and actresses. Almost all of them have at times worn their hair short or very short and very few of them have real long hair,-(halfway down their back or longer)-.
Most women you see on the street, at the mall, or in the workplace don't have long hair either. Most women you see on dates with their guys at the movies or at clubs don't have long hair.
Bob cuts, typical shoulder length cuts and even short styles are MUCH more common than long hair on women.
Which, -(since I wear my hair so short)-, is fine with me.

While many actresses have cut their hair short, most who break into the business in their teens or 20's have their hair long. Recent discoveries Marley Shelton, Mena Suvari, Shannon Elizabeth, Tara Reid, et al. get parts as the ingenue. There are exceptions, but for the most part this is the case.

I like short hair on women, but 90% of guys prefer long hair. Maybe more. A lot of them prefer only long hair. Some women who want to cut their hair keep it long for guys. How many times have you heard "my boyfriend doesn't want me to cut it." or "my husband hates that I went short?"

I'm not saying it's right. I think it isn't. Short-haired women, to me, are often more attractive. They catch my eye. I never really noticed Marley Shelton or Julia Stiles until after they cut their hair.

Look at shampoo commercials. The women have long hair. Long-haired women are described as beautiful, sexy, sultry, a vixen. Short-haired women are described as cute, perky, spunky. Women with long hair are flirty. Women with short hair are confident.

Society thinks a certain way, whether we agree or not.

I have to agree with my lady Tina on this issue and not because she looks great and very feminine with her short hairstyle.

Very young teenage boys like longer hair on girls but as they become men they often prefer attractive shorter styles on women. I don't know where you got that "90%" stat. Surveys I've read in women's fashion magazines that interview hetrosexual men(and I mean men not boys) indicate that men actually like short to medium styles on women. Bob cuts on women are very popular with guys, so is shoulder length hair and pixies. I don't know where in the world you read that 90% of grown men like women with long hair. That's a 1950s cliche if there ever was one.
Even though I'm a lesbian most of the women I know are hetro and date or are married to men. Most of them have short or medium length hair and they don't seem to have any problem getting handsome guys.

One last thing; This is a short hair board. The purpose of this board set up for us by Hairguy is to Encourage and Cultivate attractive short styles, not to make up silly and inaccurate stats such as over 90% of grown men like long haired women better than shorter lengthed hair on women. That's just silly and obviously not accurate.
Like Tina said, look around, see who guys are dating. You will notice that most of those women( I emphasize WOMEN NOT TEENAGE GIRLS) have moderate-medium or short hair. At least you find that in most major cities.
I wear my hair in a medium length bob I have no axe to grind about hair length, but this is a Short Hair board. Let's respect that and not exagerate things against short haired women. That defeats the purpose of this board and it isn't the reality of life in America.

By stating that men prefer long hair, I'm not slamming short hair. That doesn't mean short-haired women can't get guys or they're not attractive. For the most part, I think they are more attractive. Being among the guys who like short hair, I have the perspective of knowing how small that minority is. I wouldn't venture to tell you what lesbians prefer, since you know more than me.

Guys are an influence on the women they date or marry, some more than others. And almost every guy I know prefers long hair. Stating this won't bring down this board or stop women from cutting their hair. Rather than ignore that guys are an influence on women cutting or growing their hair, this board should discuss it.

Perhaps you don't notice this, since you're not interested in guys, but most women are and they do notice what guys like.

I know more about men -( and what they are attracted to in women)- , than you will ever know Rod. And I'm not a lesbian like Kath is, I'm bisexual and have a child.
I spent almost three years as "an escort", a "working girl" -(read between the lines)- in Chicago and Milwaukee a few years back before I had my kid and believe me THERE IS NO TYPICAL MAN, each one is different.
Many of the men specifically requested women with short hair, others liked long haired girls, most didn't care as long as the lady was pretty and agreeable. The same with race; some liked blondes, others brunettes or Hispanic girls, still others liked black or Asian women.
Myself and the other women I worked with met more men in a month than you will probably meet in ten years Rod. Believe me, each man has different preferences in hair length, body size, color,etc.,etc.,etc.
It also depends where you live in America. In rural areas and more conservative areas "big hair" never really went out of style. I grew up in rural Wisconsin and nearly everyone was Caucasion-(Polish, German, Norweigan)- and being blonde with long hair and/or "big hair" was the thing -( at least with younger women)-.
When I went to Milwaukee and then to Chicago, I found out how isolated my world had been growing up, that in fact women wear EVERY TYPE AND LENGTH of hair and people came in all colors. I also found out that men liked every sort of woman; -women with ALL LENGTHS of hair and all colors of women. I learned that quick. That's one of the first things you learn.
But even someone with my experiences really doesn't know what every man prefers, since most of us, even if we have meet thousands of men, only know .0000000000000001 percent of the men on earth.
SO PLEASE don't insult our intelligence by pretending that you know what all men think about women's hair. Only the good Lord could began to know something like that.

P.S.- Of course shampoo ads show women with long hair(and increasingly bob cuts as well). They want the model to fling her hair around. But have you noticed how makeup commercials and clothing commercials are increasingly featuring women with bobs and even shorter hairstyles, more and more all of the time. -(The woman I see most often in makeup ads is Halle Berry, who has very short hair no longer than my hair)-
But getting back to Kathy's point, since none of us really know what every man thinks( and your little group of buddies hardly represent the 3 BILLION men on earth), don't come on a short hair messageboard and try to tell short haired women that we are less desirable to the majority of men. I don't care if the men and women on this website do prefer long haired girls -( although I am not getting that message from the celebrity board where most of the men seem to like short haired celebrity women )-, those of us who are short haired women don't need to be told that most men don't prefer us. Unless you are God you have no way of knowing that do you Rod.
I'm sure you don't mean to be arrogant or insulting but you really do come across like that. Saying most men like long hair on women better than a cute short hairstyle is the equivelant of saying to a black woman, "Well I like black women but most men like white women better". None of us know for sure what everyone else in the world likes. That much I DO KNOW!!!

Thanks Brent.
Am I "quite a woman"? Oh I don't know, I'm just a midwestern chick Brent, nothing special really. I'm not necesarily proud of everything I've done either..
These days I'm just a "different variation" of a midwestern housewife, with a five year old daughter and a lesbian lover.
Thanks again guy!

Julie, how long was your hair before you met your husband? Did you just cut it right after you met him or right after you were married? Did he ask you to cut it or did you do it because you got the idea he liked short hair?

Temporary insanity -- that's my only defense! Fortunately, that was a few years ago, and I am much, much happier with long hair. Interestingly enough, most people said that once a woman goes short, she'll never grow it out again. That was definitely not the case with me. I couldn't wait until I was able to sniff my freshly washed hair (which is impossible to do when you have cut off your hair!).

My experience with short hair was a disaster. I just missed the sensual feel of silky hair down my neck and body. That's why I would ALWAYS recommend someone with long hair who thinks she may like it short to take it a little bit at a time. If you cut off 2 or 3 inches, it won't take years to grow back. Once it's cut, it's gone for quite awhile. Growing out hair is just horrible.

I'm sorry you didn't have a good experience with short hair Jennifer. but this board is for people who DO like short hairstyles, that's the purpose of it, that's why they have a long hair board on this website for those who like long hair and a short hair board for those of us who like wearing our hair short.

wow, that sounds like its an interesting story, if you dont mind i would like to hear the reast of it :)

Tina, I was just answering the question!

Long-haired women who go dramatically short all at once often either love it or hate it. Since you hated it, you can at least feel comforted that you found out short hair just isn't you. Many of your fellow long-haired women never will know for sure.

You would have been better off going short gradually, but that wasn't the style you wanted. Chances are, you wouldn't have liked that style.

I have a friend with gorgeous long hair. She's always wanted really short hair, above the ears, but has been afraid to cut it. I suggested something in between, but she insists that's the last thing she wants. If she ever decides to do it, she'll get the cut she wants, and see if that cut makes her happy.

For whatever reason, sometimes long haired women decide to go shorter. The style she chooses is personal, but the one she wants. That way she loves or regrets her own choice.

Hairguy, as Tina so observantly point out, this is the short hair forum; my story would fall better into the "Scary Tales at Bedtime" forum!

Actually, the experience taught me many things. I am taking MUCH better care of my hair now than I was before. Previously, I was washing it every day, blow-drying it, and using a scorching curling iron on it. And of course, it looked awful on the ends. But instead of just cutting off a few inches, which would have looked dramatically better, I cut off a lot. Why? God only knows.

I'd like to think this board is for discussing short hair, not just for those who have had good experiences with short hair. Jennifer was just relating her experience as the first post asked. As long as Jennifer doesn't deride other people for having short hair, which she didn't, I'd hope she's welcome.

No biggie.

I just thought Jennifer was being a wee bit over dramatic, as if having a short hairstyle was some sort of disaster.
Considering that at least half the women in the America either have short hair now or have had it short before and many look absolutely STUNNING in short hair and many of us ENJOY WEARING OUR HAIR SHORT, I just thought she was being a little overdramatic.
She describes getting her haircut as a terrible DISASTER. I have known people that have had a leg amputated that seemed less disturbed than Jennifer was about getting her hair cut.
I know people like their hairstyles BUT PLEASE, some perspective on all of this. It's hair for God's sake, keep it in proportion!

Tina, as odd as this sounds, it really was a bit of a disaster. I live in a relatively small area, and apparently people have nothing better to discuss than the appearance of others. When I had my hair cut, I hated it. I really, really hated it.

BUT. That wasn't the disaster. People who were mere acquaintances made a huge deal out of it and fell over themselves complimenting me on it. Even when I made it quite clear that I did not wish to discuss it, they insisted. I think people somehow felt it was their "duty" to talk me into liking my hair. If people would have only made passing comments (or better yet, no comments at all!), I think it would not have been that big of a deal. When someone tells you that she loves what you hate, it's also saying that you have no taste if you don't like it. It's actually an insult.

That's why I am VERY leery of people making comments on the appearance of others. We should pay a lot more attention to what's on the inside instead of what's on the outside. I'm an American and live in the US, but I travel internationally a good deal of the time. Although I love my country, I feel so much more comfortable in European cities. People are not nearly obsessed with giving unsolicited opinions like they are in the US. The freedom from being scrutinized was absolutely wonderful!

You're probably thinking that I'm overly sensitive, and perhaps a little bit, but really not that much. Without sounding like an arrogant "w"itch, I am tall, blonde, and have a well-toned body. I am pleased with the way I look, but I'd much rather be complimented with things I've done, not what nature gave me.

A friend of mine recently lost 40 pounds, and she does look terrific! However, she said when people really knock themselves over giving her compliments on how incredibly wonderful she looks, it's also as if they're saying, "Yeah, you were a real PIG before," although inside she's the same person.

Does any of this make sense?

The United States has the largest percentage of both anorexic and obese people. We also seem to be the country that makes it socially acceptable to constantly comment (especially unsolicited) on how others look. I can't help but wonder if there's a connection.