What to do?

Hello! I definitely have fine hair, mostly straight, a bit of wave when I sleep on it wet. I also have a long face with a broad forehead, generous features spaced far apart. When my hair is long, it looks scraggly, even with minimal split ends.

I recently went from bsl to just below chin length bob, slight layering and bangs. I couldn't figure out how to style my new short hairstyle and ended up looking like a spaniel. Cute as they are, I don't want to LOOK like one!!! So I went for more of a one-length lip bob which I liked the look better and it was easier to style.

Here's the dilemma...I am tall and thin and did not realize that the long hair helped to hide my scrawny upper body! Not only that, but a big face with fine hair isn't very flattering. That tendency to go flat and lifeless, you know. I am undecided as to whether or not I will grow it long or cut it shorter. Right now it's about 2 inches above my razor-sharp shoulderblades. LOL! More layers??? I would love a style that requires the minimum of styling, less is more! Can you picture it? Tall, skinny girl with a big face and small hair?

I know most people suggest no longer than shoulder length for fine hair. Also bangs for long faces. But what kind of styles do you think might work for me?

Sunrise,

judging by your description the fact that you have your hair shorter, makes you realise your figure. Probably others have remarked it earlier. As you have fine hair, a long face and had longhair the emphasis was on every vertical line in your features. So it even made you like thinner, skinnier and longer. The "razor-sharp shoulderblades" were visible then to the onlooker, now to you. If you're looking to disguise this feature, use adapted clothing rather than (your fine) hair.

Unfortunately if the bangs are styled vertically down, they'll put unnecessary pressure on your face. Instead of visually shortening it, it makes it even longer. Try styling the bangs to one side, it will add movement that distracts the attention of the tall, skinny girl. As curls will not hold well in your hair, the only way to get more "movement" is by avoiding a blunt, one length cut. Even layers will add texture to your hair and will make styling a lot easier. Do not style your hair with wax (as you probably already know), unless you're going for a "wet look". Use a light mousse or hairspray (not gel sprays) to keep some styling in your hair. Choose a hairstyle that can be weared "dried by air" and fancy. This way you'll have the choice, depending on how much time you've got. Consider a short style (no pixie!) versus the mid length you've got now. But that's up to your liking.

And keep in mind, there is one thing we can assure you: the sun will rise .

Thank You for your informative response! I've had vertical bangs for most of my life and did not realize that I was emphasizing my long face rather than the desired effect of shortening it! A few weeks ago I had snipped them to an inch above my brows and noticed that that too made my face look longer. They have since grown out, but not yet long enough to sweep to the side. I will grow them longer, as per your suggestion.

I was thinking last night of how best to describe myself and came up with two comparisons. One is Uma Thurman's body. I've been told I am 'willowy', and yes, too skinny. The other is Olive Oil. That Popeye character. You know how every part of her body looks stretched out like silly putty? Yeah, like that! And she looks to have fine hair too, plastered to her head!!! So if you were to give Olive Oil a makeover, what would you do?! Her crewneck top is just as unflattering on me as it is on her!!!

I have found that blunt cuts seem to make the most of my fine hair. But it's strange...has anybody else noticed that the trend for stylists these days is to take a razor to the hair, giving it uneven layers and 'texturing'? It reminds me of those special scissors they use to thin out thick hair. I don't *have* thick hair, so I can never understand when my stylists insist on razoring my hair when it has the effect of thinning out what little I already have.

Am I misguided on this thought? I just know that the first cut I got from BSL to layered bob, she 'texturized' it with a razor, and my hair would not cooperate with me no matter what I did. Blown upside down, scrunching gel...vent brush and mousse...round brush and mousse...curling iron to try to flip it (and you are so right, my hair refuses to hold curl unless I shellac it with hairspray!)...YECK! If I could've gotten it to look 'messy cute' aka 'bedhead', that would have been fine; but no go! When I had 2 inches of the layers cut off into more of a blunt bob, it fell a lot better!

Now I'm at that blah tweener stage. Hair purgatory. Either way, two inches shorter or maybe two inches longer would look better than *this*! The women in my life like the shorter 'do. The men, of course, like it longer. Me? I miss the security blanket of my hair, as I was accused of hiding behind it. However, the short blunt bob seems the easiest to maintain and I feel cute when I look in the mirror. Kinda like Alyssa Milano's hair in the first season of Charmed (I see that's out on dvd now). I needed a change as I was getting sick of putting the long hair in variations of ponytails. But in pictures, I look bad with the short hair. Again, little hair on my elongated body.

Here's the other 'dilemma'...how old is too old to look 'cute'? With that chin length bob, I look around and notice the trend is looooooong hair. I also notice that most people who have the bob I favored were either ages 6 and under or a few decades older than I am (mid 30's). When are hair clips and little barettes considered to be inappropriate? And how does one pull off an evening look with this bob? Maybe this part of my post should be posted in a separate thread in a different 'room'?

Thanks!
And yes, my friend the sun is shining again today! :)
Sunrise

I think it's fine to look cute at any age, so long as you don't look like you're trying too hard. If you're 35 and wear everything Mickey Mouse, or you wear little plaid skirts and pigtails, that's overdoing it. But you can be 35 and wear the plaid skirt without the pigtails, own a couple of Mickey Mouse shirts, wear a butterfly-themed clippie in your hair once in a while, etc. and be all right.

[QUOTE] ... I will grow them longer, as per your suggestion.[/QUOTE]

You don

[QUOTE=Kuroneko] I think it's fine to look cute at any age, so long as you don't look like you're trying too hard. If you're 35 and wear everything Mickey Mouse, or you wear little plaid skirts and pigtails, that's overdoing it. But you can be 35 and wear the plaid skirt without the pigtails, own a couple of Mickey Mouse shirts, wear a butterfly-themed clippie in your hair once in a while, etc. and be all right.

LOL!!!! Thanks Kuroneko for the humorous yet appropriate guidelines!!! :) I look younger than my age, so I've been able to pull off 'cute' for quite some time. I think my 'cute card' is starting to expire though! LOL!!! I have never looked good in two pigtails, no matter how cute that looks on everybody else, darnit! I do have plaid skirts, but they are pencil or A-line to the knees. I was doing somewhat of a mix between preppy and maybe retro for a while there. College attire with my short bob and short fringe, cute clips, nose stud, tortoise shell glasses. I felt good when I looked in the mirror and went about my day.

Then I see the reality TV shows where all the women my age have long flowing manes of hair, and I feel like I need to give up 'cute' and grow my hair back to look like what I see on tv.

**You don

Sunrise, you made the sun rise over here (although it's grey, cloudy and chilly)

[QUOTE] "Mop upside down". Do you mean when the hair hangs at one length, minimal layering?
[/QUOTE]
Yes, same length, minimal layering at the ends. oeoeoeoeoh .... shiver me timbers

[QUOTE] Now here's where my hair dye dilemma comes into play. I've been going grey since 20 and use Natural Instincts semi-perm. color. I try to make the color last by washing every other day. Yet on the second day, I admittedly have the problem you describe above. Oil, limp hair. When I had the long hair, I could get away with a lazy ponytail to disguise it! I am reluctant to go with a permanent color since the roots are more noticeable with the perm. colors on me.
[/QUOTE]
Consider getting a permanent colour anyway. The grey hair is unfortunately there to stay ... Upside: permanent colouring makes the hair in fact look a bit thicker; not because the colour pigments are glued on top of the shaft . Just because the colouring contains chemicals that open up the shaft, "insert" pigments and try to reclose it. The 'trying' part is never 100% succesfull, making the same shaft of hair a tiny bit thicker. Frequent recolouring is necessary, but you could make it last longer by touching up with a semi permanent colouring. Some hairstylist offer (in exchange for money ofcourse) semi permanent colours to clients with the exact colour mix they used (permanent one). For the DIY in you (I still remember the fringe ), that combination is available too in good shops. What some like to do is to mix two basic colours (eg dark blond and light brown) to get a more sophisicated colour.

[QUOTE] Then it turns out when I pushed my husband for a preference, he said the sweet safe answer that I am beautiful all ways, but the long hair was better on me. *sigh*
[/QUOTE]
Sure he didn't give you the answer you wanted? He indicated prefering short... Then finally came first the safe answer, then in the end he gave in because you kept insisting? Could it be he got the impression you didn't like his opinion (short) and then changed it to long, just for you? If he did, he's a gem!
Try on one occassion to get it completely out in the open. And no matter what the answer is, respect it - make that very clear from the start. If he likes short (although you don't like it) accept it, without disputing. The same applies for long hair ofcourse. Then ask his input what he thinks looks best on you, it might be something completely different. Again, no arguments, let him make his case, then decide for yourself. Clear communication and understanding is always nice.

[QUOTE] Lately though, my confidence is wobbly with this tweener style. I'm gonna have to do something soon!
[/QUOTE]
Time to get a haircut then ...

[QUOTE] So yes, it's this overall length that's not flattering.
[/QUOTE]
Exactly how long was that length?


[QUOTE] THANKS AGAIN!!!
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Glad to hear I helped you! Bmail if you like.

**Sunrise, you made the sun rise over here (although it's grey, cloudy and chilly) **

GOOD MORNING!!! Come on over and enjoy the sun shining here! :) It's a lovely day!!! (why oh why do we have to work?!)

**Yes, same length, minimal layering at the ends. oeoeoeoeoh .... shiver me timbers **

*chuckles* I am in danger of morphing into that dreaded MOP!!! At the moment, I do have minimal layers at the ends. The overall length is right where the neck slopes into the shoulders.

**Consider getting a permanent colour anyway. The grey hair is unfortunately there to stay**

Yes, and steadily increasing over the years. I will proudly sport my 'silver threads of wisdom' when my hair resembles my mom's, which is a gorgeous salt and pepper, more 'salt' at the temples. That's where mine show thru first as my color is rinsing out.

**... Upside: permanent colouring makes the hair in fact look a bit thicker; not because the colour pigments are glued on top of the shaft . Just because the colouring contains chemicals that open up the shaft, "insert" pigments and try to reclose it. The 'trying' part is never 100% succesfull, making the same shaft of hair a tiny bit thicker. Frequent recolouring is necessary, but you could make it last longer by touching up with a semi permanent colouring. **

I didn't know any of this. Thank you for the information. Would it be okay to dye permanent over a semi?

**Some hairstylist offer (in exchange for money ofcourse) semi permanent colours to clients with the exact colour mix they used (permanent one). For the DIY in you (I still remember the fringe ), that combination is available too in good shops. What some like to do is to mix two basic colours (eg dark blond and light brown) to get a more sophisicated colour.**

*chuckles* I have to give them MONEY?!?! This is not the first time the thought has crossed my mind that I should venture across the street and enroll myself in beauty school so I can learn how to do ALL of it myself!!!! LOL!!! I also didn't know they could get the same shade for permanent color and semis. Thanks again!

**Sure he didn't give you the answer you wanted? He indicated prefering short... Then finally came first the safe answer, then in the end he gave in because you kept insisting? Could it be he got the impression you didn't like his opinion (short) and then changed it to long, just for you? If he did, he's a gem!**

Here's how it went: Basically I told him that I am unhappy with my hair no matter what, long or short, I don't have a preference for myself. So since I couldn't decide and he has to look at me every day, I would like to know what he prefers seeing. My H is very humorous, so I took a silly approach. That's when he said that I am beautiful no matter what, long, short, bald, whatever. But if he HAD to state a preference, I'm the long hair 'type', long hair suits me. That's when I began popping biotin and bought a month's supply of HF37!!! LOL!!!

**Time to get a haircut then ...

Or add more layers?? Still undecided!!!

**Glad to hear I helped you! Bmail if you like.**

Is that 'board mail'? I'll look around for the button to click on....Just like my hair, I'm not afraid to click around on a computer and figure it out! I also don't know how people post pictures in here...

THANKS BUDDY!!!